James "Watto" Watson.

[Kung-fu Hillbilly]

I've been asked to post a request for information on a missing person.

I’m Looking for my Father

Hi. I was hoping someone might have information about a person named James Allan Watson, or Watto.. He moved to Cambodia leaving me and my six brothers and sisters with our alcoholic mother in 2001 after falling in love with a bar girl named Pen. Pen lived with us for a while as our second mum but mother number one couldn’t stand the smell of her fish amok so asked her to leave. - dad left with her. Yes, it was a strange situation, but there it is.

My father had some vices and wasn’t the perfect human being, it has to be said, but he’s still my father and I haven’t seen him in almost eighteen years. Mum number one withdrew all contact not long after dad left us, mum then died in a BDSM mishap at some adult club in London - all we have to remember her by is a whip and some very soiled underwear.

One of my sisters has recently been to Phnom Penh looking for our father but fell in love with a tuk tuk driver, married him and has now moved to rural Cambodia to raise pigs. It’s been very difficult for her with the recent outbreak of swine flu and we’ve been sending what money we can to help her to get by, but as I and the rest of my family here in the UK were in a horrific rollerblading accident we are all now on the invalid pension. Susan the eldest still has a wheel bearing lodged in her brain that can’t be removed and she now makes a “whizzing” type sound whenever she moves.

Even though my father is an alcoholic, last we heard he was doing OK. He’d come to some arrangement to plant land mines in the countryside and maintains an income from dodgy NGOs or something, or bomb removal training companies who remove them for the Cambodian government. Apparently Dad’s lost two legs and an arm through his occupation and can’t plant as many bombs as quickly as he used to, but that was a long time ago.

Anyway, I’m open to any questions that might help you identify my father. We miss him a lot and want him to come home. If you’ve seen a wheelchair-bound amputee alcoholic bomb planter around named James Watto Watson, please get in contact. Thanks.

It seems anything is allowed to be posted on CEO now whether it's true or not.

[fax]

I’m Looking for my Father

dad left us then died in a BDSM mishap at some adult club in London - all we have to remember her by is a whip and some very soiled underwear.

Come on, it's a wind up. Someone is trolling via you as proxy.

They are looking for their dad who died in a London bdsm club and you posted it?

[Jerry Atrick]

I’m Looking for my Father

dad left us then died in a BDSM mishap at some adult club in London - all we have to remember her by is a whip and some very soiled underwear.

Come on, it's a wind up. Someone is trolling via you as proxy.

They are looking for their dad who died in a London bdsm club and you posted it?

Whoosh!

[angkorjohn2]

Great post KFH, a very funny story, it must be a Friday, who sent this to you sir? The Seawolf?

[fax]

One of my sisters has recently been to Phnom Penh looking for our father but fell in love with a tuk tuk driver, married him and has now moved to rural Cambodia to raise pigs.

[frank lee bent]

I will find him for a small fee, say a million USD.

I need to pay off the mortgage on my ultra wealthy great great great grandfather's place before he gets tossed into the street.

He is on the run for deserting from the IDF.

[Kung-fu Hillbilly]

I will find him for a small fee, say a million USD.

I need to pay off the mortgage on my ultra wealthy great great great grandfather's place before he gets tossed into the street.

He is on the run for deserting from the IDF.

The eldest sister Susan ( the one that makes "whizzing" noises when she moves because of the wheel bearing in her head) is willing to undertake sexual servitude as payment. You could insert a screwdriver into her ear for the "whirring" noise, I guess.

[Username Taken]

It's ok Kung-fu Hillbilly, I believe your story. (It's just a shame that you have to say that you're posting it on behalf of someone else.)

I know where Watto is. I'll PM you. Don't worry.

[Kung-fu Hillbilly]

It's ok Kung-fu Hillbilly, I believe your story. (It's just a shame that you have to say that you're posting it on behalf of someone else.)

I know where Watto is. I'll PM you. Don't worry.

Dad???

[Clutch Cargo]