Cambodia Expats Online: Forum | News | Information | Blog

Do you think paying a bride price a good idea in Cambodian culture? That is when a Cambodian marries another Cambodian?

We have already learnt in another topic, that many foreigners with Cambodian women have not paid paid a bride price. This is not intended to be a discussion on foreigners paying or not paying a bride price.

It seems like people confuse paying for a wedding ceremony with buying a human being. The concept seems medieval.

John Bingham wrote: ↑Tue Jul 07, 2020 3:29 pm It seems like people confuse paying for a wedding ceremony with buying a human being. The concept seems medieval.

Think of it as a long time bar fine. You are compensating the father (employer) for taking away the daughter (an employee). Quite common in many traditional cultures.

John Bingham wrote: ↑Tue Jul 07, 2020 3:29 pm It seems like people confuse paying for a wedding ceremony with buying a human being. The concept seems medieval.

I worked In Papua New Guinea and they had to bride prices there and it was selling a girl into slavery, I just cant get my head around it any other way. its buying a someone. I Agree with above totally

I wonder if this bride price is some compensation to parents for keeping their daughter virtuous and original and untouched by another man's hands

I don't agree with it as it is discriminatory towards men, who have to pay it while women don't. On a personal level, when one is in love with a particular person, and standing against the power of culture, it may be necessary to compromise to achieve personal goals.

Bottom line is, if we strive for some degree of equality, it can't make sense.

Could someone please breakdown the various cost associated with a bride price as apposed to paying for a wedding, thanks

Kohker wrote: ↑Tue Jul 07, 2020 4:28 pm Could someone please breakdown the various cost associated with a bride price as apposed to paying for a wedding, thanks

You will be paying for both unless the girl has been working in the sex industry then you only pay for the wedding. That is if you think a prostitute would make a fine wife. I always say there are no white picket fences in Cambodia.

You're not paying for a bride, you merely reimburse the cost her parents spent to raise her and make you pick her. And it also looks good when you're on your knees the whole day while people cut your hair and spray with low cost perfume.

Also the more you give, the more value you give to her and her family. So the upper they are, the more, you have to give and if you think it's not true, just try lowballing them. And when they reach the point where money doesn't matter, they start giving jewelries, cars, house, whatever you can think of which give "value/face" to the bride (and by extension her family).

This "cost of milk" is more religious customs than "must do cultural things".