Hi,

I know there's stereotypes of expats//foreigners here: the sex tourist, the backpacker, the charity worker etc, but as I was chatting with customers over the last couple weeks, one theme I've noticed between many of them (myself included), is that many of the longer term people that don't fit any of the stereotypes above have any family or friends back "home" where we came from.

Whether it be due to deaths in the family, a falling out from family or friends, a drifting away over time either from different interests, or just wanting a new life...but most of the people I've interacted that are expats now (I used to never interact because I was dealing strictly with Cambodians my 12 years here), I'm coming to find are those who were born in land foreign to them and are seeking a home elsewhere, if that makes sense.

I don't mean it in a bad way like "You suck, you don't fit, what's wrong with you?" kind of way, although society might be anxious to label people like that as such, I just mean that they had the wits or strength to actually get up and leave for somewhere else.

So, just out of curiosity because I myself fit this bill (no longer have any living family back home even though I'm "young"), I'm curious if many of you here are more or less in the same situation. Home isn't a home, so you're looking for your own.

-SlowJoe

Got friends in Australia, HK and the states
Sister, brother, daughter in the states
but my best friends are in Thailand

FYI:
i dont know any of your stereotypes you mention< all the people i know left their birthplace for a different life

SlowJoe wrote: ↑Sun Aug 07, 2022 7:44 am Hi,

I know there's stereotypes of expats//foreigners here: the sex tourist, the backpacker, the charity worker etc, but as I was chatting with customers over the last couple weeks, one theme I've noticed between many of them (myself included), is that many of the longer term people that don't fit any of the stereotypes above have any family or friends back "home" where we came from.

Whether it be due to deaths in the family, a falling out from family or friends, a drifting away over time either from different interests, or just wanting a new life...but most of the people I've interacted that are expats now (I used to never interact because I was dealing strictly with Cambodians my 12 years here), I'm coming to find are those who were born in land foreign to them and are seeking a home elsewhere, if that makes sense.

I don't mean it in a bad way like "You suck, you don't fit, what's wrong with you?" kind of way, although society might be anxious to label people like that as such, I just mean that they had the wits or strength to actually get up and leave for somewhere else.

So, just out of curiosity because I myself fit this bill (no longer have any living family back home even though I'm "young"), I'm curious if many of you here are more or less in the same situation. Home isn't a home, so you're looking for your own.

-SlowJoe

I’ve still got a sister and her small family in the UK, and a half dozen real good (childhood) friends, who I try to see once or twice a year (until Covid happened)
I lived and worked away from “home” for twenty odd years before moving to Cambodia, and it’s pretty much the same arrangement.
I keep in touch with family circa once a month, we’re close, but don’t need to live in each other’s pockets (any contact inside that period brings a feeling of dread, worrying someone is sick or worse) I stay with them when I’m over, and we have a good catch-up. Contact with my mates is less frequent, but seems to suit all parties.
I used to think working/living away would impact my relationships with my close mates (and that I was missing out on loads of great times) but the reality is that everyone is so wrapped up with family life and working (at home and abroad) that they don’t see so much of each other (unlike when we were younger) and I don’t think I’d see much more of them even if I was living back in Blighty.
My giving the guys a heads up that I’m coming over for a visit is an “excuse” for getting everyone who’s available together. When we meet up it’s like we saw each other just last week, and nobody’s ever been away (a sign of real friendship IMO) and if all the stars align and the other guys who work away happen to be at home, then it’s even better (when the stars don’t align, sometimes I don’t see some mates for 2 or 3 years)
One of the downsides of living abroad and visiting home infrequently, is returning for a visit and seeing how much the place has changed/deteriorated. When you live there constantly the changes aren’t so noticeable (they creep up on you) but when you’ve been away a full twelve months they smack you right in the face, and after twenty odd years that’s quite a beating.
That’s probably why I’m so content in Cambodia, I haven’t been here long enough to remember “the good old days” of the KOW.

Have a older sister, maybe 78 years old that I have not seen or been in contact with for over 40 years. We never got along so it's no worry for me.
Also have a sister and brother about 85 years old. They are not internet savvy so have not been in contact with them for 15 plus years, Do people still write letters on paper and have them delivered by post these days ? Everyone has their own lives and families so I think most people drift apart to live their own lives in different places .
You get so involved in raising family and living in Cambodia [ 19 years ] that to me , living in a foreign country means living in the country I was born in.

Parents, step siblings, cousins and friends

No kids, I don't see how some fellas can do that to the younger ones and grandchildren

Got a brother that I have talked to about 5 times in the last 30 years. He has lived in Sweden all his adult life and is actually Swedish now.

My mom and my stepfather divide their time between South Africa, Kenya, and Europe. Used to see them 1-2 a year before Covid. They will come and visit me in Cambodia in November and I am looking forward to that.

No real friends, moving every few years is not so great for friendships.

Have adult children and sister in Australia plus many friends, so strong ties to home Australia. My mother in NZ passed away and I have a sister in NZ that hasn't talked to me in 9 years so I no longer have any ties in NZ apart from a few friends from school.
Before covid went Aus and NZ twice a year to see them but no real reason to go NZ now.
same same below

FYI:
i dont know any of your stereotypes you mention< all the people i know left their birthplace for a different life

Ton of family, no idea how many they are at this point. The last generation are all strangers to me.

Do have a few good friends scattered around the place but most my time is spent in the company of random people.

Left home many years ago looking for broader variation of people and things going on. Can't say I regretted it

Me and my brother who lives in Memphis time our UK visits together to see my mother and sister in England. Used to be twice a year for me but with the travel hassle these days I've decided to now go only once a year and stay longer. Since I've been based in Thailand for nearly half my life, all my best friends either live here or visit every year. I left the UK because I didn't think it offered a very attractive future, I made the right decision and go back only out of duty not choice.

phuketrichard wrote: ↑Sun Aug 07, 2022 8:29 am Got friends in Australia, HK and the states
Sister, brother, daughter in the states
but my best friends are in Thailand

FYI:
i dont know any of your stereotypes you mention< all the people i know left their birthplace for a different life

Just to clarify, you mean you don't know the stereotypes I'm talking about, or you just don't know any personally?

I'm fairly out of touch with the "expat world" in many ways.

***

And I can't quote everyone, but it seems a fair bit are in the same boat as others I've conversed with and myself. Not surprising, just stating the obvious I suppose.