What happened to asking a mate to help you move house or double dating with the ugly friend?

xX.TROPA.Xx wrote: ↑Fri Apr 10, 2020 2:15 pm

jaynewcastle wrote: ↑Fri Apr 10, 2020 1:25 pm In a crisis, they say you find out who your real friends are

How much does a real friend cost? I had some flog talking about he is owed $50k another straight up asked me for $5k

Yeah, that doesn't sound like "can you lend me some emergency money for the rent and food".

For your real friends, you pay what you can to help them out, even if you might not get it back, because they are mates and you want to help if you can. And if you can't help, then you say sorry bro, cannot right now, hit me up next month when I might have some spare (or whatever.)
If someone asks you for money and you think, ew nah, not really, then that's ok too. You are not that invested in this person and you can't help everyone.

Username Taken wrote: ↑Fri Apr 10, 2020 3:11 pm Hamlet | Act 1, Scene 3

Neither a borrower nor a lender be;
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
This above all: to thine ownself be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Said by Polonius to his son who is visiting a foreign country. Apt I suppose. BTW Polonius gets stabbed through the arras and his son dies from a nick from a poisoned blade whilst shaving I think. Shakespeare' s idea of a good laugh at life. Caveat emptor.

I recently worked with a guy who I hadn't seen in a while. I asked how his family were and he told me he was getting a divorce and that his wife was being a cunt. He had always been a real spendthrift with his salary: Harley; quads; camper van and quite incredibly manged to rack up CC debts of around $40K.

A few weeks later he sent me a WA asking me to borrow cash ($5K). I ignored the msg but thought it he had a bit of a neck. I had no regrets as I would never have seen the money again. I barely even knew the guy (an acquaintance at best) but I admired his nerve...actually that's bollocks; there's nothing admirable about going cap-in-hand to people when you've been a profligate.

Anyway, one way to get rid of people - back in the West - that you don't want in your life is to lend them money.

Crazy that people you've barely met are hitting you up for money. You're hanging out at the wrong crusty old expat bars. : P

Not a single person asking for money here. I don't know a ton of people yet, but the ones I have bothered getting to know better are nice people who have jobs or handle their shit, and probably have family that they'd go to before a person they don't know That well. And I have yet to be here long enough to form any real friendships. That takes time.

xX.TROPA.Xx wrote: ↑Fri Apr 10, 2020 8:47 amIf we are friends and you want anything more then friendship from me you're out of luck, does that make me a bad friend?

To me you're likely talking about an acquaintance. I'm guessing you have actual Friends too. Everyone should have at least one or two. It's good to have someone who you know you can go to in time of need, be it for life problems, or financial support if it came down to it. ...or yeah, if they don't understand that you're not actually friends and they treat you as one, but you don't return the action, then they should find a new, real friend and you don't understand what friends are. But I'm guessing you're referring to acquaintances.

When I was talking to my best friend a month or so ago about my situation here with no job now, I didn't even ask and he told me to let him know if I needed anything or needed money to help me get through. I told him no and that I'll make my way home if I run out of money, but I know for a fact there would be money in an account in a day or two if need be, and I'd do the same for him if he were in trouble. That's one thing friends are for.

xX.TROPA.Xx wrote: ↑Fri Apr 10, 2020 7:29 am Is anyone else experiencing what I have been over the past week or so were almost every expat I've known or even just met is asking or at least fishing (telling some sob story) for money? I understand its a tough time but I mean its got to the point were people I've said "Hi" to a few times are sending me messages and its starting to really piss me off.

Times are tough for... EVERYONE!!!

That's just sounds like a normal day in PP expat world to me - guess you must be one of those folks who hangs out at Golden Sorya and the wall at Riverside.

xX.TROPA.Xx wrote: ↑Fri Apr 10, 2020 7:29 am Is anyone else experiencing what I have been over the past week or so were almost every expat I've known or even just met is asking or at least fishing (telling some sob story) for money? I understand its a tough time but I mean its got to the point were people I've said "Hi" to a few times are sending me messages and its starting to really piss me off.

Times are tough for... EVERYONE!!!

I basically take the advice of the Imam I met at a Mosque in Boston Ma when i learning about Islam. I asked him if giving money to beggars would please Allah. He said when you give money to beggars you do it because you want them to go away not because you actually want to help them or please Allah. In this case, you are not going to please Allah by doing this. Now whenever someone asks me for money this is what I think while I say no to them. Actually I do not say no to them. I will simply start speaking Portuguese to them knowing that few people in this part of the world will understand me. Be surprised how many people will rudely walk away from me after I say ok How much to them.
I will definitely not give money to a foreigner When I see a Frenchman come up to me and tell me a sob story I tell them to go to their embassy for help.

michael.stewart1 wrote: ↑Sat Apr 11, 2020 9:49 am

xX.TROPA.Xx wrote: ↑Fri Apr 10, 2020 7:29 am Is anyone else experiencing what I have been over the past week or so were almost every expat I've known or even just met is asking or at least fishing (telling some sob story) for money? I understand its a tough time but I mean its got to the point were people I've said "Hi" to a few times are sending me messages and its starting to really piss me off.

Times are tough for... EVERYONE!!!

I basically take the advice of the Imam I met at a Mosque in Boston Ma when i learning about Islam. I asked him if giving money to beggars would please Allah. He said when you give money to beggars you do it because you want them to go away not because you actually want to help them or please Allah. In this case, you are not going to please Allah by doing this. Now whenever someone asks me for money this is what I think while I say no to them. Actually I do not say no to them. I will simply start speaking Portuguese to them knowing that few people in this part of the world will understand me. Be surprised how many people will rudely walk away from me after I say ok How much to them.
I will definitely not give money to a foreigner When I see a Frenchman come up to me and tell me a sob story I tell them to go to their embassy for help.

Voce fala?