JerryCan wrote: ↑Sat Apr 20, 2019 10:52 am Explorer,

I know you're probably learning a lot of things, and it's always good to learn...but it's probably a good idea not to post up about everything you're discovering. You're probably young (nothing wrong with that), but there is a value to sitting back and realising you don't know very much (as we all have to).

It's alright, don't worry about changing the world in here Cambodia, many of "us" have been around far longer and have a lot more experience than you do, not just here but in life in general too. As said you're probably young, and you've only been here a year? or two.

So maybe lighten up on the posts from whatever insights you might gain as this is a public forum and your posts can be a bit cluttering and a distraction for what's really important, and understand you are a novice and don't know much compared to some seasoned expats (and not all of us are bar hopping rejects), but if you have a writing bug like I do, try writing in a journal or personal blog and that way it can help with whatever writing urges you have.

As for lurking around, do as much of that as you want and commenting is fine, but more so in the form of a question is probably better. Read a lot, learn to discern what is what, and most importantly (one of the hardest lessons I learned as a teenager) learn to listen.

But seriously mate, I think you've got a good heart, you just need to utilise it in the right way.

JerryCan

I know you are being sincere but I believe you're also being naive and he is tempting illicit responses.

Ravensnest wrote: ↑Sat Apr 20, 2019 11:08 am
I know you are being sincere but I believe you're also being naive and he is tempting illicit responses.

I very well might be naive, but it didn't hurt me to post what I did.

JerryCan wrote: ↑Sat Apr 20, 2019 11:09 am

Ravensnest wrote: ↑Sat Apr 20, 2019 11:08 am
I know you are being sincere but I believe you're also being naive and he is tempting illicit responses.

I very well might be naive, but it didn't hurt me to post what I did.

I agreed with you.

But it is worth noting, especially on the tail end of the building thread, how some houses are saunas from trapped attic heat, and from the brick walls being a thermal mass to trap heat.

A lot of people would not think about these things in the same way, because our housing where we come from is designed to retain heat, not eliminate it.

Not everyone here in this forum is a grizzled old experienced expat, and that is not the qualifier for membership here.

Explorer, you are correct, and it would be wise then, if you are selecting a room, to choose one that is not on the top floor, or an end unit with a exposed outside wall that gets a lot of direct sunlight.

Its fun to take the piss, but its not fun to be pissed on.

RickyBobby wrote: ↑Sat Apr 20, 2019 11:52 am
A lot of people would not think about these things in the same way, because our housing where we come from is designed to retain heat, not eliminate it.

I don't know the housing where I come from is designed to keep the heat out and provide shade.

JerryCan wrote: ↑Sat Apr 20, 2019 10:52 am Explorer,

I know you're probably learning a lot of things, and it's always good to learn...but it's probably a good idea not to post up about everything you're discovering. You're probably young (nothing wrong with that), but there is a value to sitting back and realising you don't know very much (as we all have to).

It's alright, don't worry about changing the world in here Cambodia, many of "us" have been around far longer and have a lot more experience than you do, not just here but in life in general too. As said you're probably young, and you've only been here a year? or two.

So maybe lighten up on the posts from whatever insights you might gain as this is a public forum and your posts can be a bit cluttering and a distraction for what's really important, and understand you are a novice and don't know much compared to some seasoned expats (and not all of us are bar hopping rejects), but if you have a writing bug like I do, try writing in a journal or personal blog and that way it can help with whatever writing urges you have.

As for lurking around, do as much of that as you want and commenting is fine, but more so in the form of a question is probably better. Read a lot, learn to discern what is what, and most importantly (one of the hardest lessons I learned as a teenager) learn to listen.

But seriously mate, I think you've got a good heart, you just need to utilise it in the right way.

JerryCan

It appears you are trying to be helpful, but you have made a lot of wrong assumptions.

I made a decision not to attack people personally a long time ago. There have been a few occasions where I have tried to be honest with people to try to help them understand.

A lot of people have experienced bullying or being put down at some time in their life.

People learn, to avoid being bullied, you need to show that you are tough. You need to become a bully. The aggressor is the winner, and the defender is the looser.

The very thing they dont like, they become.

If they dont like bullying, why do they become a bully.

There are some people who dont get involved in bullying. There are many who put down anyone who they think is vulnerable. So once bullying starts, a lot of them join in. They become a bully to display they are tough, and avoid becoming a victim of bullying.

By not attacking others, and not even returning a put down, I become vulnerable to bullying.

It takes a much more mature person to not respond to a personal attack.

Others were complaining about the heat. topic28322.html Because this is a slightly different issue, I started a new topic.

My room is cooler without an air conditioner than many rooms with an air conditioner. I also save a lot on electricity. People running air conditioners may be better off if they move to a place which is naturally cooler, or even put some kind of shade.

On a number of occasions people have made false assumptions about me. I have not bothered explaining the truth.

If I tell people I was in Cambodia long before them, and I spoke Khmer long before them, the bullying will not stop. They will just say, you think you are better than others because you were here long before them.

Probably the only way to stop bullying is to return a personal attack every time I get attacked. Even become the aggressor with the worst people. But why should I come down to their level?

A lot of people who are bullies on the internet, would run in real life. Others are fairly messed up in the head, and whatever happens they will be stupid.

A lot of good people dont participate in this forum, because a lot of new people get bullied. If they did participate, this forum would be a better place.

Kuroneko wrote: ↑Sat Apr 20, 2019 12:08 pm

RickyBobby wrote: ↑Sat Apr 20, 2019 11:52 am
A lot of people would not think about these things in the same way, because our housing where we come from is designed to retain heat, not eliminate it.

I don't know the housing where I come from is designed to keep the heat out and provide shade.

I like that house. But that is exactly my point.

The housing where I come from serves a much different purpose.

explorer wrote: ↑Sat Apr 20, 2019 12:09 pm It appears you are trying to be helpful, but you have made a lot of wrong assumptions.

I made a decision not to attack people personally a long time ago. There have been a few occasions where I have tried to be honest with people to try to help them understand.

A lot of people have experienced bullying or being put down at some time in their life.

People learn, to avoid being bullied, you need to show that you are tough. You need to become a bully. The aggressor is the winner, and the defender is the looser.

The very thing they dont like, they become.

If they dont like bullying, why do they become a bully.

There are some people who dont get involved in bullying. There are many who put down anyone who they think is vulnerable. So once bullying starts, a lot of them join in. They become a bully to display they are tough, and avoid becoming a victim of bullying.

By not attacking others, and not even returning a put down, I become vulnerable to bullying.

It takes a much more mature person to not respond to a personal attack.

Others were complaining about the heat. topic28322.html Because this is a slightly different issue, I started a new topic.

My room is cooler without an air conditioner than many rooms with an air conditioner. I also save a lot on electricity. People running air conditioners may be better off if they move to a place which is naturally cooler, or even put some kind of shade.

On a number of occasions people have made false assumptions about me. I have not bothered explaining the truth.

If I tell people I was in Cambodia long before them, and I spoke Khmer long before them, the bullying will not stop. They will just say, you think you are better than others because you were here long before them.

Probably the only way to stop bullying is to return a personal attack every time I get attacked. Even become the aggressor with the worst people. But why should I come down to their level?

A lot of people who are bullies on the internet, would run in real life. Others are fairly messed up in the head, and whatever happens they will be stupid.

A lot of good people dont participate in this forum, because a lot of new people get bullied. If they did participate, this forum would be a better place.

I get where you're coming from, but there comes a point when posting too much from a point of ignorance can also drive away people too. Of course it's a difficult happy medium to find and no one is perfect, so I'm neither saying one or the other side is 100% right or wrong.

As for attacking people, there is a difference between attacking and constructive feedback. I was trying to provide the latter (not saying you took it as an attack) and it might go against what some people like, and I think too many people perceive feedback as a personal attack...people who are more sensitive than others for example. And there does come a point when being too passive can be equally devastating, for when there's no feedback or criticism, nothing changes.

That being said I do agree with you in that a lot of people with valuable information don't post because of the vocal minority, who is often messed up in the head, and I wont exclude myself from that crowd. Personally I don't know why I post here (not as if I have much to say) and I should probably stop logging in so much, as I find I'm spending too much time here.

Either or, I've said my bit.

JerryCan wrote: ↑Sat Apr 20, 2019 12:55 pm I get where you're coming from, but there comes a point when posting too much from a point of ignorance can also drive away people too. Of course it's a difficult happy medium to find and no one is perfect, so I'm neither saying one or the other side is 100% right or wrong.

That being said I do agree with you in that a lot of people with valuable information don't post because of the vocal minority, who is often messed up. Personally I don't know why I post here (not as if I have much to say) and I should probably stop logging in so much, as I find I'm spending too much time here.

Part of the difference comes from a different way of thinking.

I think new arrivals should be warned about potential scams and crimes. Some people think, I know about that, and I am not stupid enough to become a victim. Victims are stupid people. They live in a selfish little world. I feel strongly we should warn people.

I sometimes post things about Cambodian people. Some people are only interested in what happens to foreigners.

It is amusing when I post something, someone says it is wrong, then someone else says I am stating the obvious. I am criticised by people who dont even agree with each other.

You may also notice, many of my posts which get the most criticism, also get the most thumbs up. People want to show they agree with me, but dont want to be the next victim of bullying.

While I am human, and can write things in a hurry, and make mistakes, I believe if you actually read my posts, I dont post things in ignorance. There are some other people who have a good understanding of what goes on, but many with little idea. Of course, I get attacked for saying that.

explorer wrote: ↑Sat Apr 20, 2019 1:17 pm Part of the difference comes from a different way of thinking.

I think new arrivals should be warned about potential scams and crimes. Some people think, I know about that, and I am not stupid enough to become a victim. Victims are stupid people. They live in a selfish little world. I feel strongly we should warn people.

I feel this way too, and I'll also agree there is a bit of animosity towards newbies to the country on these forums, although it's considerably more user friendly than the days before this forum were around. But that's how things are and if the new people don't want to stick around, they wont. There's little one can do to change things to be honest.

explorer wrote: ↑Sat Apr 20, 2019 1:17 pm You may also notice, many of my posts which get the most criticism, also get the most thumbs up. People want to show they agree with me, but dont want to be the next victim of bullying.

And to put it bluntly, that doesn't mean anything. It only shows the people agreeing with you know as much as you do or agree with what you say. It doesn't make it right or from an authoritative stance. Just using the internet for example, the most popular sites are almost never reflect on how useful or correct the content actually is, only how many people "like" it. That's part of why I despise the karma system here, because it doesn't really mean anything.

explorer wrote: ↑Sat Apr 20, 2019 1:17 pm While I am human, and can write things in a hurry, and make mistakes, I believe if you actually read my posts, I dont post things in ignorance. There are some other people who have a good understanding of what goes on, but many with little idea. Of course, I get attacked for saying that.

Here's where I disagree with you. There are plenty of instances where you post in ignorance, and don't take ignorance as being sinister, I simply mean coming from a place of less knowledge.

I have read several of your posts (as have others I'm sure), and that's why I'm telling you what I am. You came to the forum a not long ago asking questions about election safety and the like, and then in threads like "Changes in the last 10 years", you make big long lists as if you've "been here done that". That's disingenuous to say the least.

And if someone like you is consistently posting and flood the forums with bits of information as if you know much more than you really do, especially when the few who have been around a long time are trying to tell you that you're completely off the mark here, maybe you should take the hint because "veterans" like myself can see that you don't know as much as you suspect.

Some of us have Khmer wives and family, some of us read, write and speak the language, some of us own businesses, land, houses and even have family in government. But we're not posting all the time giving advice on every little thread, and we're certainly not in the majority, but "veterans" of Cambodia are much more valuable in terms of their opinion on things because we simply know more, and I say "we" meaning more "they" because even my family here is Chinese blooded for the most part, so we're not really "Khmer".

I don't think you realise what is going on is you're facilitating a blind leading the blind kind of scenario, rather than showing people "the way". That's probably not what you want to hear, but just from this expat's point of view, it's what I believe is going on and I don't believe I am alone in my thinking, I think I'm just the only one who's going to spell it out like this.

But as said though, I don't think you're mean hearted kind of person, but that doesn't mean you're providing a service that's helpful either.