Day 1. Kuta.

Larry’s a huge man. I imagine if he was having a bad day you wouldn’t ask him if he’d been banned from the “All you can eat buffet” - he’d only have to cough to knock you out. Fortunately, Larry was deep into what appears to be a favorite pastime - midday karaoke with a few Bintangs.

It’s a quirky little place this bar I don't know the name of. A gang of aging Aussies spread through the room like a sea of sweaty bottle corks in singlets swinging from a bush hat, everyone bobbing around to Slim Dusty-like songs being sung by Larry who slugs a third of his Bintang between verses.

This motley crew of knockabouts know each other from years of going to Bali it seems. A bloke covered in tattoos carrying a limp shuffles in to the hails of “G’day, Dougie” and “Cut this bastard off”, and “You look a bit rough, mate”, everyone breaking into bellows of laughter as if watching a Paul Hogan special for the first time. Dougie does look like he’s had a bit of rough night - “Two for Dougie, Wayan” is yelled from somewhere and everyone just about fair dinkum loses their shit, maaate.

Larry finishes his Aussie outback song along with his beer when an argument breaks out over the remote and whose singing what next. Liz wins and swears it wasn't her who just farted.

I’m going to hang around because I’ve got nothing better to do until the bus to Ubud.

Surely they call him Lazza

Day1.Kuta Pt 2.

Liz who doesn’t fart (read the entry above) was telling me she bought a cubic meter of container space that soon sets sail for Australia full of her recent attempt at global domination of the cheap hand bag market, all hand stitched from Bali - these overpriced tacky fashion accessories to accompany the few hundred unsold pieces she retains from her last trip that she keeps in the shed at home. Liz has great tits.

It’s now 10.45pm and the bus to Ubud has long sailed.- I’ve missed it by about eight hours. I’m back at the hotel and re-booked for another night - I’m a bit socially lubricated. I’ve got to to change my shorts because the cheap ass traveler I am couldn’t be fucked paying more than a thimble full of toe nail clippings and pinch of navel hair for the pair of crap shorts I bought in Bangkok a few weeks ago - the zip has broken.

I watched most of the bar’s local expat crowd come and go today over the last twelve hours, the tab of seventeen Bintangs lined up against the ledge evidence that if you’ve entertained a little naughtiness in your time, your constitution seems to remember - muscle memory, I guess. I haven’t felt like getting off the chain in a while.

I fancy going back out for a whiskey but run the risk of missing the morning bus to Ubud as well as today's lost voyage. Not sure how long the bus company will honor the ticket, but a few Johnnies to cap the night will probably prevail. Fingers crossed the hungover ride up the hill tomorrow is vomit free. Been a while since I’ve been up for it.

Yeah, I know, it’s dross, but, well,..

Ever feel you've done everything you want and now you're just passing time?

Kung-fu Hillbilly wrote: ↑Sat Mar 09, 2024 10:06 pm Day1.Kuta Pt 2.

Liz who doesn’t fart, has great tits.

Ever feel you've done everything you want and now you're just passing time?

But why stick with the herd ?
Finding a non-farting local with great tits and no Bintang t-shirt sounds like a better challenge, somehow, no ?

Ghostwriter wrote: ↑Sun Mar 10, 2024 12:22 am

Kung-fu Hillbilly wrote: ↑Sat Mar 09, 2024 10:06 pm Day1.Kuta Pt 2.

Liz who doesn’t fart, has great tits.

Ever feel you've done everything you want and now you're just passing time?

But why stick with the herd ?
Finding a non-farting local with great tits and no Bintang t-shirt sounds like a better challenge, somehow, no ?

You think I'm part of the herd because I'm killing time waiting for a bus? I

Ah, must have skipped that bit.
I was wondering why so static....

Ghostwriter wrote: ↑Sun Mar 10, 2024 2:23 am Ah, must have skipped that bit.
I was wondering why so static....

WTF are you talking about? I'm static??

Over the last six months I've documented on CEO ex gangsters who run cafes in Kathmandu, blind and veiled family traditions in Rajasthan,India, an ongoing travel journey taking the sometimes most uncomfortable forms of transport you can find on the Asian continent, getting pissed with aging Aussie expats in Bali... and a whole lot more that discretion prohibits me from admitting...and I'm "static"?

Fuck me, the bar you raise is a pretty fucking high one, Ghostwriter.

Do regale me with anything you've managed to drag your sorry ass to do in the last five fuckin' years that offers any insight into the world beyond throwing stones from the sidelines at others who are actually doing shit!

I'm static? Fuck off.

Whoah, i didn't mean static on your whole years, just on the moment described in your text.
Relax ^^
A bit edgy eh ? Hopefully you got your bus.

Your vlogs in the Gili's were good, the ones in Nepal and India, excellent. Kuta bogans'...let's call it a blip, shall we. Looking forward to Ubud.