SERIOUS QUESTION

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Kampong Spooner
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Re: SERIOUS QUESTION

Post by Kampong Spooner » Wed May 27, 2015 11:17 am

vladimir wrote:Jim Morrison, narcissistic arsehole, last person I'd take advice from about almost anything.

Except maybe how to write (a few) decent songs.
A movie about the Doors? I'm drunk, I'm nobody, I'm drunk I'm famous, I'm drunk I'm fucking dead. Big fat dead guy in a bathtub, there's your movie.

Dennis Leary
Cookin' MCs like a pound o'bacon
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phuketrichard
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Re: SERIOUS QUESTION

Post by phuketrichard » Wed May 27, 2015 11:19 am

maybe
but they were fucking great live!!!
In a nation run by swine, all pigs are upward-mobile and the rest of us are fucked until we can put our acts together: not necessarily to win, but mainly to keep from losing completely. HST
TheGrinchSR
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Re: SERIOUS QUESTION

Post by TheGrinchSR » Wed May 27, 2015 11:48 am

Samouth wrote:How do you all define a successful life?

I actually don't know if i am too young to think about this. I just recently feel like i am so confusing and find myself in the middle of no where. I don't know what to do and plan for the future. It seems like i am stuck in one place, no moving. Looking to my classmates, most of them are so successful in their works and lives. Some of them got married and already have one or two kids and they also have car and house while i have nothing. :(
A lot depends on how you measure success. Happiness is probably a better measure than any other, from my perspective. The good news is that happiness is actually fairly well understood.

We all have kind of a natural level of happiness to start with - for some it's higher than others and for some it's lower. We can operate on a range from very unhappy to very happy. As with your natural level, that range is specific to you.

There are some fairly simple ways to try and keep at the top of your own range. Community or faith participation - studies show that people with these kinds of involvement are happier than those without.

Determining your own personal priorities and working towards them (even if you never get to the end goal) can help. So can choosing to be thankful, in a formal manner, on a daily basis for the good things we already have. Taking time to acknowledge those things somehow makes them more "real".

A focus on experiences rather than possessions. There's a shit ton of research that shows that one-off experiences make us happy for far longer than even the most expensive and hard-earned possessions.

And so on...

There's a book called the Happiness Hypothesis which you can find in Bohr's in Phnom Penh that explores all the latest research and offers some simple methodologies for pursuing happiness. The Happiness Project, which is harder to find here, is also worth reading.
"If you want a vision of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face - forever." - George Orwell
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phuketrichard
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Re: SERIOUS QUESTION

Post by phuketrichard » Wed May 27, 2015 12:11 pm

Happiness is a byproduct of function, purpose, and conflict; those who seek happiness for itself seek victory without war.
William S. Burroughs
In a nation run by swine, all pigs are upward-mobile and the rest of us are fucked until we can put our acts together: not necessarily to win, but mainly to keep from losing completely. HST
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markd
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Re: SERIOUS QUESTION

Post by markd » Wed May 27, 2015 12:27 pm

to the op, if youre a girl, get a partner. a burden shared is a burden halved.

if youre a boy, see the above. :beer2:
thru shit to more shit
prahkeitouj
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Re: SERIOUS QUESTION

Post by prahkeitouj » Wed May 27, 2015 1:02 pm

Samouth wrote:How do you all define a successful life?

I actually don't know if i am too young to think about this. I just recently feel like i am so confusing and find myself in the middle of no where. I don't know what to do and plan for the future. It seems like i am stuck in one place, no moving. Looking to my classmates, most of them are so successful in their works and lives. Some of them got married and already have one or two kids and they also have car and house while i have nothing. :(
Yes, compare yourself with others in order to develop yourself but don't let it takes your smile away. I think what You really need now is a special inspiration. No matter with your age but it is important if you are ready for it or not. I think if you can't find the right person yet, you shouldn't think about marriage. I don't know if you have a gf or not, but I agree that having a special person who has warm heart and inspire you to reach your goal is very important. maybe you should find something to love and love it badly then you will the way. Enjoy your journey, boy! :)
កុំស្លាប់ដូចពស់ កុំរស់ដូចកង្កែប
Samouth
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Re: SERIOUS QUESTION

Post by Samouth » Wed May 27, 2015 3:17 pm

Thanks everyone for all great and motivational comments. I hope they will help me to feel peace inside and appreciate what i have again.

Actually for the last couples years. i was feeling so good. I loved and appreciated with all what i had and never wished to have more than enough. Not to mention, i had never compared myself with other people, friends and relatives. In addition, i had never wanted to copy other people lifestyle. I was so happy about myself. However, just recently, i didn't know what led me to think about all of these. I just couldn't help myself to think about them.
បើសិនធ្វើចេះ ចេះឲ្យគេកោត បើសិនធ្វើឆោត ឆោតឲ្យគេអាណិត។

If you know a lot, know enough to make them respect you, if you are stupid, be stupid enough so they can pity you.
Rama
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Re: SERIOUS QUESTION

Post by Rama » Thu May 28, 2015 6:42 am

There is an important and vital distinction that needs to be made between 'success' and 'luck'.
Especially here in Cambodia...It's not an even playing field, not by a long way.
Most of the 'successful people' I see are actually just 'lucky'. (Yeah, yeah "you make your own luck" etc...but that luck is often still dependent on your starting position) They didn't get what they have through hard work and perseverance. They inherited wealth or got it through nefarious means.

Those who work the hardest here are underpaid and undervalued.

In my eyes a boy or girl from the rice fields who can make something of their life is more successful than the young guy I see in my gym who owns 2 top of the range cars and has a diamond and gold chain Buddha pendant around his neck and a HS watch on his wrist.

Actually in my eyes the boy or girl who stays in their village and works the rice field for the rest of their life and takes care of his or her mother, father, wife and kids is more successful than that teenage freshie driving around on a KTM Duke whose family will pay for him to get a job as a corrupt civil servant and who will piss away his life doing fuck all of value in Phnom Penh and spend as little time as possible with his wife and kids.

It's important to see the person not their car/phone/trophy wife/gold ring etc.
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vladimir
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Re: SERIOUS QUESTION

Post by vladimir » Thu May 28, 2015 6:50 am

Interesting post, Rama.

I've heard a few of the expat wannabe club claiming that they got the jobs they have now solely because of hard work. They are seldom open about where they work, though, and if one asks them about the interview process, it normally involves meeting a guy in a girlie bar or such.

I would say in Cambodia that luck.connections (drinking buddies) play a much bigger part than merit.

Then you meet a guy like Akira who doesn't tell everyone about it, and it's very refreshing to see that people can have money and not be obsessed with telling everyone how hard they worked for it.

I can't help feeling that the braggers feel pricked by conscience and insecurity.
Jesus loves you...Mexico is great, right? ;)
Rama
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Re: SERIOUS QUESTION

Post by Rama » Thu May 28, 2015 7:18 am

"Luck...the favourite word of the envious and the spiteful incompetent. It explains why somebody else accomplished something while they did not. It is a one-word rationale to justify their having done nothing with their lives. It brings everyone else down to their own level of lassitude...Luck!" (Irving Stone...and one of my favourite quotes)

...Some people ARE more competent or harder working.
People really shouldn't deal with the dilemma that successful people are more successful just because they have better luck or more opportunities. It's really no help to your own personal circumstances. It may be true, but don't dwell on it or become bitter about it.

You have to believe in yourself and strive.

success is relative to your circumstances and personal desires...and it has to be personally achieved.
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