Image: Getty Images

Jaishree Kumar
3rd June 2022

Asians Are Losing Their Minds Over the Swedish Tradition of Not Feeding Their Guests

So, why do Swedish people not want to feed their guests? Or their kid’s friends who’ve come over to play?

If you have been keeping up with Twitter, you know people are really, really mad at Sweden. A screenshot of a Reddit post that recently went viral had someone describing their experience of visiting their friend’s home in Sweden, where they were asked to wait in a room while their friend’s family finished their dinner. This screenshot eventually made its way to Twitter, where non-Swedish people – particularly Asians – lost their minds.

For as long as I’ve been alive, food has been a dominant love language for South Asians like me. When I want to apologise to my sibling after a fight, I make their favourite spinach and corn sandwiches. When my parents want to check in on me, they offer me a plate full of sliced fruits. When a friend and I fight, we go out for biryani the next day, or he sends cookies to my place. For many South Asians like me, food is not just the language of love but also a means to express our guilt, regret, support – basically a medium of our relationships.

Other Swedes have offered other explanations – from old traditions which put the onus of hospitality on the rich, to how Sweden was once a poor country and thus, its people only cook for their own family, or how feeding someone else’s child can be seen as a critique of the kid’s caregivers' ability to support their family.

So, why do Swedish people not want to feed their guests? Or their kid’s friends who’ve come over to play? Apparently, in Nordic cultures, hospitality was the duty of people with higher status. “So, hospitality not only brought honour to the giver, it had the potential to bring shame to the recipient,”

But not everyone understands this. The discourse has now stirred questions on hospitality and community building. Many Twitter users pointed out that Sweden was indeed a poor country once. But colonialism (which Sweden took part in) made countries in Latin America, Africa, and Asia – places where people consider it sacred to feed their guests – poor.

In my Indian household, if someone shows up unannounced, they are offered tea, biscuits and salted snacks called namkeen. Indian families often say, “Arre chai toh pike jao” – at least have tea before you leave. But it’s never just tea. At the very least, there’ll be a couple of Parle-G biscuits.

Rana Safvi, a writer of culture and history, points out that in some South Asian cultures, people eat from the same plate. “In the Bohra Muslim community, everyone eats from one large plate. Sharing food and eating together is not only an act of closeness but also a reminder to everyone that they are all equal.”

I checked with my colleagues from Japan, the Philippines, and Pakistan. If I showed up to their place unannounced around meal time, what would they do? All of them said they would at least offer me a cup of tea or coffee. “For sure invite you to dinner,” said VICE Asia editor Therese Reyes from the Philippines. “Hello is ‘have you eaten’ here, it’s super rude if you don’t at least invite them.”

As for Sweden, it looks like the country’s reputation changed after a single screenshot.

full article https://www.vice.com/en/article/epzggj/ ... sts-reddit

.And the women walk about in short skirts and skimpy tops, another cultural habit that needs to change in order to please ?

tightenupvolume1 wrote:.And the women walk about in short skirts and skimpy tops, another cultural habit that needs to change in order to please ?

When the women have million dollar super model bodies, no problem.

When the women simply have rolls and rolls every where, more of a problem.

How about just have the women wear something individual that looks flattering to them?

newkidontheblock wrote: ↑Tue Jun 07, 2022 4:58 pm

tightenupvolume1 wrote:.And the women walk about in short skirts and skimpy tops, another cultural habit that needs to change in order to please ?

When the women have million dollar super model bodies, no problem.

When the women simply have rolls and rolls every where, more of a problem.

How about just have the women wear something individual that looks flattering to them?

Looking forward to a picture of NKOTBs ripped muscular body. I heard Gregory Jacobs tried throwing millions his way to cast him as lead for Magic Mike XXL.

Or doesn't he have that "million dollar super model body" himself and his "missus" has to assure him regularly that it is "the inside that counts"? In that case I am curious about his flattering looks wearing sharp looking outfits. Up-to-date high-fashion, traditional suits and ties, or his own avantgarde futuristic look?

Would you pass or fail an encounter with the fashion-police yourself?

Flexxman wrote: ↑Tue Jun 07, 2022 5:29 pm
Would you pass or fail an encounter with the fashion-police yourself?

Well, if we're assuming that the avatar pics are close to reality, guess who wins ? (but you have some style, i'll give you that)

Big Daikon wrote: ↑Thu Jun 09, 2022 4:02 pm Golly, almost as though different cultures have different values.

This article was inspired by an African immigrant in Sweden who was shocked about not being invited to dine with her Swedish friend. Watched the fracas on Twitter.

I've had friends who only ever turned up at dinner time or just before with the wife and kids in toe, obviously expecting to be feed.