Sponsoring a bar girl

This is the part of the forum where we discuss Cambodia's nightlife! While most bars, nightclubs, pubs, beer gardens, and hostess bars are in Phnom Penh, we discuss the Cambodian nightlife across all of Cambodia, including Siem Reap, Kampot, and Sihanoukville. The main nightlife areas in Phnom Penh are on Street 136, Street 130, Street 110 and Street 51, but there are other party spots that aren't girlie bars where expats, tourists, and locals drink until the sun comes up. Feel free to post specials and promotions that relate to nighttime fun!
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Re: Sponsoring a bar girl

Post by Tootsfriend »

phuketrichard wrote: Mon Oct 03, 2022 11:54 am
mi1 wrote: Mon Oct 03, 2022 10:59 am have no experience.. but let me guess.
it's hard to generalize because in the end it also depends on girl (how long she is in business, what is her personality, etc..) in ur situation when u both know that those money is not for "take her form bar"

pros:
- u will get more attention (the bigger amount u send the more attention). Your messages will not be ignored
- when in town, ur priority will be higher then other customers (unless they are also sponsors)
- maybe will make u feel good knowing u "help" single mother who has no chance for decent education/work and still need to support her family.

cons:
- wasting money (basically u pay money so she will chat with you)
- she might actually look down at you
If a girl is getting one sponsor i'd bet $ to donuts she has a few more :beer3:
my partners sister is a nice, kind, affectionate girl and has 3 sponsors yet STILL is in the game!

Want feel good? support an orphan!!
The key word there richard is '' if ''. We seem to be putting all girls in the same bracket, and I personally know two girls that have worked in a bar for many years , both young and good looking, are still ''original'' and have never had a boyfriend. My guess is there are probably hundreds more so lets not assume that all girls are the same and go with guys for money or need to be sponsored.

For those that want to feel good by giving money why not support the bar they work in. Many bars have a box to put tips in which is shared amongst the staff or you can tip the girl when you pay for your drinks.
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Re: Sponsoring a bar girl

Post by Cambo Dear »

If it was genuinely fun for both of you then I'm sure she'd pick up the phone for a chat every now and again in the hope you catch up with her on your next visit. If you want her voice to be the last you hear before sleep and the first you hear when you wake up, but you know that her feelings are disingenuous then I guess that will cost you. Like others have said, if she's so good at her job that she can get money long after the transaction ends, fair play to her.
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Re: Sponsoring a bar girl

Post by phuketrichard »

Tootsfriend wrote: Mon Oct 03, 2022 1:52 pm

For those that want to feel good by giving money why not support the bar they work in. Many bars have a box to put tips in which is shared amongst the staff or you can tip the girl when you pay for your drinks.
given a choice between sending free money to a bar girl or placing money in a tip jar to support working staff, i'd much rather support an orphan or a site like https://choice-cambodia.org/blog/ or https://www.rescuetaskforce.org/

but thats just me :beer3:
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Sponsoring a bar girl

Post by jah steu »

The range of money that guys overseas send to girls here varies from $50 a month to $1,500+ And as some posters have said, many girls have multiple sponsors sending them money on both a regular and irregular basis.
Foreigners generally earn 5-20 times what the girls are making. They have a fair amount of disposable income. If they choose to give a small part of it to one or more girls in Asia, I think that’s their choice.
I’ve talked to countless guys who do this and almost all are aware that ‘their’ girl is getting money from other sources and is often continuing to work in a bar. But they are happy to help the girl a bit. They may be lonely overseas or just feeling generous, but they get a good feeling by donating. I’m puzzled why both Violet and RozzieOz fail to understand this.
For the scenario the OP mentions I’d guess $50-$150 a month would be typical.


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jah steu
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Re: Sponsoring a bar girl

Post by jah steu »

violet wrote:would you be okay with sponsoring her if you knew she was also getting regular payments from others?
Yes. Most guys realise that other guys are also giving ‘their girl’ money. But they kid themselves that they are the ‘special one’, and the girl does her best to convince the guy of this.


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Re: Sponsoring a bar girl

Post by violet »

jah steu wrote: Mon Oct 03, 2022 2:55 pm The range of money that guys overseas send to girls here varies from $50 a month to $1,500+ And as some posters have said, many girls have multiple sponsors sending them money on both a regular and irregular basis.
Foreigners generally earn 5-20 times what the girls are making. They have a fair amount of disposable income. If they choose to give a small part of it to one or more girls in Asia, I think that’s their choice.
I’ve talked to countless guys who do this and almost all are aware that ‘their’ girl is getting money from other sources and is often continuing to work in a bar. But they are happy to help the girl a bit. They may be lonely overseas or just feeling generous, but they get a good feeling by donating. I’m puzzled why both Violet and RozzieOz fail to understand this.
For the scenario the OP mentions I’d guess $50-$150 a month would be typical.


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Hang on. Mine was a genuine question to the OP. If he’s okay with it that’s all that matters. Not every man is seasoned in these things. I asked the question from that perspective. No judgement.
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Re: Sponsoring a bar girl

Post by Funflyer »

Thanks for all the replies so far, some interesting and varied thoughts on the topic. I'm still wavering about whether to proceed or not although we have been chatting a bit anyway. The notion of a long distance GFE sums up my idea quite well. Certainly I'd only ever send what I can afford and only continue while I enjoy it. I'll be returning in a couple of month as well so that will be another interesting thing to see how well we continue from where we left off from the last visit.
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jah steu
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Re: Sponsoring a bar girl

Post by jah steu »

violet wrote:Hang on. Mine was a genuine question to the OP. If he’s okay with it that’s all that matters. Not every man is seasoned in these things. I asked the question from that perspective. No judgement.
Yes fair enough. I took your initial comment in the wrong tone.


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Re: Sponsoring a bar girl

Post by xandreu »

Reading between the lines, and I fully accept that I may have the wrong end of the stick, but I can only go on what you've written here. My hunch, is that you have actually fallen for this girl, whether you are prepared to admit that to yourself or not. The fact that you are considering supporting this bar girl, knowing full well that you are very likely to be just one of many, shows just how much you've really fallen for her.

There's nothing wrong with that in my opinion, it's human nature. You wouldn't be the first and you certainly won't be the last to fall for an attractive Khmer girl, whether she's a bar girl or not. It's much, much more common than many people would care to admit. And once that lovebug has left you with a very deep bite mark, it makes it very difficult to see the true reality of the situation, rather than your own subjective view of it.

It's not down to anyone else to tell you what they think you should do, and it's certainly not down to anyone else to judge you for your situation.

There are sometimes in life where only you know the best course of action, and only time will tell you whether you made the right choice or not.

Again, as for the amount of money you think is appropriate to support this girl, only you can make that call. Your situation is as unique as everyone else who has been in a similar situation. For a person earning $100,000 a year, sending $500 a month it's nothing. But for someone only earning $30,000 a year, sending $500 a month would just be silly, but then again, no one knows the true strength of your feelings towards this girl apart from you. And even then, it's the true strength of your feelings that you're willing to admit to yourself.

I think the question that you're asking can only be answered by yourself. Not random strangers on an Internet forum.

But good luck to you.
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Re: Sponsoring a bar girl

Post by Funflyer »

Thanks xandreu, that's a very thoughtful and kind reply to my question. Yes I like her and that's why I'm thinking of supporting her. On a matter like this it's really nice to hear the opinions of others, hear about the positives and heed the warnings. Ultimately, you are right, I will make my own decision based on what is best for me. From a financial perspective while I certainly would not class myself as rich (or close to it) but I am comfortable enough yo make a reasonable contribution if I go ahead. Maybe it's going to be a situation where if I never try I'll never know!! Thanks again
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