Happy Birthday
Posted: Sun Apr 30, 2017 10:58 am
To Me,,,
Well it was quite exciting celebrating my 70 th birthday, as I have never had a 70 th birthday before and probably never celebrate it again, although I can remember celebrating my 21 st birthday several years in a row. I had sent out invites cards to all my friends to come to the party but it came back , '' gone, address unknown '' so I plan on being much better organized for my 80 th birthday celebration, I''ll just send invites out to my enemies. In fact I may get 1000 card printed and start sending them out next week so everyone will not have an excuse to not attend. I probably have to get another 1000 printed in the next ten years , cause as everyone knows, your list of enemies grows a lot faster than your list of friends.
I'm a bit pissed off at the delivery guy at the post office right now as he hasn't delivered my birthday cards and pressies you guys have sent, but not to wurry, he's probably still in the village celebrating Khmer new year, so I guess they will all be arriving this week.
Hope no-one has bought me a wheelchair or walking stick for a pressie. One girl I know at Wat Phnom has said she will buy me a years supply of Viagra but wants to give me them one at a time over the span of a year.
Well I didn't want to hang around waiting for guests to arrive , so I took a quick trip to a place where they really know how to celebrate. In a little town across the border called Pattaya. I took a walk along Soi 6 and there were lots of legs , bums and boobs on display but because my glasses fogged up so much I couldn't tell which were fake and which were lady-persons, so I ventured along beach road where prices and commodities were more in line with what old age pensioners like me could afford. There were probable only
a dozen girls along the whole strip, and I singled out a beauty, but before I could get to her some prick beat me, so I hung around sitting on the steps waiting. When he moved off, I made my move only to be beaten by someone else. If only I had a walking stick I would have been quicker off the mark.
Decided to go back to Soi 7 where I was staying, and sat down at the bar. Picking up a girl here would be easy and I only had to walk up two flights of steps to my room.
I waited 30 minuets watching the girls putting on make-up , chatting to each other , playing on their phones, and not one of them said '' hello hansom man, you want beer, you want lady, where you from, how long you stay ''. I recon I would have had more luck if I spoke Russian or dressed and acted like a Arab. It def had nothing to do with my smelly feet , body odor or beer belly.
Hey, you know your getting old when you go to sin city and cannot get laid.
Anyway I looking forward to my 80 th birthday party. With the way technology is going I'll be able to put on a virtual reality head set , flick the switch an in a instant have
one hundred naked girls at my party.
Well it was quite exciting celebrating my 70 th birthday, as I have never had a 70 th birthday before and probably never celebrate it again, although I can remember celebrating my 21 st birthday several years in a row. I had sent out invites cards to all my friends to come to the party but it came back , '' gone, address unknown '' so I plan on being much better organized for my 80 th birthday celebration, I''ll just send invites out to my enemies. In fact I may get 1000 card printed and start sending them out next week so everyone will not have an excuse to not attend. I probably have to get another 1000 printed in the next ten years , cause as everyone knows, your list of enemies grows a lot faster than your list of friends.
I'm a bit pissed off at the delivery guy at the post office right now as he hasn't delivered my birthday cards and pressies you guys have sent, but not to wurry, he's probably still in the village celebrating Khmer new year, so I guess they will all be arriving this week.
Hope no-one has bought me a wheelchair or walking stick for a pressie. One girl I know at Wat Phnom has said she will buy me a years supply of Viagra but wants to give me them one at a time over the span of a year.
Well I didn't want to hang around waiting for guests to arrive , so I took a quick trip to a place where they really know how to celebrate. In a little town across the border called Pattaya. I took a walk along Soi 6 and there were lots of legs , bums and boobs on display but because my glasses fogged up so much I couldn't tell which were fake and which were lady-persons, so I ventured along beach road where prices and commodities were more in line with what old age pensioners like me could afford. There were probable only
a dozen girls along the whole strip, and I singled out a beauty, but before I could get to her some prick beat me, so I hung around sitting on the steps waiting. When he moved off, I made my move only to be beaten by someone else. If only I had a walking stick I would have been quicker off the mark.
Decided to go back to Soi 7 where I was staying, and sat down at the bar. Picking up a girl here would be easy and I only had to walk up two flights of steps to my room.
I waited 30 minuets watching the girls putting on make-up , chatting to each other , playing on their phones, and not one of them said '' hello hansom man, you want beer, you want lady, where you from, how long you stay ''. I recon I would have had more luck if I spoke Russian or dressed and acted like a Arab. It def had nothing to do with my smelly feet , body odor or beer belly.
Hey, you know your getting old when you go to sin city and cannot get laid.
Anyway I looking forward to my 80 th birthday party. With the way technology is going I'll be able to put on a virtual reality head set , flick the switch an in a instant have
one hundred naked girls at my party.
