newkidontheblock wrote: ↑Sun Aug 06, 2023 3:38 pm

DeparRudeAnts wrote:

newkidontheblock wrote: ↑Wed Aug 02, 2023 4:38 pm Traditionally, Khmer wife controls the finances and controls all family affairs. Husband hand over all money and gets put on an allowance. And has to do everything the wife tells him to do. Husband is allowed to do stuff with the wife’s permission.

If it’s an introduced (arranged), you are marrying two families. The families will have all the say.

If you are that close to your sisters and parents, they will change your wife into their thinking eventually. Especially if it’s a family marriage.

Have you checked out the girl’s social profile? Chatting is like a job interview. She may just be showing what she wants you to see.

My opinions, of course.

Good luck!

And he would know

The Khmer Dominatrix will control all your money, and keep the boot on your neck until your death seems like a good option. She’s the one everyone in the family and Khmer community looks up to and worships. It’s a trap, no treasure is worth that level of abuse.

And yes, since then, I control the money. The family funds took a beating and will take a while to rebuild. But it’s together for the bad times, not just the good.

That's more like it. I like how Khmer culture treats the sexes more as equals than a lot of other countries. But its going a bit too far when it comes to handing over all the money, and getting my allowance at the weekend. Especially when she has no control and a gambling habit. No thanks

newkidontheblock wrote: ↑Sun Aug 06, 2023 3:38 pm

DeparRudeAnts wrote:

newkidontheblock wrote: ↑Wed Aug 02, 2023 4:38 pm Traditionally, Khmer wife controls the finances and controls all family affairs. Husband hand over all money and gets put on an allowance. And has to do everything the wife tells him to do. Husband is allowed to do stuff with the wife’s permission.

If it’s an introduced (arranged), you are marrying two families. The families will have all the say.

If you are that close to your sisters and parents, they will change your wife into their thinking eventually. Especially if it’s a family marriage.

Have you checked out the girl’s social profile? Chatting is like a job interview. She may just be showing what she wants you to see.

My opinions, of course.

Good luck!

And he would know

The Khmer Dominatrix will control all your money, and keep the boot on your neck until your death seems like a good option. She’s the one everyone in the family and Khmer community looks up to and worships. It’s a trap, no treasure is worth that level of abuse.

And yes, since then, I control the money. The family funds took a beating and will take a while to rebuild. But it’s together for the bad times, not just the good.

I think you're onto something here and most people downplay this.

1) Woman thinks she will control all the money- that's just a bad idea.
2) Like you said an arranged marriage is an invitation for the whole family to get involved. Do you really want that level of drama and interference?

Good points.

The fuck is this nonsense. Just get a joint bank account that hold all of the money. When one of us needs money we use the debit card, there’s no control or permission required. I guess if buying something quite big you’d naturally chat about it first.

GMJS-CEO wrote: ↑Mon Aug 07, 2023 5:56 am The fuck is this nonsense. Just get a joint bank account that hold all of the money. When one of us needs money we use the debit card, there’s no control or permission required. I guess if buying something quite big you’d naturally chat about it first.

Maybe not ALL the money!
He's got the big wads..

I think a monthly transfer for both's expenses. Unless they're both working, then just have it paid into there

GMJS-CEO wrote: ↑Mon Aug 07, 2023 5:56 am The fuck is this nonsense. Just get a joint bank account that hold all of the money. When one of us needs money we use the debit card, there’s no control or permission required. I guess if buying something quite big you’d naturally chat about it first.

Same in many parts of the world.

The man is expected to be an irresponsible drunk at best. For this reason the woman will be in charge of economy and administration. That is so the kids will still have food and possibly even go to school while the man is passed out in a ditch somewhere.

So as a man you go to work, any money you make goes straight to the wife who will control the budgeting, and depending on your behavior and success you will get more or less to have fun with.

As a foreigner you may have a different experience though since you're expected to always have enough money no matter the level of irresponsible drunkenness.

newkidontheblock wrote: ↑Mon Aug 07, 2023 1:28 am
Good points.

The Dominatrix doesn’t think she controls all the money. She does, period. She asks the employer’s HR to send the paystubs to her as well as all family assets are in her name. She collects all the money and pays all the bills. She buys what she thinks you deserve. It’s her way and everyone willingly falls in line.

It doesn’t matter if the marriage arranged or not. If his Khmer family visits and stays at the house most of the time (and lives down the street or the next town), then whatever girl the OP chooses will eventually bend to their will.

West Coast is more permissive about having one’s own identity, not so much in the more conservative East Coast.

28 years old is a spinster for a woman in Cambodia, but not so for a man.

Just my opinions on various threads, of course.
[/quote]

So are you saying all Cambodian women are dominatrixes? or all women? Trying to follow what you are saying here. Seems like your own wife doesn't fall into this category.

In my view only a few Cambodian women really fit into this category, although cultural norms about control of the money may shift them in this direction.

Add in a family that spends a lot of time in the household and that leads to even more sense of control. But most women are not dominatrixes. It's just that Cambodian women can be more controlling than one would expect from initial behaviors and early stages of the relationship.

I have a Khemer wife.I set one of her nieces up with a guy from the U.S. about ten years ago.They are still married and have a successful marriage.My wife has over 20 nieces and there are no unattractive women in her family,I can ask her if she has another niece who would be interested in getting married to a barang.They are not prostitutes and you must be careful not to make them think that you are treating them as one or they will immediately get away from you and not speak with you again,Once you get know them you will quickly fall in love as they are sweet girls.They all live near Sihanoukville.

newkidontheblock wrote: ↑Sun Jul 30, 2023 8:22 pm

scott61 wrote:CEO Pathological Cynic here. Western raised Cambodian men seeking marriage advice are rare in Barang forums. Tentative research shows of the 1.1 million unmarried women, an eligibility to about 1.1 million... a Cambobarang might know that.

100% Cambodian by ancestry and naturalization? Less than 100% is 0%. One Khmer parent and born on a mountaintop in Tennessee you are Khmer. Naturalization is for children born to foreign parents... and HE donors?

I going to make a speculations here.

Children born in the Tennessee to foreign parents don’t get need naturalization. They are automatic citizens. If they are born elsewhere, aka Cambodia, and the parents become citizens, then they need to go through naturalization. I did.

If a foreigner and a Khmer marry and have a child, is the child 100% or 0%? I’d say the kid is mix, neither 100% nor 0%. Culture mostly runs through the mother to the kids. The OP says he grew up Khmer so either mom was Khmer, or both parents are Khmer and emigrated to the US.

Naturalization isn’t just for HE donors.

I try to be optimistic until proven wrong.

I can't prove you wrong because I pulled those stats out of my backside (I don't even know what an HE donor is).

Sorry I took so long responding I've been on holiday in Cambodia.