Sunderland man, 40, captured seagull and masturbated over it as he watched porn in 'bizarre' offence

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Re: Sunderland man, 40, captured seagull and masturbated over it as he watched porn in 'bizarre' offence

Post by scott61 »

hanno wrote: Wed Apr 26, 2023 2:27 pm And they are not "Seagulls", there is no bird with that name.
But Hanno, I'm know I'm being pedantic (I'm sorry but can't help it), it's a herring gull (and a very attractive one if I may say so), and all herring gulls are seagulls, or, more accurately, gulls. However, not all seagulls are herring gulls.

These birds are protected species, but presumably it's OK with a magpie (a crow) which aren't protected. In short, you can have a bit bestiality with a Newcastle bird but not with a makem bird; a far superior species. We are tribal in the north-east of England. Just protecting our birds, sticking up for them if you like.
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Re: Sunderland man, 40, captured seagull and masturbated over it as he watched porn in 'bizarre' offence

Post by John Bingham »

Seagulls are real. However they are not particularly well-known for their skills in fellatio.

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Re: Sunderland man, 40, captured seagull and masturbated over it as he watched porn in 'bizarre' offence

Post by Freightdog »

Given that some males of a certain ape species have for many years been attempting to convince the females of the species that certain bodily fluids are perfectly acceptable, even potentially nourishing, I’d be surprised if someone might not offer as a reasonable defence that the act was maybe beneficial.
If the gull in question were to offer opinions on the event, he (or she, but unlikely they…) might compare it to aspects of its natural environment. However, the gull in question might firmly state that they are not a swallow.
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Re: Sunderland man, 40, captured seagull and masturbated over it as he watched porn in 'bizarre' offence

Post by hanno »

scott61 wrote: Thu Apr 27, 2023 12:39 am
hanno wrote: Wed Apr 26, 2023 2:27 pm And they are not "Seagulls", there is no bird with that name.
But Hanno, I'm know I'm being pedantic (I'm sorry but can't help it), it's a herring gull (and a very attractive one if I may say so), and all herring gulls are seagulls, or, more accurately, gulls. However, not all seagulls are herring gulls.

These birds are protected species, but presumably it's OK with a magpie (a crow) which aren't protected. In short, you can have a bit bestiality with a Newcastle bird but not with a makem bird; a far superior species. We are tribal in the north-east of England. Just protecting our birds, sticking up for them if you like.
I do believe this is a Greater Black-backed Gull, mantle is to dark for Herring.

And "Seagull" is still wrong, as many gulls do not live anywhere near the sea.
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Re: Sunderland man, 40, captured seagull and masturbated over it as he watched porn in 'bizarre' offence

Post by Freightdog »

@hanno, humbly, and with all due respect, I defer to the ‘80s on this matter

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Re: Sunderland man, 40, captured seagull and masturbated over it as he watched porn in 'bizarre' offence

Post by hanno »

Freightdog wrote: Thu Apr 27, 2023 3:06 pm @hanno, humbly, and with all due respect, I defer to the ‘80s on this matter

My guess would be that none of the band members were birders.

Michigan State University:
The last time you went to the beach you probably had no trouble finding some wildlife in the form of a noisy flock of seagulls. But was that truly a seagull trying to make off with your lunch? Ask a bird researcher or check in a bird book and you’ll soon find there is no such thing as a seagull. What most people refer to as seagulls are actually birds in the scientifically classified family Laridae. Look in any North American bird guide and you’ll see this group listed as the “gull and tern” family with more than 35 species in it.
Statement by the RSPCA:
In a statement they said: “There is no such thing as a “seagull”, in fact there are eleven species found in the UK; the Black Headed, Common, Great Black-backed, Glaucous, Herring, Kittewake, Iceland, Little, Mediterranean, Lesser Black-backed and Yellow-legged Gull.
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Re: Sunderland man, 40, captured seagull and masturbated over it as he watched porn in 'bizarre' offence

Post by scott61 »

hanno wrote: Thu Apr 27, 2023 7:57 am
scott61 wrote: Thu Apr 27, 2023 12:39 am
hanno wrote: Wed Apr 26, 2023 2:27 pm And they are not "Seagulls", there is no bird with that name.
But Hanno, I'm know I'm being pedantic (I'm sorry but can't help it), it's a herring gull (and a very attractive one if I may say so), and all herring gulls are seagulls, or, more accurately, gulls. However, not all seagulls are herring gulls.

These birds are protected species, but presumably it's OK with a magpie (a crow) which aren't protected. In short, you can have a bit bestiality with a Newcastle bird but not with a makem bird; a far superior species. We are tribal in the north-east of England. Just protecting our birds, sticking up for them if you like.
I do believe this is a Greater Black-backed Gull, mantle is to dark for Herring.

And "Seagull" is still wrong, as many gulls do not live anywhere near the sea.
I concede. You have convinced me that 'seagull' in only a colloquial description.

As for the species, it is hard to tell if the back is grey or black in the abused bird.

Image

Image

But I will concede again, because when it comes to identifying birds, as for nearly everything, I don't know what I'm talking about. :hattip:
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Re: Sunderland man, 40, captured seagull and masturbated over it as he watched porn in 'bizarre' offence

Post by John Bingham »

These things are fucking crazy.
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Re: Sunderland man, 40, captured seagull and masturbated over it as he watched porn in 'bizarre' offence

Post by David Gordon »

Stay classy na
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Re: Sunderland man, 40, captured seagull and masturbated over it as he watched porn in 'bizarre' offence

Post by Freightdog »

Many moons ago*, a seagull stole my lunch while eating it on the school football field. As revenge, I made sandwiches entirely of Colman’S English*** mustard to throw to the bastards. Fuckers ate them and came back for more.
In light of Bingham’s earlier contribution, I clearly didn’t do my homework. Possibly, predictable.



*Whatever forty something years worth comes out at?**
**Which, no matter how many times I calculate it, still comes out to one.
***For the Norte Americanos, English mustard being the proper hotter one.
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