I’m sure there’s a law, obscure or tenuous, somewhere that deals with this-
(Might be TL-DR)

The noisy fuckers that announce anything taller than a rat, moving within 10feet of the front gate.
Today, the two most annoying critters on our road launched out of their holes and alarmed the little fella so much that he’d yanked his hand from mine and ran across the road before I’d even blinked.
Trying to inform a 4 year old that these vermin are actually harmless is akin to explaining something to a Khmer woman using logic and reason.
It’s futile and life shortening.

After a well aimed set of those clacking-fucking-balls (that are all the rage, currently) with which I managed to hit the nearer of the two mutts enough to get a yelp, I was able to corral the pair back inside their owner’s home, and closed the doors so they could yelp all they liked in an enclosed space, and shit all over to their hearts content.
I pray to the gods that they’d recently had breakfast, and the new stress was a laxative.

Expecting an encounter this evening, with their owner, nothing occurred. They’re just as noisy, though; but make better use of available cover, now.

So. As much as I like the idea of occasional target practice with whatever object comes to hand, and not being shy of discussing the matter with an upset resident, Man to muppet*, is there a slightly calmer way of having this dealt with? Village chief and a couple of starched shirts visiting with a letter and a machete.
Welding the gates shut from the outside, maybe.

In the meantime, if anyone has some Vietnamese recipes with colour illustrations- I might print a few flyers and post them through the other offending doors, too.



*don’t ask me to identify which is which

Develop a limp and acquire a stout walking stick

Pseudonomdeplume wrote: ↑Wed Jun 28, 2023 10:37 pm I suppose chocolate coated onions is going too far.

not if the chocolate is of the bowel relieving kind

IraHayes wrote: ↑Wed Jun 28, 2023 10:57 pm

Pseudonomdeplume wrote: ↑Wed Jun 28, 2023 10:37 pm I suppose chocolate coated onions is going too far.

not if the chocolate is of the bowel relieving kind

For dogs, it can be a bit more relieving than just of bowels.

Maybe I should run my own myth-busters- Is Chocolate really bad for dogs?
However, in reality, the core problem is the owners. But given that we also have twats in vehicles and bikes with way too little aptitude and far too much attitude, it’s not healthy for kids to be scared across the road at the wrong moment. Laxatives in sausages could be a half way effort. That might be fun. Especially in the heat.

I’m frankly not averse to kicking the mutts if they get too close again. They were particularly closer than normal. Neither do I have a problem with teach my lad how to deal with dogs, and stand his ground.
I’m not quite sure where lack of courage comes from. Maintaining some semblance of civility in the neighbourhood- especially as he and I clearly stand out, and as the unhinged in the country frequently make the news for their response to perceived disrespect by the sluggish of thinking. I’m liking the walking stick idea. My grandmother had one with a two foot concealed blade. I might ship it over.