Updated nursery rhymes for the 21st century

kiwiincambodia · Post by **kiwiincambodia** » Wed Dec 09, 2015 8:52 pm

I saw this on Facebook and thought it was quite clever.

I wonder if my kids would realize if I used this version instead?

Post by **Username Taken** » Wed Dec 09, 2015 9:50 pm

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick.
Jack jumped over the candlestick.
Jack wasnt nimble, Jack wasnt quick.
Jack's in the hospital with a burned up dick.

(Row Row Row Your Boat)
Roll, roll, roll your joint
twist it at the end, take a puff,
that's enough and pass it to a friend.

Jack and Jill went up the hill
so Jack could lick her candy
But Jack got a shock
and a mouth full of cock
Cause Jill's real name is randy

HICKERY DICKERY DOC
THIS BITCH WAS SUCKIN MY COCK
THE CLOCK STRUCK TWO
I DUMPED MY GOO
AND DUMPED HER AT THE END OF THE BLOCK.

Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupbard to fetch her poor dog a bone.
But when she bent over,
Rover took over
And the bitch got a bone of her own!

little druggy sat in her buggy
smoking a joint of weed
along came a spider
who sat down beside her
and sold her a kilo of speed

Red Ops · Post by **Red Ops** » Thu Dec 10, 2015 7:12 am

Baa baa meth sheep
Have you any ice?
Yes blud yes blud yes blud thrice
One for the punter
One for the whore
And one for the freshy boy
In the lane to score.