Why Some Cambodian Women Are Attracted to Older Foreign Men
Posted: Fri Apr 15, 2016 8:34 pm
This was on the "Only in Cambodia" Facebook Page, along with this comment, which I have to say is reasonable, LoL:
"Ah, the arrogance (and ignorance) of youth. Take your ease there a minute and let this 68 yr. old Paddy see if he can straighten out your heads a bit. Now, I could, justifiably, describe this post as ageist, imperialist, sexist and prejudiced but labels will serve no useful purpose. For a start, you're absolutely right that for some Cambodian women, it's an older man's money that is the primary attraction. But, were I a younger man, I wouldn't be feeling too smug, cos' guess what, there's absolutely no difference; young man or old, for some - in fact I'd say most - Cambodian women, money is the primary attraction. Does that devalue the relationship a barang has with a Khmer woman? Not in the slightest. Is that being disrespectful of Khmer women? Not at all and in fact, if we hadn't got our heads so far up our arses we'd see that it could not be otherwise. A quick perusal of Maslow's "Hierarchy of Needs" would serve well to illustrate my viewpoint but essentially it says we have different levels of needs; our primary need, not surprisingly, is survival. Coming from the affluent "West" our survival needs are mostly assured; few will die of starvation or exposure because the "state" has developed sufficient safety nets. Our relative luxury allows us elevate "romantic love" to the status of being the most desirable basis for a relationship ( tho if truth were told, romantic love - because it is so bloody whimsical - is probably the least suitable basis for a sustainable relationship ) and to consider a relationship based on anything other than romantic love as inferior. In our arrogance we tend to forget that in our own societies, up to maybe 3 generations back, the vast majority of relationships were economically based and to this day, on vast swathes of the planet, romantic love is not a consideration in forming relationships. Now, locate yourself in the reality of life for many Cambodians. If you're not sure where the family's next meal is coming from, are you, as a Cambodian woman, going to consider romantic love when you meet a barang? Are you going to consider age? Are you going to consider looks? Well are you? Money = Survival; its that simple. That said, if a barang makes and keeps a deal with a woman that ensures hers and her family's survival then she can move on to romantic love, she can move on to the intimacy we seek; getting there is down to our skills in courtship. I could go on to tackle the obviously prejudiced perspective on why older men hang out with younger women but I fear I might have already overtaxed your youthful attention capacity. Slainte.
"Ah, the arrogance (and ignorance) of youth. Take your ease there a minute and let this 68 yr. old Paddy see if he can straighten out your heads a bit. Now, I could, justifiably, describe this post as ageist, imperialist, sexist and prejudiced but labels will serve no useful purpose. For a start, you're absolutely right that for some Cambodian women, it's an older man's money that is the primary attraction. But, were I a younger man, I wouldn't be feeling too smug, cos' guess what, there's absolutely no difference; young man or old, for some - in fact I'd say most - Cambodian women, money is the primary attraction. Does that devalue the relationship a barang has with a Khmer woman? Not in the slightest. Is that being disrespectful of Khmer women? Not at all and in fact, if we hadn't got our heads so far up our arses we'd see that it could not be otherwise. A quick perusal of Maslow's "Hierarchy of Needs" would serve well to illustrate my viewpoint but essentially it says we have different levels of needs; our primary need, not surprisingly, is survival. Coming from the affluent "West" our survival needs are mostly assured; few will die of starvation or exposure because the "state" has developed sufficient safety nets. Our relative luxury allows us elevate "romantic love" to the status of being the most desirable basis for a relationship ( tho if truth were told, romantic love - because it is so bloody whimsical - is probably the least suitable basis for a sustainable relationship ) and to consider a relationship based on anything other than romantic love as inferior. In our arrogance we tend to forget that in our own societies, up to maybe 3 generations back, the vast majority of relationships were economically based and to this day, on vast swathes of the planet, romantic love is not a consideration in forming relationships. Now, locate yourself in the reality of life for many Cambodians. If you're not sure where the family's next meal is coming from, are you, as a Cambodian woman, going to consider romantic love when you meet a barang? Are you going to consider age? Are you going to consider looks? Well are you? Money = Survival; its that simple. That said, if a barang makes and keeps a deal with a woman that ensures hers and her family's survival then she can move on to romantic love, she can move on to the intimacy we seek; getting there is down to our skills in courtship. I could go on to tackle the obviously prejudiced perspective on why older men hang out with younger women but I fear I might have already overtaxed your youthful attention capacity. Slainte.