Chiarashine Photography The author and her fiancé.

Tria Chang
2/2/2019

I learned to think of all Asians as less desirable and to be turned off by people who were turned on by me.

"As I started to consider lifting my relationship ban, that old white ghost came back again: the whispers of Asian fetish. He has a pattern of dating Asian women. Do you know how many Asian girlfriends he’s had? He just might have an Asian fetish."

"I couldn’t be the girlfriend of someone who had an Asian fetish because that would make me complicit in a pattern that was rooted in violence and colonization."

"Despite his tendency to be defensive (is that one of those hot white guy traits?), he took my request to step outside himself seriously. He asked me questions, and he listened to my answers. We delved into not only the dynamic between Asian females and white males but also unfair portrayals of Asian men throughout history, and the backlash that public figures like Constance Wu and Chloe Kim have contended with for dating white men"

"“You can rationalize your dating history all you want,” I said one night in bed. (Do Asian women have a reputation for being good at pillow talk by the way? Because I feel like I’m killing it.) “But you can’t deny how it looks from the outside. And most importantly, you have to consider how it makes the women you’ve dated feel. Think about how it feels to be one in a line of many women who look like you. How replaceable must that make one feel? How demeaning is that?”

Full https://www.huffpost.com/entry/unlearni ... 93b203b7ed

Please, cry me a river. If he's about "hitting it and quitting it" she should realize it and dump him, if that's what she wants. It not, shut up and be happy

OP, are you trying to send us a message that you're a misunderstood Asian woman?

You date an individual, not a race. If you have a good individual from any racial group, be happy. If you have an individual who is not good from any racial group, break up.

There are a lot of individuals I would not date, and it is not because of their race. There are individuals I would date, and it is not because of their race.

Actually, they seem to be the same color, which isn't white.

This is white:

sigmoid wrote: ↑Mon Jul 29, 2019 7:18 pm Actually, they seem to be the same color, which isn't white.

This is white:

Gee, had me worried there for a bit. I thought my computer had run out of ink.

sigmoid wrote: ↑Mon Jul 29, 2019 7:18 pm Actually, they seem to be the same color, which isn't white.

This is white:

That's not white, it's light gray. Anyway that woman sounds like a totally neurotic headache, who the fuck has time for all that analysis?

John Bingham wrote: ↑Mon Jul 29, 2019 8:31 pm

sigmoid wrote: ↑Mon Jul 29, 2019 7:18 pm Actually, they seem to be the same color, which isn't white.

This is white:

That's not white, it's light gray. Anyway that woman sounds like a totally neurotic headache, who the fuck has time for all that analysis?

Some are just happy to be in the company of anyone. (I don't count myself in that group, yet!!) Over-analytical? I tend to agree. Is it possible that some look for things that are not there, in order to satisfy or justify their own thought processes?? I am pretty sure we have all been in great/good/bad/indifferent relationships over the years.