Your annoying westerner ways.

Kung-fu Hillbilly · Post by **Kung-fu Hillbilly** » Wed Feb 07, 2024 5:40 pm

Disclaimer as there’s been a bit of day drinking.

Chatting to a couple of guys at a bar earlier today we were talking about what (Asian) partners found difficult in their relationships with westerners/ourselves.

One guy said he learned to keep conversations with his girl restricted to basic family, local community, and day to day stuff because going beyond these subjects into topics of the larger world would sometimes elicit a response along the lines of “You think you know everything.”

An ex of mine thought I worried too much about being places on time - she also said I planned too much.

Anything in your western ways that an Asian partner found annoying?

Post by **Freightdog** » Wed Feb 07, 2024 6:21 pm

Logical reasoning. Sequences of events. Cause and effect. Bank balances. Education. Medicine. Critical thinking.
All the things that are likely to stop me worrying about how long my pension will last…

Scientists have posited that time as we understand it is not a constant, but they really should have asked a Cambodian for their input. The rest of the money already spent on research could have been put to good use on a decent piss up, instead.

Chuck Borris · Post by **Chuck Borris** » Wed Feb 07, 2024 6:26 pm

"You tink to mut.!

newkidontheblock · Post by **newkidontheblock** » Wed Feb 07, 2024 6:50 pm

Kung-fu Hillbilly wrote:Disclaimer as there’s been a bit of day drinking.

Chatting to a couple of guys at a bar earlier today we were talking about what (Asian) partners found difficult in their relationships with westerners/ourselves.

One guy said he learned to keep conversations with his girl restricted to basic family, local community, and day to day stuff because going beyond these subjects into topics of the larger world would sometimes elicit a response along the lines of “You think you know everything.”

An ex of mine thought I worried too much about being places on time - she also said I planned too much.

Anything in your western ways that an Asian partner found annoying?

Sounds like missus. She is always being accused of that. Being annoying be being punctual and expecting other Khmer to do the same, etc.

Always being encouraged to just hand over the money, not to overthink why or how does it actually help in the long run.

I always jokingly tell her she’s a foreigner who happened to be born in a village in Cambodia. It’s a wonderful life.

Post by **Freightdog** » Wed Feb 07, 2024 7:26 pm

Chuck Borris wrote: ↑Wed Feb 07, 2024 6:26 pm "You tink to mut.!

Goes hand in hand with
You tok too mut!

My respon-
Neak at listen enuf!!

Actually, in general I’ve discovered many of these traits increasingly exist everywhere. It’s just that in Cambodia many people have adopted all of them.

phuketrichard · Post by **phuketrichard** » Wed Feb 07, 2024 7:52 pm

"Anything in your western ways that an Asian partner found annoying?"

concerned about tomorrow
rather than
que sera sera

IraHayes · Post by **IraHayes** » Wed Feb 07, 2024 9:11 pm

While I am smiling in agreement with most of the replies as they seem to capture the general characteristics of the average Cambodian I feel I must point out that there are the exceptions to the rule.
Every once in a while you come across someone who stands out just because they don't have the same attitudes and thoughts that most do.
To whit, my example.
There is a Cambodian lady teacher friend I have known for a number of years who stands out and I first noticed it when we were planning a trip for our two families a couple of years back. We were heading to the Wildlife sanctuary. She arranged the minibus transport and the arrangement she set was that he would go to her house first and pick us up on the way through PP. Now at that point she had never been to our house so the weekend before she took the time to ride past our house and thus was able to set a pickup time for us based on when he was to be at her house and then add on the travel time from hers to our place. She didnt just use her known travel time by moto but a slightly longer time as the minibus would be slower through traffic. As it turned out the pickup time she set was correct to within 5 minutes.

The thought she took to plan this part of the trip really stuck with me as she was unusually perceptive in her planning.

Anyway, I'm sure while we can all agree "most" locals lack many of the basic tenets that would be considered normal for a person in a well functioning society in the west out here there are exceptions and these people tend to stand out to us.

Alex · Post by **Alex** » Wed Feb 07, 2024 9:16 pm

Kung-fu Hillbilly wrote: ↑Wed Feb 07, 2024 5:40 pm One guy said he learned to keep conversations with his girl restricted to basic family, local community, and day to day stuff because going beyond these subjects into topics of the larger world would sometimes elicit a response along the lines of “You think you know everything.”

Isn't the reason in that case mostly a discrepancy in education levels between those partners? As many Westerners essentially date farm girls, that doesn't really come as a major surprise.

IraHayes · Post by **IraHayes** » Wed Feb 07, 2024 9:27 pm

Alex wrote: ↑Wed Feb 07, 2024 9:16 pm
Kung-fu Hillbilly wrote: ↑Wed Feb 07, 2024 5:40 pm One guy said he learned to keep conversations with his girl restricted to basic family, local community, and day to day stuff because going beyond these subjects into topics of the larger world would sometimes elicit a response along the lines of “You think you know everything.”
Isn't the reason in that case mostly a discrepancy in education levels between those partners? As many Westerners essentially date farm girls, that doesn't really come as a major surprise.

And 4 college students in the US couldn't answer a simple maths question. I could see those westerners here that "essentially date farm girls" having the same problems when trying to converse with them.

xandreu · Post by **xandreu** » Wed Feb 07, 2024 9:35 pm

When I first moved here, as is the same for most of us, it was a bit of a culture shock to find that many of the things I was always bought up to think of as important, seemed to just get shrugged off here. Things such as being on time, showing a bit of etiquette on the roads, having a basic knowledge of world affairs, (or even domestic affairs to be fair), intervening in matters which aren't directly related to you but you do so in order to somehow 'put something right', etc...

On the surface, matters such as this can make Khmers seem a bit ignorant, selfish or just uneducated, but, and perhaps I've been here too long, I've slowly found myself coming around to their way of thinking in many aspects. Many of things that I used to think 'mattered', when viewed through the lens of a Khmer, don't actually matter as much as us westerners are raised to think.

You can't deny that in general, Khmers some of the most laid back, relaxed, easy-going people on the planet, and I think it's largely down to the fact that they generally only care about things that really matter, and don't waste a second of their lives to things that don't. Us westerners do have a habit of fretting over things we have no control over anyway. I think Khmers are much better at realising when something isn't worth bothering with.

When I first came here, I was pretty shocked at some of their culture, but now I often find myself wondering if actually, they're the one's with the right mindset - not always, mind you.

Your annoying westerner ways.

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