Lack of appreciation in the KOW
Re: Lack of appreciation in the KOW
Very well put..talltuktuk wrote: ↑Sun Dec 29, 2019 7:10 pm This is a culture that was brutally divided, with all sense of community and unity ripped away from them and destroyed by the Khmer Rouge. The mindset of every person for themselves was programmed into anyone who was allowed to live. When it was all over, that mentality rebuilt the country. There is no empathy, selflessness, no understanding of one’s impact on the people around them because that was deleted from their programming. We hold the door for someone because we recognize that another human being is in that space and it’s wrong to let it shut in their face. Whether we realize this or not, we do this out of consideration for a fellow human being. That consideration was destroyed during the genocide. People from this culture are largely incapable of understanding that there are other people in the world and that their behavior - both good and bad - affects those people. Thus they trample through life never considering anything but themselves. Traffic is a good example of this. Traffic here isn’t bad because of the volume, it’s bad because each driver doesn’t give a shit about how their behavior affects the other drivers around them. The only thing that matters is themselves. Driving into oncoming traffic, lining up 15 people wide at a 2 lane intersection, blindly pulling out in front of each other, the list goes on... it’s all based on not giving a shit about anyone but themselves. The crazy part about all of this is that many of them know this behavior for what it is but refuse to acknowledge or change it. A good example of this is I always hold the door for whoever is behind me. Every single Khmer person has smiled and acknowledged it or even said thank you. So they recognize it as considerate behavior but they will never hold the door for someone else. While this behavior is infuriating sometimes, I consciously choose not to hold it against them because 1) we have a cultural difference and it’s not my place to demand that they change, 2) they’ve been kept largely unintelligent by the powers that be and simply lack critical thinking skills to analyze situations and change, and 3) they have been hopeless and oppressed their entire lives, why should they give a shit? I love this country and the people in it - just living here has been an education in many ways.
Re: Lack of appreciation in the KOW
Yes but you can check if the ass matches the front as they walk past..Phnom Poon wrote: ↑Mon Dec 30, 2019 6:06 pmlol
it's a fine retort, but liable to invite an 'OK, Boomer' response, especially if you're older, or as a projection if you're notUsername Taken wrote: ↑Mon Dec 30, 2019 3:49 pm When a women's libber says, "You don't have to hold the door because I'm a lady".
I reply, "I'm not. I'm holding it because I'm a gentleman".
just let the door swing back in their face
or slap their arse
Re: Lack of appreciation in the KOW
If she is a womens libber you could try opening the door at 80 mph.....Mishmash wrote: ↑Tue Dec 31, 2019 11:49 pmYes but you can check if the ass matches the front as they walk past..Phnom Poon wrote: ↑Mon Dec 30, 2019 6:06 pmlol
it's a fine retort, but liable to invite an 'OK, Boomer' response, especially if you're older, or as a projection if you're notUsername Taken wrote: ↑Mon Dec 30, 2019 3:49 pm When a women's libber says, "You don't have to hold the door because I'm a lady".
I reply, "I'm not. I'm holding it because I'm a gentleman".
just let the door swing back in their face
or slap their arse
Re: Lack of appreciation in the KOW
I really have better things to do than read this entire thread, but my experience of Khmer's is that, actually, they're not any different to any other race.
Regardless of whether you know them on a personal level or not, If you have any kind of similarity to them, whether you just happen to work in the same place or share something in common with them, whatever that may be, they will be as friendly and polite as any other race. They will hold the door open for you, they will say thank you if you hold the door open for them. If they don't know you personally but they recognse you on a day-to-day level, they will at least smile at you, or sometimes say hello.
It is absolutely no different whatsoever to life in the UK. In fact, I'd say that Khmer's are more likely to be polite to you if you share even the remotest thing in common with them. If they've never seen you before and are unlikely to ever see you again, they can be the rudest, most uncaring people ever to exist. Exactly as the British, and most other races are.
Cambodia has moved on extremely quickly from it's nasty past. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that they are so desperate to delete their horrible history from their past that thy can often go a little over the top with their politeness. Again, there are two different attitudes to politeness - ones where you have something in common with the person you're interacting with and ones where they'll never interact with you again.
The main problem that Cambodian culture has right now, and I speak as someone who was a teacher here for many years, is that of the attitude towards education. There is a definite 'that'll do' culture that doesn't just permeate throughout education, it permeates throughout Cambodian society as a whole. There is an uncaring attitude towards many things we in the west would give more care and responsibility to.
But who am I to say that their attitude is wrong and mine is right? It's just a different way of thinking, but to be honest, as a Westerner, I do wish Cambodians would give more care and take more responsibility towards certain aspects of their society.
Regardless of whether you know them on a personal level or not, If you have any kind of similarity to them, whether you just happen to work in the same place or share something in common with them, whatever that may be, they will be as friendly and polite as any other race. They will hold the door open for you, they will say thank you if you hold the door open for them. If they don't know you personally but they recognse you on a day-to-day level, they will at least smile at you, or sometimes say hello.
It is absolutely no different whatsoever to life in the UK. In fact, I'd say that Khmer's are more likely to be polite to you if you share even the remotest thing in common with them. If they've never seen you before and are unlikely to ever see you again, they can be the rudest, most uncaring people ever to exist. Exactly as the British, and most other races are.
Cambodia has moved on extremely quickly from it's nasty past. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that they are so desperate to delete their horrible history from their past that thy can often go a little over the top with their politeness. Again, there are two different attitudes to politeness - ones where you have something in common with the person you're interacting with and ones where they'll never interact with you again.
The main problem that Cambodian culture has right now, and I speak as someone who was a teacher here for many years, is that of the attitude towards education. There is a definite 'that'll do' culture that doesn't just permeate throughout education, it permeates throughout Cambodian society as a whole. There is an uncaring attitude towards many things we in the west would give more care and responsibility to.
But who am I to say that their attitude is wrong and mine is right? It's just a different way of thinking, but to be honest, as a Westerner, I do wish Cambodians would give more care and take more responsibility towards certain aspects of their society.
The difference between animals and humans is that animals would never allow the dumb ones to lead the pack.
Re: Lack of appreciation in the KOW
I think that it is a big mistake to say the Khmer Rouge deleted some empathy gene from the Khmer soul.
Yes, I have many examples from my wife of her being treated worse than a starving puppy as a little girl by blood relatives and village members. She learned to catch rats, snake heads, frogs and climb trees for sustenance at an early age and feed her younger sister.
But, she also has so many beautiful stories of gals she worked in the factories with who shared their rice and meager meals, gave her some riel to get by. Gave her money for medicine and she returned the favors.
I think it goes back to the individual.
I have been researching how and why people survived the Khmer Rouge.
I can understand the premise of them desensitizing the survivors.
But, they also killed all the teachers.
The Khmer people are back in school.
Some, like my wife's sister have no desire to even learn to read and write and are satisfied with a take and take and take mentality.
Others, pull themselves up and strive to be better and learn things that perhaps Westerners take for granted.
My wife told me about her Uncle closing the door in her face when she smelled rice cooking barring her from eating. She climbed a tree and picked some fruit. This girl grew up to be a lady who took care of her father rather than marry. Her nieces and nephews come to her instead of their mothers for advice.
She worked for decades 6-7 days a week with OT to make a better life for herself. She took English as an adult and continues to expand her vocabulary.
Sadly, she is often shunned at weddings and house warmings she feels she must attend by people from her village. I tell her FUCK EM. Don't go to these bullshit events and set yourself up to be disappointed by the same idiots who treated you like shit as a kid.
Khmer people can one by one find this lost gene if it was indeed lost.
I must say that a great deal of politeness and respect one receives is false and just whitewash covering true feelings.
I know in the USA that half the population wants to exterminate me for my political views even if they say excuse me or are courteous at an intersection.
I wonder what party brainwashed them?
Yes, I have many examples from my wife of her being treated worse than a starving puppy as a little girl by blood relatives and village members. She learned to catch rats, snake heads, frogs and climb trees for sustenance at an early age and feed her younger sister.
But, she also has so many beautiful stories of gals she worked in the factories with who shared their rice and meager meals, gave her some riel to get by. Gave her money for medicine and she returned the favors.
I think it goes back to the individual.
I have been researching how and why people survived the Khmer Rouge.
I can understand the premise of them desensitizing the survivors.
But, they also killed all the teachers.
The Khmer people are back in school.
Some, like my wife's sister have no desire to even learn to read and write and are satisfied with a take and take and take mentality.
Others, pull themselves up and strive to be better and learn things that perhaps Westerners take for granted.
My wife told me about her Uncle closing the door in her face when she smelled rice cooking barring her from eating. She climbed a tree and picked some fruit. This girl grew up to be a lady who took care of her father rather than marry. Her nieces and nephews come to her instead of their mothers for advice.
She worked for decades 6-7 days a week with OT to make a better life for herself. She took English as an adult and continues to expand her vocabulary.
Sadly, she is often shunned at weddings and house warmings she feels she must attend by people from her village. I tell her FUCK EM. Don't go to these bullshit events and set yourself up to be disappointed by the same idiots who treated you like shit as a kid.
Khmer people can one by one find this lost gene if it was indeed lost.
I must say that a great deal of politeness and respect one receives is false and just whitewash covering true feelings.
I know in the USA that half the population wants to exterminate me for my political views even if they say excuse me or are courteous at an intersection.
I wonder what party brainwashed them?
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