Seeking advice

Fridaywithmateo · Post by **Fridaywithmateo** » Tue Mar 05, 2024 6:22 pm

Sometimes word-of-mouth advertising is best, me thinks.

BaltimoreJack · Post by **BaltimoreJack** » Tue Mar 05, 2024 6:50 pm

DavidMurphy wrote: ↑Mon Mar 04, 2024 12:16 pm Over 12 years. I wake at 4:30, exercise, coffee and rice soup. Back to the room for a herbal cigarette.

DavidMurphy wrote: ↑Mon Mar 04, 2024 12:16 pmA smart 44 year old country boy from a poor family who rode a cyclo for years, then bought a motorbike, then a tuk tuk, now a minivan. The man fed me, clothed me and lent me money. Now, we are best friends (understandably).

This all sounds a little gay.

newkidontheblock · Post by **newkidontheblock** » Tue Mar 05, 2024 7:01 pm

BaltimoreJack wrote:
DavidMurphy wrote: ↑Mon Mar 04, 2024 12:16 pm Over 12 years. I wake at 4:30, exercise, coffee and rice soup. Back to the room for a herbal cigarette.

DavidMurphy wrote: ↑Mon Mar 04, 2024 12:16 pmA smart 44 year old country boy from a poor family who rode a cyclo for years, then bought a motorbike, then a tuk tuk, now a minivan. The man fed me, clothed me and lent me money. Now, we are best friends (understandably).

This all sounds a little gay.

It’s a Khmer trait.
The guy obviously took pity on him and helped him out with what little he had.

One of the enduring good things about Cambodians.

xandreu · Post by **xandreu** » Tue Mar 05, 2024 11:59 pm

DavidMurphy wrote: ↑Tue Mar 05, 2024 5:48 pm
xandreu wrote: ↑Tue Mar 05, 2024 4:47 pm
RedBull wrote: ↑Tue Mar 05, 2024 7:22 am
xandreu wrote: ↑Tue Mar 05, 2024 5:03 am
RedBull wrote: ↑Mon Mar 04, 2024 10:51 am Hahah. Yeah, sorry. But haha
Just out of curiosity, an no animosity meant at all, I swear, but an honest question - how does it make you feel when you reply like that to a post about a guy that lost everything and ended up sleeping on the streets?

I'm not looking for an argument, I'm merely fascinated about why people feel the need to respond in this way. What do they get out of it?
I get your point and feeling. I agree, it's not the nicest reply I ever posted. But I assume we're all grown ups here and for that reason I find it interesting that you manage to end up in a situation like this.

Things like this happens to gullible teenagers, unaware of the "real world" that's out there. So yeah, judge me for it, but I do find it funny that a grown ass man ends up in a situation like this.

I'm not a saint, obviously, but come on.
But what was the reason you felt the need to post it? As I said, genuine question with no angst meant. Whatever happened to the guy has already happened. I’m sure he’s already learned a few lessons from it. When you clicked ‘submit’, how did it make you feel? Pleased with yourself? If so, why? A bit of shame and regret? Did you think twice about it after you posted it? Maybe you don’t consider that there’s a real life human on the other side of the words, which is a common phenomenon. You wouldn’t be the first to think that.

I’m genuinely curious as to what drives people to post comments like that. I’m desperately trying not to say anything judgmental as my aim isn’t to cause conflict. It’s to try to understand your thought processes and others who act like you online.
Xandrew, it's not an issue, brother.
The reason I included my back story was twofold. 1. To draw attention to the thread, thereby tempting more responses. 2. As a warning for other members. All you have can disappear in an instant due to one ill-considered action.
I'm not proud and kinda expected ridicule too but frankly, I don't GAF.
I can laugh at my predicament now too, because I recovered quickly.
Nuff said. Have a good one, brother!

Fair enough. But I wasn't necessarily asking on a personal level specifically about your post, although I know I did mention it. I was just using it as an example because it intrigues me how some people act online and why they do it. Not in a judgemental way, I'm more interested in the human nature factor. What is it about the internet that seems to draw out this type of behaviour in people?

I guess there's also a part of me that thinks that by asking them in a non-confrontational way, they may ask themselves why they do it. Something I don't think many people do.

DavidMurphy · Post by **DavidMurphy** » Wed Mar 06, 2024 3:47 am

BaltimoreJack wrote: ↑Tue Mar 05, 2024 6:50 pm
DavidMurphy wrote: ↑Mon Mar 04, 2024 12:16 pm Over 12 years. I wake at 4:30, exercise, coffee and rice soup. Back to the room for a herbal cigarette.

DavidMurphy wrote: ↑Mon Mar 04, 2024 12:16 pmA smart 44 year old country boy from a poor family who rode a cyclo for years, then bought a motorbike, then a tuk tuk, now a minivan. The man fed me, clothed me and lent me money. Now, we are best friends (understandably).

This all sounds a little gay.

I recommend you PM member Redbull. You guys seem to be on the same page, ie: similar intellect and similar world view. How many weeks have you been in Cambodia?
Don't get involved in discussions between adults that are beyond your grasp, sweet cheeks. You might get your fragile ego dented. What then?

newkidontheblock · Post by **newkidontheblock** » Wed Mar 06, 2024 6:57 pm

A good woman will make a man. A bad one will kill a man. OP unfortunately had the latter. And survived. And is clawing his way back.

Why shovel dirt on him and is instead wish him a good return to life?

khmerhamster · Post by **khmerhamster** » Wed Mar 06, 2024 7:44 pm

I read this thread with interest.

Perhaps there is a lesson in there for some, if you are like the OP and are living month to month, perhaps cut out the booze for a couple of months and build up a small cash safety net reserve. Or maybe build a few friendships that could cover you in an emergency and wouldn't have you sleeping on the street.

It was a theft this time, but next time could be another theft, an illness, an accident or something else from left field.

cabron · Post by **cabron** » Wed Mar 06, 2024 8:26 pm

newkidontheblock wrote: ↑Wed Mar 06, 2024 6:57 pm A good woman will make a man. A bad one will kill a man. OP unfortunately had the latter. And survived. And is clawing his way back.

Why shovel dirt on him and is instead wish him a good return to life?

Good recommendation.

Marx · Post by **Marx** » Thu Mar 07, 2024 11:45 am

I suppose we should search in our hearts for compassion for the OP: this idiot, blundering through life, mind fogged by alcohol and weed and the eternal promises of pretty strangers that there might be a more meaningful future. When photos of some derelict male in his late fifties, terminally decaying in Cambodia, make the rounds, people always ask ‘how did it come to that?’ The OP is part of the answer to that question, a snapshot of progress. We should certainly have compassion for the woman, who sees herself obliged by force of circumstances to share the beds of strange, foreign men who she neither likes nor respects, with no hope that any of them will look much beyond the contours of her body. Does anyone seriously imagine that she is happy at what her life has come to?

On the other side of our compassion, however easy or difficult it is to arrive at, is this: My wife, despite (or perhaps because of) her steadfast tread on the Eightfold Path, is truly incensed when westerners claim refuge in Cambodia’s temples. Why? Because they are built and maintained on the sweat and labour and hopes and fears of the poor, and using them to sleep off a particular bad hangover (or a series of poor life choices…) is deeply insulting, so she and her family see it. ‘They should go home to do that’. And, I must assume, many others like her see it that way, it’s possibly why the monks send westerners on after two nights, to avoid antagonising their local supporters too much. How many Khmer people really do want to give a bowl of rice to a paddy who’s had a bad run-in with a bar girl?

And, those of us who are very dependent on the goodwill of those in charge of the visa rules, must always hope that they practice benevolent oversight when it comes to those westerners who arrive here with next to nothing and no plan, and what financial crumbs they do distribute end up chiefly in the pockets of those who aren’t contributing much to the healthy and peaceful growth of this country. We foreigners are always judged to some extent by the behaviour, good or otherwise, of our compatriots, and what we all therefore need are people who bring solutions and not problems with them.

DavidMurphy · Post by **DavidMurphy** » Thu Mar 07, 2024 10:45 pm

Marx wrote: ↑Thu Mar 07, 2024 11:45 am I suppose we should search in our hearts for compassion for the OP: this idiot, blundering through life, mind fogged by alcohol and weed and the eternal promises of pretty strangers that there might be a more meaningful future. When photos of some derelict male in his late fifties, terminally decaying in Cambodia, make the rounds, people always ask ‘how did it come to that?’ The OP is part of the answer to that question, a snapshot of progress. We should certainly have compassion for the woman, who sees herself obliged by force of circumstances to share the beds of strange, foreign men who she neither likes nor respects, with no hope that any of them will look much beyond the contours of her body. Does anyone seriously imagine that she is happy at what her life has come to?

On the other side of our compassion, however easy or difficult it is to arrive at, is this: My wife, despite (or perhaps because of) her steadfast tread on the Eightfold Path, is truly incensed when westerners claim refuge in Cambodia’s temples. Why? Because they are built and maintained on the sweat and labour and hopes and fears of the poor, and using them to sleep off a particular bad hangover (or a series of poor life choices…) is deeply insulting, so she and her family see it. ‘They should go home to do that’. And, I must assume, many others like her see it that way, it’s possibly why the monks send westerners on after two nights, to avoid antagonising their local supporters too much. How many Khmer people really do want to give a bowl of rice to a paddy who’s had a bad run-in with a bar girl?

And, those of us who are very dependent on the goodwill of those in charge of the visa rules, must always hope that they practice benevolent oversight when it comes to those westerners who arrive here with next to nothing and no plan, and what financial crumbs they do distribute end up chiefly in the pockets of those who aren’t contributing much to the healthy and peaceful growth of this country. We foreigners are always judged to some extent by the behaviour, good or otherwise, of our compatriots, and what we all therefore need are people who bring solutions and not problems with them.

Pietic, dogmatic, racist and judgemental, to say the least. If you're going to call me a Paddy, at least use a capital 'P'. I might assume that you're British (and illeducated, judging by your racism, self-righteousness and syntax). Daily Mail reader?
You do make some good points, though.
I slept on benches in temple gardens. Didn't ask for food or water. Wasn't offered any by the monks.
Three instances of kindness will remain with me until I leave this mortal domain.
A retired Jewish construction manager from Chicago asked some questions, went away with his tuk tuk driver, that he'd hired for a week, then returned with cash. I ate well for two days. Reciprocating, I advised him to get a new driver because I judged the current driver to be a complete conman.
At another temple, a middle class Khmer father was making merit with his family, asked some questions, then drove off. Two hours later, he returned with three containers of food.
He said, "My wife cooked this for you."
At a third temple, a wee girl from the primary school next door asked some questions. She then went to her classmates to collect donations and returned with the cash.
They went without candy that day.
I got myself food, water and coffee.
Her name was Srey Nit.
Nice people.
Have a good day, sir!

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