Buying the cow

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Tarndog
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Buying the cow

Post by Tarndog » Tue Mar 19, 2019 3:47 pm

Ok ok. Probably a bad title, and in no way did I mean to offend Khmer women.

But seriously, my question is about getting married with a Khmer woman. I've heard dozens and dozens of horror stories, most which I accept as true.

Those stories horrify me. First, it'd be virtually impossible, if not impossible, to find her if she pulled a runner after getting the dowry. Second, can the Khmer pomp and circumstance (photos in queer clothing, obnoxiously loud music,l etc. ) be avoided?

Third, ensuring the wedding guests' offerings aren't mysteriously redirected.

If you get past that, what about day-to-day living? Had anyone who's done this been successful getting her family to butt out of your lives, or do they always seem to interfere? I would imagine it'd be virtually impossible for a Khmer girl/woman to go against her parents' instruction.

Well, have at it! I'm sure this community can give me oodles of helpful advice on what to do and what not to do.
Last edited by Tarndog on Tue Mar 19, 2019 4:00 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Duncan
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Re: Buying the cow

Post by Duncan » Tue Mar 19, 2019 3:56 pm

Tarndog wrote:
Tue Mar 19, 2019 3:47 pm
Ok ok. Probably a bad title, and in no way did I mean to offend Khmer women.

But seriously, my question is about getting married with a Khmer woman. I've heard dozens and dozens of horror stories, most which I accept as true.

Those stories horrify me. First, it'd be virtually impossible, if not impossible, to find her if she pulled a runner after getting the dowry. Second, can the Khmer pomp and circumstance (photos in queer clothing, obnoxiously loud music,l etc. ) be avoided?

Third, ensuring the wedding guests' offerings aren't mysteriously rejected.

If you get past that, what about day-to-day living? Had anyone who's done this been successful getting her family to butt out of your lives, or do they always seem to interfere? I would imagine it'd be virtually impossible for a Khmer girl/woman to go against her parents' instruction.

Well, have at it! I'm sure this community can give me oodles of helpful advice on what to do and what not to do.


Your not ready for marriage if you dont understand that your not marrying a Khmer girl/woman ,, your marrying a Khmer family.
Cambodia,,,, Don't fall in love with her.
Like the spoilt child she is, she will not be happy till she destroys herself from within and breaks your heart.
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yong
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Re: Buying the cow

Post by yong » Tue Mar 19, 2019 4:15 pm

Tarndog wrote:
Tue Mar 19, 2019 3:47 pm
Ok ok. Probably a bad title, and in no way did I mean to offend Khmer women.

But seriously, my question is about getting married with a Khmer woman. I've heard dozens and dozens of horror stories, most which I accept as true.

Those stories horrify me. First, it'd be virtually impossible, if not impossible, to find her if she pulled a runner after getting the dowry. Second, can the Khmer pomp and circumstance (photos in queer clothing, obnoxiously loud music,l etc. ) be avoided?

Third, ensuring the wedding guests' offerings aren't mysteriously redirected.

If you get past that, what about day-to-day living? Had anyone who's done this been successful getting her family to butt out of your lives, or do they always seem to interfere? I would imagine it'd be virtually impossible for a Khmer girl/woman to go against her parents' instruction.

Well, have at it! I'm sure this community can give me oodles of helpful advice on what to do and what not to do.
Sathu Sathu my brethren, go marry a western woman, it is good for you, sathu :bow:
Chamboy
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Re: Buying the cow

Post by Chamboy » Tue Mar 19, 2019 4:18 pm

My experience=right woman but wrong country.
explorer
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Re: Buying the cow

Post by explorer » Tue Mar 19, 2019 4:53 pm

If you want to get married to a Cambodian girl.

Start by getting to know decent girls, like university students or girls with a job. Dont even think about bar girls.

Being intelligent is very important. Dont waste your time with a girl you cant have an intelligent conversation with.

Children learn a lot from their parents. Good girls normally have good parents.

Get to know a lot of them, and see if you meet one you like.

If you meet one you like, just be friends for maybe a couple of years. Girls put on an act to impress the boyfriend. You need to see the real girl when she is not putting on the act. (For example, I knew a really nice girl. After some time I realized she was lying to me. I no longer thought of her as a nice girl.)

If you get that far, and get on well with her, discuss all of the issues which may be of concern in the future. (For example, I would discuss the idea of saving money together. Not have a relationship where I give and she takes.) There are many other issues I would discuss.

I would also try to live a normal life, where she continues to work, but maybe stops when having children.

I would also discuss how the wedding would be run. I would not just follow her dictates, but come up with something we are both happy with. Maybe have some things from Western weddings and some things from Cambodian weddings.

I would not even consider marrying a girl without going through that.

In Australia, people often date for a year or two, or even more, before getting married. Why shouldnt you do the same in Cambodia?

There are some very nice girls in Cambodia. It seems many foreigners dont meet them.
## I thought I knew all the answers, but they changed all the questions. ##
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Kammekor
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Re: Buying the cow

Post by Kammekor » Tue Mar 19, 2019 4:57 pm

Tarndog wrote:
Tue Mar 19, 2019 3:47 pm
Ok ok. Probably a bad title, and in no way did I mean to offend Khmer women.

But seriously, my question is about getting married with a Khmer woman. I've heard dozens and dozens of horror stories, most which I accept as true.

Those stories horrify me. First, it'd be virtually impossible, if not impossible, to find her if she pulled a runner after getting the dowry. Second, can the Khmer pomp and circumstance (photos in queer clothing, obnoxiously loud music,l etc. ) be avoided?

Third, ensuring the wedding guests' offerings aren't mysteriously redirected.

If you get past that, what about day-to-day living? Had anyone who's done this been successful getting her family to butt out of your lives, or do they always seem to interfere? I would imagine it'd be virtually impossible for a Khmer girl/woman to go against her parents' instruction.

Well, have at it! I'm sure this community can give me oodles of helpful advice on what to do and what not to do.
Take 500$ to the ministery of MoFA and 500$ to the ministry of interior before even considering a wedding party.

My 2 cents.

Or you might lose a lot of face and a lot of money on just the party, not even talking about what marriage might cost you.
Chamboy
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Re: Buying the cow

Post by Chamboy » Tue Mar 19, 2019 5:13 pm

"Being intelligent is very important. Dont waste your time with a girl you cant have an intelligent conversation with."

Oh, the irony.
armchairlawyer
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Re: Buying the cow

Post by armchairlawyer » Tue Mar 19, 2019 5:31 pm

Chamboy wrote:
Tue Mar 19, 2019 5:13 pm
"Being intelligent is very important. Dont waste your time with a girl you cant have an intelligent conversation with."

Oh, the irony.
I think he meant Kant discussions. I love debating the merits of transcendental idealism and The Critique of Pure Reason with Khmer girls.

With my gf, however, I stick to practical stuff like what she is cooking for dinner today.
Chamboy
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Re: Buying the cow

Post by Chamboy » Tue Mar 19, 2019 5:38 pm

Jesus, you too? Primarily we focus on comparative literature with an emphasis on the true symbolism of the poetry of Mallarme and Valery.
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Sidewalker
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Re: Buying the cow

Post by Sidewalker » Tue Mar 19, 2019 5:45 pm

Chamboy wrote:
Tue Mar 19, 2019 5:13 pm
"Being intelligent is very important. Dont waste your time with a girl you cant have an intelligent conversation with."

Oh, the irony.
I think the question is: Can he have a intelligent conservation with a intelligent Khmer girl? :stir:
There are people who cannot imagine that there are other ways of life than their own life. :facepalm:
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