Malindo Air. Avoid the fucktardery.
Posted: Fri Sep 20, 2019 10:36 am
It started well.
The 1.20 am Perth to KL leg couldn’t have been better. First in line at check in, asked for a window seat, got emergency exit window with nobody next to me. Plane levels out after take-off, and the next thing I know it’s “Put seats in the upright position…” We’re about to land and I’ve had a 5 hour flight disappear in what seemed like minutes.
Boarded KL-Kathmandu on time. 20 minutes on the tarmac it’s starting to get a bit warm in the cabin. The captain informs us there’s a technical issue (not a/c related), we’ll be delayed a couple more minutes. OK, I’ll watch a movie . Nope, the entertainment ... “We regret to notify passengers that the entertainment system is not working at this time”
40 minutes on the tarmac jackets are coming off, hands one after another start rising up like periscopes throughout the cabin trying to get some air flow from overhead vents, 200 Nepalese factory workers returning home begin to sweat with the three westerners on board and the cabin is now hot. I state the obvious to one cabin crew member, her reply being “It will be OK once we’re in the air.” To myself…”I know, but we’re not in the fucking air, are we?”
Just over an hour on the tarmac we start moving. One and a half hours into the flight we get food. Imagine a dirty sink sponge wrapped in a rough wet rag splattered in lumpy swamp water. I couldn’t eat it, and I eat anything. Honestly, without doubt the most revolting, disgusting slop I’ve ever seen offered on a flight.
Almost 4 hours to the minute the engine revs drop and we start flying in circles above Kathmandu. The captain lets us know there’s a slight delay with no gates available at Tribhuvan airport, but we’re in line. The holding pattern continues for another thirty minutes before the captain again tells us we’re in line and it shouldn’t be much longer before we descend.
Another 15 minutes goes by. Captain announces we’re off to Varanasi to refuel, then we’ll come back and join the cue. We should be on the ground in Varanasi for 30 minutes. At the 45 minute mark on the ground in Varanasi four Indian officials get on the plane. Two start chatting up the cabin crew, two are in the cockpit doing paper work. We’re all sweating hot as fuck again when another westerner (an Aussie)lets out a yell “For fuck sakes turn the air con on!”
One hour after we landed in India we’re on or way back to Nepal. We land, get through the mayhem that’s Nepal immigration and head to baggage claim. Where are all the bags? A man comes over to tell us half of today’s flight still have their baggage in KL, we’ll need to go to the counter to give our details. Line up for half an hour, then give phone number, accommodation name etc. Come back at 7.30 pm one guy says, no, 9.30pm by another, no, 10 pm by yet another, that’s when the next Malindo flight will be arriving with our bags. Supposedly.
I taxi into Thamel, book into my guest house, get food, have a beer then taxi back to the airport, it takes an hour back because of traffic jams. I go to a counter and tell them the story. You need a form from another counter - a “lost baggage form”. But my baggage isn’t lost, I explain……this debate plays out for ten or so minutes between me and the clerk as I try to get into the terminal
Oh, you need a terminal pass. Go over there. I go over there. Yes, we can give you a pass into baggage claim, but you’ll have to come back later, after the plane has landed. Plane lands I go back and get told to wait for twenty minutes. Why, I ask. It is just that way, sir, I’m told. I finally get a pass into the terminal and line up at security...belts off again.
After five hours at Trbhuvan terminal I get my bags. It’s been 24 hours of Malindo Air fucktardery. I strongly recommend avoiding this mob as it certainly doesn’t do what is says on the can.
One of the counter assistant later informs me the captain while on the tarmac in KL was told of the delay issues at Kathmandu, but having already fueled, decided to off-load weight to give him more holding time if need be, hence the extended delay on the tarmac at KL.
The 1.20 am Perth to KL leg couldn’t have been better. First in line at check in, asked for a window seat, got emergency exit window with nobody next to me. Plane levels out after take-off, and the next thing I know it’s “Put seats in the upright position…” We’re about to land and I’ve had a 5 hour flight disappear in what seemed like minutes.
Boarded KL-Kathmandu on time. 20 minutes on the tarmac it’s starting to get a bit warm in the cabin. The captain informs us there’s a technical issue (not a/c related), we’ll be delayed a couple more minutes. OK, I’ll watch a movie . Nope, the entertainment ... “We regret to notify passengers that the entertainment system is not working at this time”
40 minutes on the tarmac jackets are coming off, hands one after another start rising up like periscopes throughout the cabin trying to get some air flow from overhead vents, 200 Nepalese factory workers returning home begin to sweat with the three westerners on board and the cabin is now hot. I state the obvious to one cabin crew member, her reply being “It will be OK once we’re in the air.” To myself…”I know, but we’re not in the fucking air, are we?”
Just over an hour on the tarmac we start moving. One and a half hours into the flight we get food. Imagine a dirty sink sponge wrapped in a rough wet rag splattered in lumpy swamp water. I couldn’t eat it, and I eat anything. Honestly, without doubt the most revolting, disgusting slop I’ve ever seen offered on a flight.
Almost 4 hours to the minute the engine revs drop and we start flying in circles above Kathmandu. The captain lets us know there’s a slight delay with no gates available at Tribhuvan airport, but we’re in line. The holding pattern continues for another thirty minutes before the captain again tells us we’re in line and it shouldn’t be much longer before we descend.
Another 15 minutes goes by. Captain announces we’re off to Varanasi to refuel, then we’ll come back and join the cue. We should be on the ground in Varanasi for 30 minutes. At the 45 minute mark on the ground in Varanasi four Indian officials get on the plane. Two start chatting up the cabin crew, two are in the cockpit doing paper work. We’re all sweating hot as fuck again when another westerner (an Aussie)lets out a yell “For fuck sakes turn the air con on!”
One hour after we landed in India we’re on or way back to Nepal. We land, get through the mayhem that’s Nepal immigration and head to baggage claim. Where are all the bags? A man comes over to tell us half of today’s flight still have their baggage in KL, we’ll need to go to the counter to give our details. Line up for half an hour, then give phone number, accommodation name etc. Come back at 7.30 pm one guy says, no, 9.30pm by another, no, 10 pm by yet another, that’s when the next Malindo flight will be arriving with our bags. Supposedly.
I taxi into Thamel, book into my guest house, get food, have a beer then taxi back to the airport, it takes an hour back because of traffic jams. I go to a counter and tell them the story. You need a form from another counter - a “lost baggage form”. But my baggage isn’t lost, I explain……this debate plays out for ten or so minutes between me and the clerk as I try to get into the terminal
Oh, you need a terminal pass. Go over there. I go over there. Yes, we can give you a pass into baggage claim, but you’ll have to come back later, after the plane has landed. Plane lands I go back and get told to wait for twenty minutes. Why, I ask. It is just that way, sir, I’m told. I finally get a pass into the terminal and line up at security...belts off again.
After five hours at Trbhuvan terminal I get my bags. It’s been 24 hours of Malindo Air fucktardery. I strongly recommend avoiding this mob as it certainly doesn’t do what is says on the can.
One of the counter assistant later informs me the captain while on the tarmac in KL was told of the delay issues at Kathmandu, but having already fueled, decided to off-load weight to give him more holding time if need be, hence the extended delay on the tarmac at KL.