Image: New York Times

Published online: 10 Jan 2019

One woman 22 years younger than her 68 years old Swiss husband, uses his failing sex drive as a basis to demand additional material support. This is a significant shift in power within their intimate and sexual relations, brought on by differential ageing.

"My husband was afraid that I will leave him as he cannot fulfil my sex needs. I told him it is ok but it would be good if he can give me more money. He said he can give me only THB30,000 for now, but when after he dies, I can get all of his pension of THB50,000. I am fine now using the prosthetic penis to fulfil my sex drive. (A)"

"What he gives me, is his loyalty … if he had lots of money but no loyalty I wouldn’t be happy … He knew that I suffered for a long time. He would give anything to me. He fulfills my life. When I got the car, I bowed down on his feet. This is the best thing I’ve ever had. My life was like a dirty cloth which he picked up to clean. This has changed my life tremendously. He doesn’t treat me like a slave. I don’t have to take off his shoes or to trim his nails. He treats me as his wife. (F)"

"I become the target of complaints in the (parental) house but I just don’t get it. Sometimes I feel up to my throat … . I am so stressed. My dad is handicapped and forgets things … I have to say to my mum that I can take care of dad, but who will be with my husband. You all get money because I take care of my old husband. People say I can become a millionaire from money I get from my husband, if I don’t spend it on my family … (My mother) complains I don’t do a daughter’s job. (I)"

Men who built their hopes by investing romantically can become disillusioned and angry, depressed, or in some cases violent, when their unrealistic expectations are not met. For interpersonal relations to work better over the long-term, it seems that the men need to be more psychologically secure, reliable and trustworthy, that is expressed in their commitment to the partnership. Often, this happens if there was clarity about the limited parameters of the relationship when moving in together, and if their exchanges have few pretensions of romantic ‘love’, but are more instrumental, defined around her care provision for his material support. Over time such ‘commodified’ exchanges and relations can become based on trust and involve emotional investments from her side.

What seems to matter is the degree to which a woman becomes empowered through transformations, in her own life aspirations, in her exchanges with her Western partner, and in her pivotal role in her relations with her own family...

A second factor that can relatively empower a woman over time is being significantly younger than her husband. As their partnership advances over years, they enter different stages of the life-course, which transforms their personal relations and the exchanges. His ageing, infirmity, health difficulties and dementia can lead to an increasing dependence on her care provision. When he is dependent on her for eldercare, she is relatively empowered to stand up to him in the household, able to refuse his sexual advances, and make demands for greater material support in exchange for providing care.

Overall, perhaps our most striking finding is the radical degree to which almost every aspect of a woman’s life is transformed. Socio-economic understandings of individual social mobility, hypergamy (marrying up or down), or ‘status exchange’ theories, do little to capture the scale and depth of her individual life transformation. A woman is literally a different person when she reaches the other side of her personal ‘narrative arc’

full study https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10 ... 19.1565403

Any good marriage the woman and man should BOTH come out transformed when they BOTH reach the end of their fucking narrative arc.

orussey98 wrote: ↑Tue Dec 03, 2019 2:22 pm

Fuckin hell, look at the thigh muscles on her That would sting a bit

what he said
this guy >topic32137-10.html#p381773
chuckle

One of the biggest indicators of divorce in the West is extreme age differences of 10 or more years and it's irregardless of the races of the couple or at least that was accounted for. So the long term consequence is a much higher risk of divorce.

" So the long term consequence is a much higher risk of divorce"

And a much higher risk of ending up skint ...

DaveG wrote: ↑Wed Dec 04, 2019 7:52 am " So the long term consequence is a much higher risk of divorce"

And a much higher risk of ending up skint ...

Long term consequences are death and a widowed partner, not divorce.