BaltimoreJack wrote:

newkidontheblock wrote: ↑Tue Aug 15, 2023 3:52 am She has a brain tumor. Now scrambling to get a brain surgeon and make arrangements.

Then getting a emergency PTO.
Then getting funds.

About a million things to do.

Meanwhile missus is turning into a pile of jello.

You don't need "emergency PTO" if you are eligible for FMLA leave."

You need to say "I want FMLA leave, please give me the forms."

If you take FMLA lave your job is protected, you can't be fired in retaliation, and they have to keep your job open for you until you return.

If you request PTO it can be denied or you can be retaliated against or fired for taking it.

Ask for FMLA leave. Yes, FMLA leave is unpaid but most companies will run your PTO concurrently with FMLA leave until the PTO is exhausted, so you'll be paid for all the paid time off you're eligible for regardless.

Note that FMLA leave can be taken "intermittently" i.e. you can keep working there are just take off a day a a time (or possibly a half day or few hours at a time, if they allow that of PTO requesters, I forget the exact rules on that).

They can't lawfully say "Der, you get 12 weeks of FMLA leave but you have to take it all at once, we'll see you in November."

Yes, this is a good idea.

But I need the paycheck. A lot of savings were spent on Cambodia (with all these problems coming back as a result). I always keep some of my meager PTO time in reserve (learned from COVID) and then FMLA if needed. Hopefully a week of PTO to cover surgery, hospital, recovery, and then home, if all goes well in a high risk surgery. Parents are in Taiwan and will returning on Friday. We haven’t told them of her going, or coming back with all these problems, so hopefully the news won’t shock them too badly. I can always have her stay with them if she still needs someone there all the time afterwards.

Financially, calling in the hospital indemnity plan, and possibly retirement accounts might need to be raided, depending on how much this will all cost. Cashing out retirement costs 50% tax, so not so good. There’s always the option of a second mortgage, but there’s isn’t much that’s not already owed to the bank.

The big question after surgery is follow up. Will she need chemo and radiation? She will need a neurologist, possibly an endocrinologist, possibly an oncologist, too. That’s on top of all the others - psych, counselor, GI, primary, she’s currently seeing.

Lady across the street and donut shop’s husband has offered to help out with getting her to places.

Missus is a pile of gelatin saying she’s not ready for this and preparing to die.

Sorry for the absolute mess of thoughts.