Love, Death and Difference
Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2014 1:35 am
Just visiting with a VN girl here in the States I knew a bit in Cambodia. Used to talk to her and her barang beau in Sharky's a few years back. 25-year gap between them. They married, had a kid, she travelled the world with him to his various postings, returning to Cambodia in between contracts for R&R. My wife just happened to find her on FB while we were here in the States, talked to her a bit, turned out she was sort of nearby so we drove over to see them.
Turns out her husband died almost three years ago at 59. He was perfectly healthy, one day had a bit of pain in his gut, went to the doctor and turned up with pancreatic cancer. He was dead three weeks later. Left her very well fixed - two houses in the States, a very hefty bank account, a couple of luxury cars, SSI coming in every month for the kid. Financially, she is set for life. She had her green card, and worked to get her citizenship, which she did. She told me the story of his death and all that they had done, choking on her words, fighting back tears unsuccessfully. A photo of him sits on the table in her living room. Two years after his death her friends tried fixing her up with other guys, not that she needed a new man for financial reasons, but she didn't like any of them. About a year ago she started dating some new guy, 20+ years her senior. Now they live together. He has a young kid from a previous marriage and she is working to raise both hers and his now, as well as going to nursing school (and, of course, moonlighting doing nails.) She says she's beginning to relax a little again, doesn't think about her dead husband so much anymore, but still misses him terribly when her 4am courage fails her.
Love comes in many forms. Sometimes sorry to see the judgmental assholes the West breeds, full of themselves and contempt for anybody who doesn't see and do things their narrow way.
(inspired by the dowry thread in that other place.)
Turns out her husband died almost three years ago at 59. He was perfectly healthy, one day had a bit of pain in his gut, went to the doctor and turned up with pancreatic cancer. He was dead three weeks later. Left her very well fixed - two houses in the States, a very hefty bank account, a couple of luxury cars, SSI coming in every month for the kid. Financially, she is set for life. She had her green card, and worked to get her citizenship, which she did. She told me the story of his death and all that they had done, choking on her words, fighting back tears unsuccessfully. A photo of him sits on the table in her living room. Two years after his death her friends tried fixing her up with other guys, not that she needed a new man for financial reasons, but she didn't like any of them. About a year ago she started dating some new guy, 20+ years her senior. Now they live together. He has a young kid from a previous marriage and she is working to raise both hers and his now, as well as going to nursing school (and, of course, moonlighting doing nails.) She says she's beginning to relax a little again, doesn't think about her dead husband so much anymore, but still misses him terribly when her 4am courage fails her.
Love comes in many forms. Sometimes sorry to see the judgmental assholes the West breeds, full of themselves and contempt for anybody who doesn't see and do things their narrow way.
(inspired by the dowry thread in that other place.)
