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Curious about Bacon?

Posted: Thu Apr 30, 2015 8:28 am
by Kampong Spooner
Church of Bacon offers weddings, baptisms and funerals to thousands of meat lovers ... r_facebook

Prophets of the bizarre religion claim to have 4,000 members and are performing hundreds of legal weddings for FREE

Hundreds of madly in love meat fans are getting married in a 'church of bacon'.

Prophets who spread the word of the 'bacon God' claim to have over 4,000 members.

Followers boast titles like 'Funkmaster General', 'Institutionalized Thought Leader' and 'Bacon Prophet'.

Members can get their own 'bacon wedding' for free and their website also advertises funerals and baptisms.

A statement on the United Church of Bacon website reads: "Officiants in the United Church of Bacon can perform legal weddings for those who don’t want God in their ceremony.

"We’ll bring creative suggestions to make your wedding even more magical. Or if you already have a plan, we will follow your lead."

The mockery religion was founded in Las Vegas by atheist John Whiteside in 2010.

He started it as a protest to fight discrimination against atheists.

Bacon prophet John said: "The hatred of atheists, atheophobia and secularphobia, has no stigma, unlike homophobia, Islamophobia, anti-Semitism, and racism. That needs to change.”

A statement on their website calls for people to stand up for separation of church and state.

It reads: "The skeptics’ church has a serious intent, to fight religious discrimination against non-believers, to promote church-state separation, and to demand equal rights for everyone, regardless of faith."

The Church of Bacon has been widely criticised by several religious leaders after putting up several billboards up around Las Vegas

But John said: "We enjoy people mocking us. We mock ourselves. This isn’t supposed to offend anyone."

About the Church
The United Church of Bacon is a real, legal church based in Las Vegas, Nevada with 4,000 members worldwide.

We chose a funny bacon name to expose how wrong it is for society to give automatic respect and special legal privileges to religions. Is our saying we worship Bacon really any stranger than Catholics who say that communion wafers become the body of Christ? Unlike God, who is invisible, at least we can see Bacon. Bacon is demonstrably real.

Our name has nothing to do with a rude term for police officers. We respect the police and our founder is a decorated veteran.

We were founded in 2010 by friends of magician Penn Jillette of Penn & Teller. We now have 4,000 members from around the world.

Beliefs and Mission
9 Bacon Commandments
The United Church of Bacon holds to a list of 9 Bacon Commandments. We tried to make it 10, but ran out of space on the tablets and didn’t want to start over.

Our mission is:

We oppose supernatural claims. We are skeptics and atheists. In our religion, we doubt religion.
We fight discrimination. Atheists are not inferior and should not be hated and marginalized.
We raise money for charity while accepting no donations for ourselves.
We perform legal weddings, always for free. How joyful!
We expose religious privileges as silly by claiming the same rights for Bacon.
We praise Bacon! If you don’t like pigs, praise Vegetarian Bacon or Turkey Bacon.1. Be Skeptical.
We are a church of skeptics and atheists. Our religion is to doubt religion. We are a non-prophet organization.

Keep learning. Accept scientific consensuses. Promote science and reason.

2. Respect Boundaries.
We accept anyone into the church and you may worship another God besides Bacon.

However, we support separation of church and state. Faith-based arguments from one group of people have no business in government decisions that affect all of the people.

Religious organizations that pressure government to their worldview violate the basic rights of minority religions and non-religious people of the world.

3. Normalize Atheists.
We oppose discrimination against nonbelievers. Religious people are not superior to the rest of us. Skeptics and atheists do not lack a moral compass. We are an important and growing minority. We deserve a normalized, respected place in families, communities, and public discourse.

It’s not enough to notice discrimination. We need speak up when it happens.

4. Normalize Religion.
We oppose special privileges in the law for religious organizations. There is nothing about people of faith and their groups that makes them better than secular non-profits.

5. Have Fun.
We have fun. We mock all beliefs, even our own. At least Bacon is demonstrably real, unlike God, but some skeptics even question this “theory”.

6. Be Good.
Unlike some religions, we don’t get tangled in unproveable supernatural interpretations of goodness that might be manipulated or misinterpreted to justify anything. Just be kind to people while respecting their boundaries.

Baconists love people of all races, backgrounds, sexual orientations, genders, and beliefs. The divine smell of bacon is bestowed equally on all people (except those who have no sense of smell, for whom baconists feel much pity)

7. Be Generous.
Like some religions teach, you should love your neighbor. That’s why we accept no donations, but encourage giving to a list of recommended charities.

8. Praise Bacon!
Bacon is our god, but that’s just a term of endearment. We don’t believe that Bacon is actually spiritual, though smelling it is surely a Divine Experience. We also like donuts because they are Holey.

In the beginning there was the Big Bang, which begat all of time and space. Eventually sacrificial pigs evolved and the God of Bacon came to be.

Praise Bacon! If you don’t like pigs, you may praise Vegetarian Bacon or Turkey Bacon. Or just love the smell.

Bacon is not jealous. You may have other gods or no gods before Bacon.

We are entirely different from those who worship the Flying Spaghetti Monster, for we prefer our pasta on top of our bacon, while they prefer their bacon on top of their pasta. But that’s cool. Again, we accept everyone who loves the smell of bacon. Also, bacon is real.

The Great Mystery of Bacon is whether it is male or female. Bacon Prophet and Founder John Whiteside has listened closely to frying Bacon and has been unable to determine its gender from the sound of sizzle. He found that the more he turned up the heat, the more aggressive Bacon got. We do not need to understand all mysteries about Bacon to love of the smell of Bacon.

9. Pay Taxes
Unlike other churches, the United Church of Bacon does not claim tax exempt status. We pay our taxes just like everyone else, because we do not believe that religions are inherently better than everyone else.

Each year in the United States, $88 billion in revenue is not collected from churches because of religious tax exemptions. This money would feed all Americans on food stamps and leave more than $10 billion for housing the homeless. Religions receive many other unfair privileges, including not needing to report how donations are spent, an oversight that would limit abuse.

We need to take religion off of its pedestal and make it normal, like other non-profits. Unlike the churches of other religions, Baconists pay taxes and do not ask for donations, unless it is to subsidize the pork industry. Or to contribute to our list of recommended charities.

Re: Curious about Bacon?

Posted: Thu Apr 30, 2015 1:29 pm
by General Mackevili
Only in America!

Re: Curious about Bacon?

Posted: Thu Apr 30, 2015 2:36 pm
by Duncan
Can't wait to join a Khmer Prohok Church in Cambodia.

Re: Curious about Bacon?

Posted: Thu Apr 30, 2015 5:19 pm
by wackyjacky
I'm sure its adherents aren't afraid to meat their maker !

Re: Curious about Bacon?

Posted: Thu Apr 30, 2015 6:25 pm
by Garry.Crabtree
Atheism 1 v Muslim 0

Re: Curious about Bacon?

Posted: Thu Apr 30, 2015 7:18 pm
by vladimir
Have a crackling good wedding.

Brides guaranteed to get truly porked after the reception.

Re: Curious about Bacon?

Posted: Thu Apr 30, 2015 10:03 pm
by MekongMouse
Such piggish language, vlad.

Re: Curious about Bacon?

Posted: Fri May 01, 2015 4:18 am
by vladimir
MekongMouse wrote:Such piggish language, vlad.
Sow what?

Re: Curious about Bacon?

Posted: Fri May 01, 2015 4:24 am
by General Mackevili
I'm bacon you to stop!

Re: Curious about Bacon?

Posted: Fri May 01, 2015 6:50 am
by vladimir
One recent convert had to think long and hard, but his friend just did it on impulse.

One could say he was rasher.