Arget wrote: ↑Fri Feb 19, 2021 12:43 pm Agree that we must accept new normal here if we want to survive.

The biggest thing I had to get over when I first came here in 2003 was comparing everything to home. After several yearly visits I moved here on 2014 and I felt accepted (silly me) and thought I fit in to my new home really well. The belt back to reality was the day I was walking with my redhaired white daughter and my 5 year old mixed race (father Ghana) on street 63 in BKK1. She apparently got bitten by an ant on the toe and she screamed. I told her to stop and she quietened a bit but then I became aware of people staring at us. Some started to come towards us and even a military cop stopped on his motto. I was shitting myself as I don't speak enough Khmer to explain the relationship.
To my everlasting joy one of my tuk tuk drivers stopped and explained who I was and what the family relationship was. As he had spent time with us travelling around the kid was comfortable with him and allowed him to check her toe and "fix" it with some tiger balm (what else?)
This brought me back to the reality that we are not just accepted here and must be aware of our surroundings and what is going on . I too have walked away from confrontation a couple of times because I was never going to be in the right. In the veggie markets I ask a price then either I buy or walk away. I don't wear a watch or gold , only have a phone deep in my pocket.

I have made my home here and hope to remain here but am under no illusion that I am only tolerated not accepted

Good Idea not to wear a watch or gold and carry valuable phones or other electronics in very deep pockets. And try not to carry a backpack or handbag, especially a fashionable one with designer label. A fanny pack and moneybelt are OK since they are much harder to steal.

Meh, never been interested in fitting in anywhere, or ignoring or accepting things I don't agree with. Stay calm, don't guzzle too much cheap piss, and yes, avoid confrontation, but there's no harm calling a spade a spade in a non-confrontational discussion. Easy enough to say leave your Western cap at home, but that's never going to actually happen, because as Arget said, you will always be made very aware that you are the other here. Make your own mind up about your values, regardless of culture, and stick to them.

Arget wrote: ↑Fri Feb 19, 2021 12:43 pm I have made my home here and hope to remain here but am under no illusion that I am only tolerated not accepted

I guess it's all relative.. I feel more accepted here as a foreigner than I did in Thailand from my experience.

I think it's a tall order to be accepted above and beyond that unless you were born here or spoke khmer fluently coz at the end of the day, we are not one of their own kind.

I think Westerners in Cambodia are relatively lucky. They have the benefit loads of Cambodians look up them as immigrants, while in the West people look down on immigrants....

Username Taken wrote: ↑Fri Feb 19, 2021 4:17 pm

Kammekor wrote: ↑Fri Feb 19, 2021 3:53 pm I think Westerners in Cambodia are relatively lucky. They have the benefit loads of Cambodians look up them as immigrants, while in the West people look down on immigrants....

Not sure if that is still how it is for most Westerners, but back 20 years ago the Khmer were happy that Westerners came here because most of them had come here to help. They were thankful that we had come.

Probably depends if you are a rude A-hole or not. I tend to find a simple hello, trying some Khmer and being polite in general goes a long way.

It is not dissimilar to when foreigners come and live in our countries: “oooh they don't even try to speak the language, their personal hygiene is somewhat wanting, they stick to the own communities, yes well, I’m not want to talk, as you know, but it was probably one of them...”

Personally, before I go out, I countersink 4 holes in my abdomen and bolt a small safe to my gut.

I can imagine how some of their small talk must go:

“Hi, how are you, Yu. How’s the pig?”

“Fine. Hows mine, Nmtxl?”

“Not bad. Still going on about catching me sawing through his ball sack, this morning. Now he's saying I never pay attention to what he says, or something like that anyway. I wasn’t really listening.”

“Sorry, this is Ouch!, my sister, because she has lots of money.”

“You can call me Ow! for short”

“And this is Mee, my sister because she’s the hostess.”

“Nice to pretend its nice to meet you, Mee, Ow! For short.”

No, its, for short, without the capital ‘F’.”

“Hi, thanks for coming. My name's Mee Evreeletaofthealphabet”

“Hi, I’m Yu Consonantsonli”

“Oh, that’s a pretty name”

“What, Yu?. I hate Yu”

“Always the way, isn’t it? People always saying they love Mee. Try living with Mee, I say”

“Anyway what do you do for a crump?”

“Who me, Mee? I married a fat snowflake”

“Aah... Well at least he was fat. You know, I’ve always wanted to break into that industry. My best sister, because she’s loaded, whom I have known for 4 FOUR!! Bloody golfers. We’re considering moving to the par-3 7th, at least we don't live on the driving range anymore. Anyway, my good sister is quite high up in your game. Do you know Abcdgoldfishmnogoldfishsarcdbdi Pond?”

“Hah, I don’t know everybody in the rort..”

“Oh no, of course not, I just thought you may have met at seminars or in pris..”

“I've heard the name, obviously, but it's a fairly common name so...”

“Absolutely! Sorry to interrupt, I wasn't really interested in what you had to say so I thought it polite not to make you go on and me have to pretend that’s somebody’s called me on my phone. How do you snake your way into the space? Ive always wan...”

“Shut up! Back to me. Look, it’s not always a bed of roses. You have to let that anemic blubber bouncing up and down in your vijiji, and sometimes my Xanax haven’t even kicked in, and I find myself wide awake during the ordeal. Then you cant get pregnant, so you have to do it again next month. He’s started complaining about my cooking, so Ive had to cut back on the anti-freeze-hydrochloric-acid-rat-poison tea...”

“The what?!”

“On tha...”

“Oh no, I know what afharp tea is, I just wanted to interrupt”

“Anyway, enough about me. What do you think of me, Mee?”

“Is that supposed to be funny? How dare you assume I can think.”

“Me, oh my, Mee, fee-fi-fo-fum, let’s all stick it up the devil white man’s bum”

“Hee hee. An oldie, but a goodie.”

“Did you eat rice yet?”

one of the most creative things i've read all week
genius, pseudoepherdrine, a bit of tweaking and you'll have a real hit!

Phnom Poon wrote: ↑Fri Feb 19, 2021 7:51 pm one of the most creative things i've read all week
genius, pseudoepherdrine, a bit of tweaking and you'll have a real hit!

It seems we have a resident David Foster Wallace. Very postmodern indeed.