General Chatter wrote: Any Cambodian girl having premarital sex(y) is considered a slut and is seen as a bad luck for the family....

Samouth wrote:It is true that young cambodian go to have sex on Valentineday. To me, i really don't feel that they were raped or whatever. If she doesn't want to have sex with him, why didn't she ask him to bring her home, not continue to hotel or guesthouse.

MekongMouse wrote:

LTO wrote:

MekongMouse wrote:Yeah, rape is a really confusing concept ( )...

To read the study I think the OP is referring to, (that has determined that a very high percentage of me have engaged in rape,) it would seem to be something of a confusing concept. For example, the study asked respondents: "Have you ever had sex with your partner when you knew she didn't want to but you thought she should agree because she's your wife/partner?" How is that to be interpreted? If I have sex with my wife even though she's not particularly in the mood but lets me anyway, do I answer 'yes' or 'no' to this question, and have I committed rape?

http://www.bbc.com/news/health-24021573

My response was for Add Jay; I should have made that clear.

The study's wording may have been confusing, but I don't think rape is. You haven't raped your wife if she's not in the mood, but consents. You've raped her if she says "no" but you do it anyway. Some men believe they always have a right to have sex with their wife and that raping her would be impossible because the only answer she's allowed to give is yes. That is how I interpreted that question. Basically, does she have a right to say no? Still, I agree; it is a confusing question.

LTO wrote:

MekongMouse wrote:If you have sex with a person who is too drunk or inebriated to consent, it is rape.

And just an afterthought since it was in the study when it asked: "Have you ever had sex with a woman or girl when she was too drunk or drugged to say whether she wanted it or not?" If I drive that person home even though they have not consented to being driven home, have I kidnapped that person? Or is there perhaps more to kidnapping than that?

If your friend is telling you they do not want to go home, but you drive them home anyway, that would seem to be kidnapping on a technical level. If your friend is very drunk and is saying they do not want to go home, but you do it anyway, I imagine the next morning would thank you because you probably saved them from a lot of trouble. If you take your friend home while she's seeing double and have sex with her, I'm guessing her reaction the next morning will be less thankful, and more enraged.

I've personally been dragged home after a drink too many by concerned friends and been very thankful, despite me telling them not to the night before. Then again, I never woke up with a sore asshole the next day either. That might change things.

Sir_Quality_U_Feel wrote:

The Add Jay wrote:Not for nothing but there is zero ANY freedom for anybody under the age of 25 for that matter. All of my students are locked up inside their homes until marriage I'm assuming. What kind of life is that? They arent Koreans. So I cant blame the guys on their frustration. And the girls at that age have never had "the talk" to put it in simple terms. I see some curiosity with the girls passed the age of 20 or so but anything below that age they are total space cadets. The guys?? its Kiklu Vietnam girl and KTV. I blame the parents and I blame who ever brought this stupid commercial holiday to this country.


Remember yes means yes and No means anal.


What is rape these days anyway? The term gets thrown around way to often...at least in the States. Now just looking at a women is considered some kind of perverted offense.

Add Jay, what about all the young Khmer kids in the clubs every Saturday night? They are not all married. There are young people who are very traditional and those adopting more westernized values.

Jacket wrote:

Samouth wrote:It is true that young cambodian go to have sex on Valentineday. To me, i really don't feel that they were raped or whatever. If she doesn't want to have sex with him, why didn't she ask him to bring her home, not continue to hotel or guesthouse.

I get that this is the Khmer attitude to this issue, but it's highly problematic. People are allowed to change their minds you know? If a girl says that she'll sleep with you tomorrow but she changes her mind shortly before the act, you are not entitled to fuck her. Even if both of you are already naked and you're about to put it in, if she says "no" that must be the end of it. If you proceed and have sex with her against her will, you are a rapist.

Samouth wrote:

Jacket wrote:

Samouth wrote:It is true that young cambodian go to have sex on Valentineday. To me, i really don't feel that they were raped or whatever. If she doesn't want to have sex with him, why didn't she ask him to bring her home, not continue to hotel or guesthouse.

I get that this is the Khmer attitude to this issue, but it's highly problematic. People are allowed to change their minds you know? If a girl says that she'll sleep with you tomorrow but she changes her mind shortly before the act, you are not entitled to fuck her. Even if both of you are already naked and you're about to put it in, if she says "no" that must be the end of it. If you proceed and have sex with her against her will, you are a rapist.

Yes i am feeling sick about this. Sometime rape cases in Cambodia are so funny. Some people, they went to guesthouse together and enjoyed stuff together. Then the day after, she reported to police that she was raped and demanded for compensation.

Samouth wrote:

Jacket wrote:

Samouth wrote:It is true that young cambodian go to have sex on Valentineday. To me, i really don't feel that they were raped or whatever. If she doesn't want to have sex with him, why didn't she ask him to bring her home, not continue to hotel or guesthouse.

I get that this is the Khmer attitude to this issue, but it's highly problematic. People are allowed to change their minds you know? If a girl says that she'll sleep with you tomorrow but she changes her mind shortly before the act, you are not entitled to fuck her. Even if both of you are already naked and you're about to put it in, if she says "no" that must be the end of it. If you proceed and have sex with her against her will, you are a rapist.

Yes i am feeling sick about this. Sometime rape cases in Cambodia are so funny. Some people, they went to guesthouse together and enjoyed stuff together. Then the day after, she reported to police that she was raped and demanded for compensation.

Sir_Quality_U_Feel wrote: Let us keep in mind that English isn't everyone's first language here. Some girls regret the decision they made. This happens all over the world. Just remember, if she says "no" at ANY TIME, a man must stop.

Jacket wrote:

Samouth wrote:

Jacket wrote:

Samouth wrote:It is true that young cambodian go to have sex on Valentineday. To me, i really don't feel that they were raped or whatever. If she doesn't want to have sex with him, why didn't she ask him to bring her home, not continue to hotel or guesthouse.

I get that this is the Khmer attitude to this issue, but it's highly problematic. People are allowed to change their minds you know? If a girl says that she'll sleep with you tomorrow but she changes her mind shortly before the act, you are not entitled to fuck her. Even if both of you are already naked and you're about to put it in, if she says "no" that must be the end of it. If you proceed and have sex with her against her will, you are a rapist.

Yes i am feeling sick about this. Sometime rape cases in Cambodia are so funny. Some people, they went to guesthouse together and enjoyed stuff together. Then the day after, she reported to police that she was raped and demanded for compensation.

I'm sure that that happens sometimes. But for me at least, the issue at hand is not how many girls actually get raped on valentine's day. It's more that it seems to be acceptable to say "Yeah, I'd fuck a girl against her will."
Men and women here alike (my wife is pretty much agreeing with what you're saying) are so indiferent and so unempathetic towards the well-being of their fellow human beings it's kind of concerning actually. In general, even if they don't say it, the S.E. Asian spirit seems to be "It's OK to abuse people for your own gain."

Goes right back to my argument about the Asians being behind the curve when it comes to humanism.