Lack of appreciation in the KOW

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Lack of appreciation in the KOW

Post by Tarndog » Fri May 10, 2019 8:06 am

Sadly, I have had the occasion to say this several times throughout my time in Cambodia, but it bears repeating, especially after the last 24 hours.

What is it with Cambodians, who seem to lack common courtesy, appreciation or respect (toward foreigners or everyone, who can really know)? It's as though we're only here for them. I think the only reason we're tolerated is because they want our money.

Yesterday I went to eat lunch at the same place I've been eating 2-3x a day for 2 years. Luckily, when I got there the place was empty, and they only had 1 piece of chicken left. Well, the guy knows that's what I eat, so he serves it up on a plate, and starts to bring it to me. At that moment, a youngish woman of about 25 comes and wants to eat chicken. He tells her they don't have any more. Upon hearing this, I offer it to her, but the shop owner tells me 'no', saying I was there first. I again tell him it's ok, look at them both and tell them she can have it, and that I will eat something else. So he gives the chicken, which I hadn't even received yet, to her, and then she complains about the price, which I know is the same price for all Cambodians, even myself. She doesn't even think to thank me for giving the last piece to her, and then walks away after paying.

Fast forward 18 hours to this morning, I'm eating my breakfast at the same shop, same table, same chair, and some Khmer grandmother pulls up on a moto with her 2 grandkids, about 1.5 and 5 years old. As the grandmother is trying to get off the moto, she is unable to support the weight of the moto while attempting to get the kickstand down, and the moto knocks her backward, flat on her ass, to the ground, on top of all three of them, as the 2 kids had just climbed off and were standing next to their grandma waiting for her to park the bike. Being the closest, I quickly got up and lifted the moto off them and set the kickstand in place. Again, not even a thought of saying 'thanks'.

I know that a couple of people here on CEO still say how great all these people are, and sth about being with the wrong kind of people. But I wasn't with either of these people. I will accept that some Khmer might have said thanks in these situations, and that it is not necessarily representative of 100% of their population. But in America, I think you'd get a thanks in 100% of those situations.

It's not as if they don't know the words 'thank you', but damned if they say it.
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Re: Lack of appreciation in the KOW

Post by angkorjohn2 » Fri May 10, 2019 8:37 am

Tarndog wrote:
Fri May 10, 2019 8:06 am
Sadly, I have had the occasion to say this several times throughout my time in Cambodia, but it bears repeating, especially after the last 24 hours.

What is it with Cambodians, who seem to lack common courtesy, appreciation or respect (toward foreigners or everyone, who can really know)? It's as though we're only here for them. I think the only reason we're tolerated is because they want our money.
You're eating at a $2 chicken and rice place 2-3 times a day and you think Khmers only see you for your money? :facepalm:

In the situations you describe they were probably embarrased also I have no idea how you look or dress or come across, sometimes it can be shyness, sometimes they might not know the words especially the granny other times they are pig ignorant with no manners. Same as every single country in the world you get the full spectrum of folks. I do notice it is rare for any khmer to ever hold the door open for you or say thanks if you do for them, I don't know why. With my partner and her family I often have to remind them of manners, but these are maybe my western manners I'm trying to impose, asking to say please and thanks and excuse me.
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Re: Lack of appreciation in the KOW

Post by chkwoot » Fri May 10, 2019 8:44 am

"Common courtesy" and "common sense" do not exist. If they did, then everyone everywhere would think the same.What Asia lacks is empathy. They can feel sympathy and pity, but empathy is a foreign concept. Also, 21 years ago I was told by a very well educated Asian woman that "familiarity breeds contempt." I completely understood this idea, but vehemently disagreed. That quickly changed. The "closer" you get to others, the more they will try to lie/cheat/steal/scam/etc you. Not everyone of course, but a large majority. Welcome to Cambodia.
I am sooooo very sorry if you can't understand or appreciate my sarcastic facetiousness.
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Re: Lack of appreciation in the KOW

Post by Tarndog » Fri May 10, 2019 9:23 am

angkorjohn2 wrote:
Fri May 10, 2019 8:37 am
Tarndog wrote:
Fri May 10, 2019 8:06 am
Sadly, I have had the occasion to say this several times throughout my time in Cambodia, but it bears repeating, especially after the last 24 hours.

What is it with Cambodians, who seem to lack common courtesy, appreciation or respect (toward foreigners or everyone, who can really know)? It's as though we're only here for them. I think the only reason we're tolerated is because they want our money.
You're eating at a $2 chicken and rice place 2-3 times a day and you think Khmers only see you for your money? :facepalm:

In the situations you describe they were probably embarrased also I have no idea how you look or dress or come across, sometimes it can be shyness, sometimes they might not know the words especially the granny other times they are pig ignorant with no manners. Same as every single country in the world you get the full spectrum of folks. I do notice it is rare for any khmer to ever hold the door open for you or say thanks if you do for them, I don't know why. With my partner and her family I often have to remind them of manners, but these are maybe my western manners I'm trying to impose, asking to say please and thanks and excuse me.
Should I be flattered you care enough about me to know where I eat?
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Re: Lack of appreciation in the KOW

Post by angkorjohn2 » Fri May 10, 2019 9:37 am

Tarndog wrote:
Fri May 10, 2019 9:23 am
angkorjohn2 wrote:
Fri May 10, 2019 8:37 am
Tarndog wrote:
Fri May 10, 2019 8:06 am
Sadly, I have had the occasion to say this several times throughout my time in Cambodia, but it bears repeating, especially after the last 24 hours.

What is it with Cambodians, who seem to lack common courtesy, appreciation or respect (toward foreigners or everyone, who can really know)? It's as though we're only here for them. I think the only reason we're tolerated is because they want our money.
You're eating at a $2 chicken and rice place 2-3 times a day and you think Khmers only see you for your money? :facepalm:

In the situations you describe they were probably embarrased also I have no idea how you look or dress or come across, sometimes it can be shyness, sometimes they might not know the words especially the granny other times they are pig ignorant with no manners. Same as every single country in the world you get the full spectrum of folks. I do notice it is rare for any khmer to ever hold the door open for you or say thanks if you do for them, I don't know why. With my partner and her family I often have to remind them of manners, but these are maybe my western manners I'm trying to impose, asking to say please and thanks and excuse me.
Should I be flattered you care enough about me to know where I eat?
You brought it up sir, no need to get upset about it, but judging by this post you perhaps are a bit thin skinned. You think Cambodians look at you and only tolerate you because of your big western bucks whilst you eat in a cheap local place? Hardly likely.
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Re: Lack of appreciation in the KOW

Post by Tarndog » Fri May 10, 2019 9:44 am

Just curious how you know where I eat. Nothing more than that.
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Re: Lack of appreciation in the KOW

Post by angkorjohn2 » Fri May 10, 2019 9:49 am

Tarndog wrote:
Fri May 10, 2019 9:44 am
Just curious how you know where I eat. Nothing more than that.
I don't know maybe you saying ....

"Yesterday I went to eat lunch at the same place I've been eating 2-3x a day for 2 years. Luckily, when I got there the place was empty, and they only had 1 piece of chicken left. Well, the guy knows that's what I eat, so he serves it up on a plate, and starts to bring it to me. At that moment, a youngish woman of about 25 comes and wants to eat chicken. "

...gave it away? Unless it's KFC sounds very much like a local Khmer restaurant
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Re: Lack of appreciation in the KOW

Post by Tarndog » Fri May 10, 2019 9:56 am

angkorjohn2 wrote:
Fri May 10, 2019 9:49 am
Tarndog wrote:
Fri May 10, 2019 9:44 am
Just curious how you know where I eat. Nothing more than that.
I don't know maybe you saying ....

"Yesterday I went to eat lunch at the same place I've been eating 2-3x a day for 2 years. Luckily, when I got there the place was empty, and they only had 1 piece of chicken left. Well, the guy knows that's what I eat, so he serves it up on a plate, and starts to bring it to me. At that moment, a youngish woman of about 25 comes and wants to eat chicken. "

...gave it away? Unless it's KFC sounds very much like a local Khmer restaurant
Don't give up your day job. Your deductive reasoning skills need sharpening.
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Re: Lack of appreciation in the KOW

Post by Artisan » Fri May 10, 2019 9:58 am

I could say you are right but then we both would know you are wrong.
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Re: Lack of appreciation in the KOW

Post by Kuroneko » Fri May 10, 2019 10:00 am

British Politeness and the Progress of Western Manners: An Eighteenth-Century Enigma

IN March 1802, the peace treaty of Amiens was signed, resulting in a two-way flow of travellers across the English Channel. Among those arriving at Dover was Joseph Fiévée, printer by trade, littérateur by vocation, and latterly politican by profession. It is said that he was commissioned by Bonaparte himself to report on affairs in London.

In any event, his findings were published in the Mercure and reprinted in a work whose title, Lettres sur l'Angleterre, et réflexions sur la philosopkie du XVIIIe siècle, challenged comparison with the most famous of French commentaries on England, that of Voltaire. It reads as polemic rather than analysis, confronting what Fiévée took to be serious errors made by his countrymen when they wrote about Britain. But little of the book was what one might expect of such a work. Fiévée was not primarily interested in British politics, law and government, but in the character and manners of the people. His conclusions may be summed up in one of his many generalizations. ‘If civilization … is the art of rendering society pleasing, agreeable and congenial, the English constitute the least civilised nation of Europe.’(Revised February 23 1996) https://www.researchgate.net/publicatio ... ury_Enigma
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