"To die in a hospital is not on my radar."

Nor mine nor in some euphemism called a hospice. I want to see my wife's loving face before I kick off in the next 3-6 months. I do not cherish that fact, but I will leave fulfilled by the fact that all that is left will be under her capable supervision.

So, I intend to devote the remainder of my time left to find ways to reduce the financial struggle the absence of my SS check will impose.

Any last wishes? Just one. In my last. moment of consciousness I would like to see my most unfavorite posters and politicos swaying from the highest limb of my 50 year old mango tree.

I suspect the title puts off posters who think they will live forever. Damn shame. There is some fine thinking here.

God's going to have to drag me kicking and screaming out of this place. I am just refuseing to go without a fight just because I'm old and someone says die you old bugger die.
Life's too good to give it up.

This thread is kinda dark hehe

JL Gray wrote: ↑Sat Aug 24, 2019 2:06 pm This thread is kinda dark hehe

Do you mean a dark Gray ?

Duncan wrote: ↑Sat Aug 24, 2019 1:53 pm God's going to have to drag me kicking and screaming out of this place. I am just refuseing to go without a fight just because I'm old and someone says die you old bugger die.
Life's too good to give it up.

Shit you grumpy ole fart, God aint a comming for you, He is sending the Devil with some well armed helpers.

I've had numerous friends commit suicide over the years, no one in Cambodia though.

Sadly there is a stigma attached to suicide whereas I'm in the minority in that they have my respect. They had the balls to actually go through with it. As sad as it sounds, I do not have an issue if someone chooses to leave on their own terms.

I’ve been close a few times, I deal with anxiety and depression almost on a daily basis but I’ve learnt better coping mechanisms as I’ve got older.

I couldn’t kill myself, but I understand the feelings of hopelessness and helplessness and how they can totally overwhelm you.

I’m grateful for my friends in Cambodia - I’m part of a very supportive community and that has made a huge difference in my life.

If anyone ever needs to talk, I’ll buy the coffee.

I've nearly died several times (in the KOW), and like Roz, deal with what Churchill called the "black dog." I've managed to keep my head above water but owing to a personal issue have had some depression as of late. I'm dealing with it and see no reason to further it along, which is positive.

Hospice? No. Not in a hospital or clinic. If one person who loves me is by my side holding my hand when I kick the bucket, I'll consider myself incredibly lucky. I don't want to be in a nursing home propped up in a wheelchair against a wall somewhere waiting my lucky turn for a shower and a cold pancake and would much rather choose my own date with the grim reaper.

Death is a topic I don't mind discussing, and it doesn't put me off at all. I've lived with it nearby most of my life, a blessing and a curse.

I always liked this, by Henry Scott Holland:

Death is nothing at all. It does not count. I have only slipped away into the next room. Nothing has happened. Everything remains exactly as it was. I am I, and you are you, and the old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched, unchanged. Whatever we were to each other, that we are still. Call me by the old familiar name. Speak of me in the easy way which you always used. Put no difference into your tone. Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow. Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes that we enjoyed together. Play, smile, think of me, pray for me. Let my name be ever the household word that it always was. Let it be spoken without an effort, without the ghost of a shadow upon it. Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same as it ever was. There is absolute and unbroken continuity. What is this death but a negligible accident? Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight? I am but waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just round the corner. All is well. Nothing is hurt; nothing is lost. One brief moment and all will be as it was before. How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting when we meet again!