Being a “single” woman in Phnom Penh

This is where our community discusses almost anything! While we're mainly a Cambodia expat discussion forum and talk about expat life here, we debate about almost everything. Even if you're a tourist passing through Southeast Asia and want to connect with expatriates living and working in Cambodia, this is the first section of our site that you should check out. Our members start their own discussions or post links to other blogs and/or news articles they find interesting and want to chat about. So join in the fun and start new topics, or feel free to comment on anything our community members have already started! We also have some Khmer members here as well, but English is the main language used on CEO. You're welcome to have a look around, and if you decide you want to participate, you can become a part our international expat community by signing up for a free account.
User avatar
rozzieoz
Expatriate
Posts: 4862
Joined: Wed Nov 26, 2014 3:51 pm
Reputation: 2590
Australia

Being a “single” woman in Phnom Penh

Post by rozzieoz »

It can be a really sucky experience at times.

Like tonight -

I was sitting at one of my regular bars. I’d had a rough day and wanted a quiet drink on my own to try to shake off the day.

A drunkish Aussie guy walks in and slaps the shoulders of the guy sitting next to me. Then he came up behind me and motioned with his hands as if to slap my shoulders, but stopped.

I didn’t say a word, just looked st him. So he says things like “ooohhh she’s so angry now she’s going to slap me.”

I didn’t say a word, turned my head and did not look at him.

Then he sits next to me trying to engage me. Me. Not one of the men sitting scattered in the bar. Me.

He started asking “where are you from? Where? What...,not talking now?? Are you angry with me? Ooghhhh” etc etc. He just wouldn’t stop.

Eventually I turned to him and said “enough, please. I’ve done nothing to engage you, please just leave me alone.”

He yelled at me - told me I was a cunt, told me to just fuck off, I had no right to be there. He went on and on until the bar staff shushed him.

As a man, what would you have done in that situation?

As a woman, at times I feel powerless. :(
Once you've read the dictionary, every other book is just a remix.
User avatar
StroppyChops
The Missionary Man
Posts: 10598
Joined: Tue May 06, 2014 11:24 am
Reputation: 1032
Australia

Re: Being a “single” woman in Phnom Penh

Post by StroppyChops »

I'm sorry that happened to you Rozzie, that's pretty damned ugly.

Not sure what you mean by "as a man" - if I was present and saw that happening to a woman on her own, I'd intervene, as I'm sure most of the men here would.

If the guy approached me and got to that level of harassment I'd put an end to it - but, and here's the injustice - because he's a limp-dick who bravely tackles solo women, he wouldn't start it with me. Because he's a coward.

Did he happen to be a shorter guy with an obvious substance abuse problem, possibly got to ranting about service history?
Bodge: This ain't Kansas, and the neighbours ate Toto!
User avatar
rozzieoz
Expatriate
Posts: 4862
Joined: Wed Nov 26, 2014 3:51 pm
Reputation: 2590
Australia

Re: Being a “single” woman in Phnom Penh

Post by rozzieoz »

He was certainly shorter than me. Far more obnoxious though.
Once you've read the dictionary, every other book is just a remix.
Tarndog
Expatriate
Posts: 535
Joined: Sun Aug 19, 2018 3:01 pm
Reputation: 146
Cambodia

Re: Being a “single” woman in Phnom Penh

Post by Tarndog »

I don't doubt any bit of your account. I had a similar experience many years ago by an Irish puke who approached me cursing and threatening me like all hell had boiled over because I had kicked the shit out of his friend 2 months previously.

After about 10 minutes of encouraging the idiot to go back to the table he was getting drunk with his friends at, he cold cocked me straight in the face and left. I momentarily thought about what I should do. Clearly someone needed to teach this guy a lesson. I was drinking beer by myself, just like you, not talking to anyone, just trying to get lost in my thoughts, and some idiot gets into your face and doesn't take a hint.

Well, I quickly decided to chase after him, not wanting to forgo a teaching moment. When I caught up to him, he again threatened me. I asked, what kind of man cold cocks someone and runs away?

Well about 5 seconds later, he was laying unconscious in his own pool of blood. He was definitely taught a lesson, as were his friends, but I reflected on that afterwards and determined that even though I did nothing to cause the incident, I was still partially responsible for it because it was my decision to have a drink in a bar, knowing full well people who go to bars often get drunk and do stupid things.

So while it's too bad you experienced that, one solution might be to drink in the safe confines of your own home, especially since you weren't in a talking mood. For me, I just don't go to bars anymore because even if a fight doesn't break out, there are too many undesirables to look at. I quit even socially drinking and going to bars as a result. Amazing how effective that has been. Might be worth a try.
Anchor Moy
Expatriate
Posts: 13458
Joined: Wed May 28, 2014 11:37 pm
Reputation: 3974
Tokelau

Re: Being a “single” woman in Phnom Penh

Post by Anchor Moy »

It sucks, and does sound a bit freaky. However, PP bars are prime spots for encountering the weird and the wasted and the wankers. Maybe you need to find a better (safer) bar to hang out in ?

And too bad you didn't film him acting like an arsehole and then post it on CEO. He would be famous. ;-)
User avatar
Spigzy
Expatriate
Posts: 1925
Joined: Fri Oct 12, 2018 9:50 am
Reputation: 1694
Great Britain

Re: Being a “single” woman in Phnom Penh

Post by Spigzy »

That really sucks. Only advice I'd give is don't drink by yourself in establishments where low-life guys hang out. If you've got to go solo & want peace & quiet, halve your intake and go somewhere like one of the Metro bars or similar ilk. Might cost a few bob more, but the price tags there also keep the low-life away.
Meum est propositum in taberna mori,
ut sint Guinness proxima morientis ori.
tunc cantabunt letius angelorum chori:
"Sit Deus propitius huic potatori."
Jcml19
Expatriate
Posts: 236
Joined: Thu Feb 14, 2019 7:18 pm
Reputation: 70
United States of America

Re: Being a “single” woman in Phnom Penh

Post by Jcml19 »

Sorry to hear about the experience... Some dudes are just douchebags especially those that dont get the hint.

My strategy is just stay clear away from them bc they are not worth the effort or collateral damage onto yoself. Turds will be turds and its best to avoid.

The world works in mysterious ways so the likelihood of justice is inevitable :D
explorer
Expatriate
Posts: 2417
Joined: Sat Apr 14, 2018 9:37 pm
Reputation: 768
Australia

Re: Being a “single” woman in Phnom Penh

Post by explorer »

There are a lot of men in Cambodia any sensible person just avoids. It doesnt just happen to women. It happens to men too.

You can hope you meet someone good, you can get on well with, and do things together.
## I thought I knew all the answers, but they changed all the questions. ##
User avatar
John Bingham
Expatriate
Posts: 13674
Joined: Sun Dec 07, 2014 11:26 pm
Reputation: 8892
Cambodia

Re: Being a “single” woman in Phnom Penh

Post by John Bingham »

Sounds like a total knob-head, I don't understand people who go around being so rude.
Silence, exile, and cunning.
User avatar
rozzieoz
Expatriate
Posts: 4862
Joined: Wed Nov 26, 2014 3:51 pm
Reputation: 2590
Australia

Re: Being a “single” woman in Phnom Penh

Post by rozzieoz »

John Bingham wrote:Sounds like a total knob-head, I don't understand people who go around being so rude.
This sort of thing happens regularly. One really big reason why I wanted my own bar.
Once you've read the dictionary, every other book is just a remix.
Post Reply Previous topicNext topic
  • Similar Topics
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Ahrefs [Bot], Ong Tay, Semrush [Bot] and 1587 guests