atst wrote: ↑Fri Jun 10, 2022 1:10 pm When you take a woman away from family, lifestyle, eg eating out 3 times a day going out with friends getting hair done makeup every few days, and put them in an apartment or house to cook and clean, isolated from family and friends , with the one time out to the supermarket for shopping to eat at home every day, not to mention the language barrier , what could possibly go wrong.

Big Daikon wrote: ↑Sat Jun 11, 2022 6:16 am

atst wrote: ↑Fri Jun 10, 2022 1:10 pm When you take a woman away from family, lifestyle, eg eating out 3 times a day going out with friends getting hair done makeup every few days, and put them in an apartment or house to cook and clean, isolated from family and friends , with the one time out to the supermarket for shopping to eat at home every day, not to mention the language barrier , what could possibly go wrong.

Interesting point. I wonder what % of Western/Asian couples stay in Asia versus living in the West. Anecdotally, it seems many if not most stay in Asia.

This includes non-ex-hookers.

Random Dude wrote: ↑Sat Jun 11, 2022 12:58 pm Over the years I've had a lot of friends get married in Asia (no ex-hookers), most of them are still in Asia and I suspect it's because they realised the Asian side of the partnership couldn't live happily in a different culture, away from family, friends, and everything familiar. Then there's the money aspect, when you live and work in Asia you're usually living pretty well, when you return to your own country that's not necessarily the case. In most cases the Asian side of the partnership was used to living in a nice apartment, going shopping for shoes and clothes, getting her hair and nails done then lunch with friends.. when all of a sudden they're living on a tighter budget and she has no friends she obviously starts to wonder what happened to the land of milk and honey with gold paved streets she saw on TV?

A few couples I know well who have moved to a western country have moved back within a year or two, others have just divorced.

Big Daikon wrote: ↑Sat Jun 11, 2022 1:55 pm

Random Dude wrote: ↑Sat Jun 11, 2022 12:58 pm Over the years I've had a lot of friends get married in Asia (no ex-hookers), most of them are still in Asia and I suspect it's because they realised the Asian side of the partnership couldn't live happily in a different culture, away from family, friends, and everything familiar. Then there's the money aspect, when you live and work in Asia you're usually living pretty well, when you return to your own country that's not necessarily the case. In most cases the Asian side of the partnership was used to living in a nice apartment, going shopping for shoes and clothes, getting her hair and nails done then lunch with friends.. when all of a sudden they're living on a tighter budget and she has no friends she obviously starts to wonder what happened to the land of milk and honey with gold paved streets she saw on TV?

A few couples I know well who have moved to a western country have moved back within a year or two, others have just divorced.

I have observed similar here in Japan. Japanese/Western couples may have less economic disparity than SE Asian/Western, but the Japanese women generally don't want to the leave the mother ship for too long (with some interesting exceptions). Also, the Western male can generally build a career and life relatively easily over here and he may want to stay in Asia. I am guessing some of the SE Asian/Western couples may have similar dynamics.

Fascinating topic. Dissertation level interesting.

phuketrichard wrote: ↑Sat Jun 11, 2022 2:19 pm so really
its same as

"you can take the girl out of the bar, but u cant take the bar out of the girl"

should be, "you cant take the girl out of the country"

Random Dude wrote: ↑Sat Jun 11, 2022 2:34 pm From my experience people who choose to leave their home country to live abroad indefinitely do so for their own reasons, usually because they're looking for something a little different in life. There's nothing wrong with it but it's not the norm, most people just aren't built like that. Then they get married and have a baby or two and that's when they start thinking they should go home for the sake of their kids - better education, a healthier environment, and all that stuff. He would probably prefer rather stay where he is because he left and stayed there as long as he did for a reason, she may or may not have unrealistic expectations based on movies etc but reality soon kicks in and she misses her mother and life back home.

It's something for expats thinking about marriage to consider.

Big Daikon wrote: ↑Sat Jun 11, 2022 3:21 pm

Random Dude wrote: ↑Sat Jun 11, 2022 2:34 pm From my experience people who choose to leave their home country to live abroad indefinitely do so for their own reasons, usually because they're looking for something a little different in life. There's nothing wrong with it but it's not the norm, most people just aren't built like that. Then they get married and have a baby or two and that's when they start thinking they should go home for the sake of their kids - better education, a healthier environment, and all that stuff. He would probably prefer rather stay where he is because he left and stayed there as long as he did for a reason, she may or may not have unrealistic expectations based on movies etc but reality soon kicks in and she misses her mother and life back home.

It's something for expats thinking about marriage to consider.

Very good points. It's important to remember that we are the ones who left home. Nothing wrong with that, but we are the abnormal ones, statistically speaking. Not everyone wants to walk away from everything that is familiar and comfortable.

Yes, us expats need to consider that when talking things to the next step of a relationship.