Time for a agony aunt on this site?

Call me a cynical old bastard but when I see a 60 year old male with a lady half his age holding hands and skipping in to the sunset I do wonder if he thinks he's in love while all the time she's thinking of ways to fleece his bank account out of as much as possible to feed the extended family, I may be wrong and they may both be ecstatically in love with each other.

I think MGTOW would be the best agony aunt so he gets my vote.

Tarndag: " They have brains about the size of a BB, and an education and wisdom to match. " I can t imagine enjoying being in a relationship with what you describe regardless if you are allowed to travel to the province with them. Good relationships are based on trust, loyalty and respect. I would prefer to have a relationship with a potted plant or a pet rock than what you describe.

I dunno. To me it's weird that you'd contact him without even knowing the guy. I would have waited until we'd been formally introduced or something (like both sisters meet up for a house party, a double date or whatever). I'd find it weird if someone contacted me like that out of the blue as if we had some sort of kinship. The exception maybe being if he'd been new to Cambodia, but even then I think it would have been better to wait till you'd actually met him in person. I'm not sociable by nature, so maybe that's just me?

Tarndog wrote:I have had many live-in girlfriends over my time here, and just as you mentioned, a dustup occurs. Many times, i remind them of my expectations, give her a warning, and we move on to live another day. But inevitably, the same shit happens again, and again. That's when I throw her out and don't look back.

Sounds to me like you're a bit high strung or always going for the wrong type of girl. I'm much younger than you, but in ten years here I've only had one live-in relationship (current girl). I was always a hard-ass like yourself and I'd throw girls out on a whim when they pissed me off. It was always my way or the highway and I was always right. It's taken me a long time, but I'm a lot more flexible now, realize my own personality flaws, and I'm thus more open to dialogue than before. I guess I've matured a lot as one does.

A friend once said that relationships in Cambodia require a lot of "giving", and I totally get it now. Not financially, but in the sense that you have to accept a lot of weird quirks or behaviour, even by the more educated. I can't think of anything specific at the moment, but stuff like ghosts, not eating X with cold water or whatever, to more serious things obviously. Meaning, you have to be more flexible and forgiving in some circumstances. In general, girls don't have much in the way of relationship experience, so they can act immaturely so you have to sometimes teach them and be understanding and cut them some slack when needed. Anyways, I think realizing that I had very little empathy for others made me accept that I had/have my own faults (with a big S), so shouldn't hold others to such a high standard. It takes someone special to make you realize that and be able to have some clean dialogue when issues arise. Being here, there's the cultural gap (and/or linguistic) on top of that, which makes for a constant learning experience.

I'm definitely a better person for it, so I finally realize the value in a relationship. It's not about being a pushover as I still stand my ground hard on some stuff, but rather picking your battles and differentiating between the stuff that matters and the stuff you can let slide. Also knowing someone had your back and you have theirs.

Anyways, I'm sure I'll think of some funny arguments later on.

Post by Sidewalker » Thu Apr 11, 2019 9:54 am

Time for a agony aunt on this site?

by DaveG » Thu Apr 11, 2019 11:07 am

Call me a cynical old bastard but when I see a 60 year old male with a lady half his age holding hands and skipping in to the sunset I do wonder if he thinks he's in love while all the time she's thinking of ways to fleece his bank account out of as much as possible to feed the extended family, I may be wrong and they may both be ecstatically in love with each other.

OP had the guts to share some of his personal issues with his khmer partner and all you guys can do is make some glib, cheap shots intended to make fun of and belittle the OP's situation?

How would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot? You, sirs, are borderline trolls trying to derail/hijack an honest and relevant topic of barang/khmer relationships which many expat members here would relate to. By doing so, you are not respecting the OP and generally doing a disservice to this forum imo.

Unhappy MGTOW:

We get that you are a man going your own way
We get that you want to make a statement about that to members via your moniker
We get that that means you've given up/turned your back on traditional relationships
We get that hence this thread is superfluous to you
We get that you somehow think therefore this topic is a good target for derision

How about showing some respect for other people's views and stop making these sorts of one line posts to get your view of life across. If you don't like the topic ignore it...or, how about you start a thread on the MGTOW movement and then you can argue your case so we can all discuss it and give our views?

DaveG:

OK, so the OP volunteered that he is 29 yrs senior than his Mrs... So you have to bring out that classic old chestnut.....ah, old guy with very young girl stereotype.. That's really off topic and not the issue that OP wants to discuss here. Do you live in Asia? Coz it sounds like you have the classic 'I've got my western hat on' and trying to impose your westerns ideals here.. Oh, she's only with him for his money... Give us a break! If you wonder, as you say, whether they are together for money or love, then go start another thread to explore the issue of old guys with young girls so that we can all discuss in context there without derailing the issue here?

As I said, cheap shots imo..

Thanks Clutch, too much stereotyped bollocks here. I have brought to Australia a woman 24 years younger than me and her two daughters. It’s funny when I reflect on this that post WW2 in Hamburg my dad married my mum. She was 31 years younger than him.
My experience has been fraught thanks to my partner’s youthful exuberance and her outstanding appearance and outlook. She has been embraced by men and women, they just love her.
But she expected no riches from me or her new friends. She is not that way inclined.
She just loves dancing, drinking and playing pool. Unfortunately she became involved with a millionaire sexual predator. He had tortured her for nearly a year. Punching, choking, smothering, burning with a lighter, boiling water. He is a real threat to the whole family now, a criminal who has never been challenged before. Now we are going through court appearances, family violence orders have been issued. It’s an ongoing nightmare. She changed from a loving partner and mum to an alcoholic, abusive, angry insomniac thanks to this man. She did not realise that men like this exist, not uncommon in Australia where 70 women and children were murdered by partners last year.

Look at Clutch, all fired up tonight. I like it!

clutchcargo wrote: ↑Thu Apr 11, 2019 5:28 pm

Post by Sidewalker » Thu Apr 11, 2019 9:54 am

Time for a agony aunt on this site?

by DaveG » Thu Apr 11, 2019 11:07 am

Call me a cynical old bastard but when I see a 60 year old male with a lady half his age holding hands and skipping in to the sunset I do wonder if he thinks he's in love while all the time she's thinking of ways to fleece his bank account out of as much as possible to feed the extended family, I may be wrong and they may both be ecstatically in love with each other.

OP had the guts to share some of his personal issues with his khmer partner and all you guys can do is make some glib, cheap shots intended to make fun of and belittle the OP's situation?

How would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot? You, sirs, are borderline trolls trying to derail/hijack an honest and relevant topic of barang/khmer relationships which many expat members here would relate to. By doing so, you are not respecting the OP and generally doing a disservice to this forum imo.

Unhappy MGTOW:

We get that you are a man going your own way
We get that you want to make a statement about that to members via your moniker
We get that that means you've given up/turned your back on traditional relationships
We get that hence this thread is superfluous to you
We get that you somehow think therefore this topic is a good target for derision

How about showing some respect for other people's views and stop making these sorts of one line posts to get your view of life across. If you don't like the topic ignore it...or, how about you start a thread on the MGTOW movement and then you can argue your case so we can all discuss it and give our views?

DaveG:

OK, so the OP volunteered that he is 29 yrs senior than his Mrs... So you have to bring out that classic old chestnut.....ah, old guy with very young girl stereotype.. That's really off topic and not the issue that OP wants to discuss here. Do you live in Asia? Coz it sounds like you have the classic 'I've got my western hat on' and trying to impose your westerns ideals here.. Oh, she's only with him for his money... Give us a break! If you wonder, as you say, whether they are together for money or love, then go start another thread to explore the issue of old guys with young girls so that we can all discuss in context there without derailing the issue here?

As I said, cheap shots imo..

Read the post and chill out,

" I may be wrong and they may both be ecstatically in love with each other",

And," Call me a cynical old bastard but"

How's Miss Clutch. ????, she wouldn't be younger than you would she by any chance, You take things far to personally. Chill man, you gonna give yourself a heart attack

Pretty rare that the wife and I argue. If I was in trouble I get the silent treatment.

In terms of culturally, I think the relationship with the family was a big one. If I don't want to be around my family all of the time I certainly don't want to be around the in-laws constantly! It turned into a huge advantage when we had our son to have a babysitter available 24hours/day, and I was loving life when her parents home became the center for family gatherings. When it was my home as the family center we did not have any huge fight about it but plenty of "discussions."

I do remember two occasions I got really angry, both related to taking care of the kiddos. First is that a baby crying is not a reason to remove it from a car seat. Second is do not use standard Tiger Balm on newborns, supposed to wait until they are 2 years old or buy the child-safe version. In both instances, my wife and I were on the same page but Mae Khmer knew better. How could you let the baby cry and leave in a car seat on the highway? Here, let me put on tiger balm when paleface isn't looking....I actually walked in on her and she tried to hide it under a blanket haha.

I wasn't really angry at the wife because she was in agreement with me, just a bit tough for her to get her mom following my silly barang requirements such as car seats. Tough position for my love but she managed it getting firm with mother. Of course, there was no room to negotiate when it comes to the health of your kids!