Girls being given away

Have questions or resources regarding Khmer Culture? This forum is all about the Kingdom of Cambodia's culture. Khmer language, Cambodian weddings, French influence, Cambodian architecture, Cambodian politics, Khmer customs, etc? This is the place. Living in Cambodia can cause you to experience a whole new level of culture shock, so feel free to talk about all things related to the Khmer people, and their traditions. And if you want something in Khmer script translated into English, you will probably find what you need.
j57
Expatriate
Posts: 203
Joined: Fri Oct 19, 2018 4:46 pm
Reputation: 56
Location: Kampot
United States of America

Re: Girls being given away

Post by j57 » Thu Apr 04, 2019 1:27 am

my wife had to go live and work at a house in Phnom Penh after her mother died...in 95...
room and board and minute stipend...she was 10...
she always worked and moved on to working for Koreans and Taiwanese in factories..
supported her family...helped her dad...took care of him...turned down a few Khmer marriage offers and eventually was too old to be of marrying age.
her father died eventually and she started over the same time i was starting over...we met in sihanoukville and neither one of us knew anyone in town.
we both did not expect to find happiness and it has been the best years of both our lives...

going to live in a nice house and getting a meal and a place to sleep instead of eating mice, rats, and being the dirty kid with no mother is not so bad.
being looked down on and shunned and then 'given' away is not easy...
I really admire my wife...
she takes care of me like no other and I am the lucky one...
it doesn't hurt that she is one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen in my life...inside and out.
she was always the one caring for others...providing for others...
I am lucky to have met her...
User avatar
Kammekor
Expatriate
Posts: 1852
Joined: Fri Sep 01, 2017 12:50 pm
Reputation: 593
Cambodia

Re: Girls being given away

Post by Kammekor » Thu Apr 04, 2019 1:53 am

explorer wrote:
Wed Apr 03, 2019 7:22 pm
In Cambodia girls are bought and sold.

To understand what really goes on, you need to understand peripheral issues. One of these is that girls are also given away. In some cases it can be boys, but more often it is girls.

In Cambodia, people believe it is important to have children to look after them in their old age. Some couples are unable to have children. In this situation a brother or sisters family often has children for them. These children are adopted by their new parents, but there is no legal process and no paperwork. They are just given to them. The children are told the truth. The children will tell you who their adoptive parents are and who their birth parents are. Their cousins are often their brothers and sisters. Families are often close.

This also can happen when a lady gets a bit older and it seems she is unlikely to get married. She may be given a child or children in the same way.

There were a lot of orphanages in Cambodia, which received money from donations. In order to get the donations they needed children. Some unscrupulous operators would go out to poor villages and pay money to the parents if they let their children come to the orphanage. When you understand this part of Cambodian culture, it is easy to see how people would let their children go to orphanages. Australia banned adoption from Cambodia several years ago, because it was discovered that many of the "orphans" actually had parents. It was just a money making scheme. The operators could not be trusted. This is not true of all these organizations. There are some good ones.

One girls parents separated, and her father got remarried before she was born. Her mother already had a new boyfriend. Soon after she was born, she was given to another lady, and her mother married her new boyfriend.

One lady got a new daughter from the hospital. The mother went to hospital to give birth. After giving birth, she just walked out of the hospital leaving the baby behind. The doctor gave the baby to this lady who already had sons but wanted a daughter. This type of thing is common when unmarried girls have babies in Cambodia.

Some of this is not unlike adoption in Australia, except in Australia there is a legal process to go through.

When you hear about girls being bought and sold, understand that giving girls away has also been a normal part of Cambodian culture. So people sell their daughters much more readily than they would in a Western Country.
It's good you constantly learn about the way Cambodia works, but before you start reporting maybe a little bit more research is required....

<edit>
OK, some editing / explanation might be needed.....

A few weeks ago you met a Cambodian in his 30's whom apparently had a stroke and you reported 'it's common to meet Cambodians in their thirties whom had a stroke'.
But from the reactions it wasn't so common, only you viewed the situation from the right angle to see it. The rest of us missed it.

Now you've seev it's common to give away girls. In country where every grain of salt has some value.

Are you this is a general thing, and not something just you noticed? Or did we, the masses, fail to notice again?
</edit>
explorer
Expatriate
Posts: 1995
Joined: Sat Apr 14, 2018 9:37 pm
Reputation: 642
Australia

Re: Girls being given away

Post by explorer » Thu Apr 04, 2019 2:32 am

Kammekor wrote:
Thu Apr 04, 2019 1:53 am
OK, some editing / explanation might be needed.....

A few weeks ago you met a Cambodian in his 30's whom apparently had a stroke and you reported 'it's common to meet Cambodians in their thirties whom had a stroke'.
But from the reactions it wasn't so common, only you viewed the situation from the right angle to see it. The rest of us missed it.

Now you've seev it's common to give away girls. In country where every grain of salt has some value.

Are you this is a general thing, and not something just you noticed? Or did we, the masses, fail to notice again?
Most people on this forum dont spend a lot of time with Cambodian people, apart from the girls who sell them beer.

If you go out and spend time with a lot of Cambodian people. Over a period of years you see a lot of examples, and will get to understand a lot about Cambodian culture.

You, the masses, fail to notice it because you are not out there spending time with a lot of Cambodian people.

It is common for Cambodians to have high blood pressure, diabetes, and strokes, at a much younger age than they normally have them in Australia. You will meet people who have had strokes in their 30s.

It is common to give away girls in Cambodia. If a couple are unable to have children, they will probably be given children. If a woman is still single when she is older, she will probably be given children. When you get to know them, they will tell you.

It is common to sell girls in Cambodia. If you go out and spend time with a lot of Cambodian people, you will meet girls who have been sold.

You can easily go out and meet people like this yourself.

Dont be scared to talk to the poor people, the homeless people, and the people who collect bottles and cans. Most girls are sold because their mother is very poor. But not all. I know of one girl who was sold after her mother and father lost all of their money at a casino.

Some people will also ask you to take their children or buy their children. Some say it in a way which is joking, but if you did take their children they would be happy. Some say it in a serious way. They would be happy for someone to take their children, look after them well, and give them a good education.
Last edited by explorer on Thu Apr 04, 2019 2:52 am, edited 2 times in total.
## I thought I knew all the answers, but they changed all the questions. ##
User avatar
GMJS-CEO
Expatriate
Posts: 466
Joined: Wed May 21, 2014 10:34 pm
Reputation: 165
United States of America

Re: Girls being given away

Post by GMJS-CEO » Thu Apr 04, 2019 2:49 am

I know someone tried to buy my wife and her sister, would have been in the 90’s. They were under the care of teenage brother who didn’t sell them. Lucky she made it into a quality organization with her siblings not long after.
User avatar
Kammekor
Expatriate
Posts: 1852
Joined: Fri Sep 01, 2017 12:50 pm
Reputation: 593
Cambodia

Re: Girls being given away

Post by Kammekor » Thu Apr 04, 2019 3:01 am

explorer wrote:
Thu Apr 04, 2019 2:32 am
Kammekor wrote:
Thu Apr 04, 2019 1:53 am
OK, some editing / explanation might be needed.....

A few weeks ago you met a Cambodian in his 30's whom apparently had a stroke and you reported 'it's common to meet Cambodians in their thirties whom had a stroke'.
But from the reactions it wasn't so common, only you viewed the situation from the right angle to see it. The rest of us missed it.

Now you've seev it's common to give away girls. In country where every grain of salt has some value.

Are you this is a general thing, and not something just you noticed? Or did we, the masses, fail to notice again?
Most people on this forum dont spend a lot of time with Cambodian people, apart from the girls who sell them beer.

If you go out and spend time with a lot of Cambodian people. Over a period of years you see a lot of examples, and will get to understand a lot about Cambodian culture.

You, the masses, fail to notice it because you are not out there spending time with a lot of Cambodian people.

It is common for Cambodians to have high blood pressure, diabetes, and strokes, at a much younger age than they normally have them in Australia. You will meet people who have had strokes in their 30s.

It is common to give away girls in Cambodia. If a couple are unable to have children, they will probably be given children. If a woman is still single when she is older, she will probably be given children. When you get to know them, they will tell you.

It is common to sell girls in Cambodia. If you go out and spend time with a lot of Cambodian people, you will meet girls who have been sold.

You can easily go out and meet people like this yourself.

Dont be scared to talk to the poor people, the homeless people, and the people who collect bottles and cans. Most girls are sold because their mother is very poor. But not all. I know of one girl who was sold after her mother and father lost all of their money at a casino.

Some people will also ask you to take their children or buy their children. Some say it in a way which is joking, but if you did take their children they would be happy. Some say it in a serious way. They would be happy for someone to take their children, look after them well, and give them a good education.
No Explorer. It happens, and maybe even some people told you about (which I personally don't believe, given what I know about Cambodian culture). But not everything you (believe you) encounter is 'common'.

Not the masses are in for a reality check I think, but you are.
explorer
Expatriate
Posts: 1995
Joined: Sat Apr 14, 2018 9:37 pm
Reputation: 642
Australia

Re: Girls being given away

Post by explorer » Thu Apr 04, 2019 3:19 am

With the number of people on this forum who talk about girls having been bought, or given away, or offered for sale, do you think they all made it up?
## I thought I knew all the answers, but they changed all the questions. ##
jimsocks
Expatriate
Posts: 69
Joined: Fri Jul 18, 2014 1:33 am
Reputation: 8

Re: Girls being given away

Post by jimsocks » Thu Apr 04, 2019 4:21 am

in the old days, they did buy babies, although i don't hear about it too much anymore.
aunts/uncles take in their nieces all the time (that lone girl who washes the dishes,does laundry, and never talks to you).
knew a girl given to a neighbor.
knew a girl sold to china. (the mama san ran before police could get her.)
but nowadays, if a girl is pretty enough, she becomes a *working girl* to support her family.
theres more stuff, but ppl can believe whatever.
User avatar
Username Taken
Raven
Posts: 10527
Joined: Mon May 19, 2014 6:53 pm
Reputation: 1947
Contact:
Cambodia

Re: Girls being given away

Post by Username Taken » Thu Apr 04, 2019 7:11 am

"in the old days"

When was that? Are we talking about the past few decades or since the dawn of Khmer civilization?
... give 'em a quick, short, sharp shock ...

https://BooksAboutCambodia.com
explorer
Expatriate
Posts: 1995
Joined: Sat Apr 14, 2018 9:37 pm
Reputation: 642
Australia

Re: Girls being given away

Post by explorer » Thu Apr 04, 2019 7:54 am

Username Taken wrote:
Thu Apr 04, 2019 7:11 am
"in the old days"

When was that? Are we talking about the past few decades or since the dawn of Khmer civilization?
I talk about things I have seen and heard with Cambodian people.

However, when you realize it is common practice to give children to aunts and uncles, for example, you realize it did not start the day I met them. It has, no doubt, been going on before that.

I was not here to see ancient Khmer society. We can get a little idea from their culture now, and a little idea from records, but most of it we will never know.
## I thought I knew all the answers, but they changed all the questions. ##
User avatar
phuketrichard
Expatriate
Posts: 9591
Joined: Wed May 14, 2014 5:17 pm
Reputation: 1884
Location: Atlantis
Aruba

Re: Girls being given away

Post by phuketrichard » Thu Apr 04, 2019 7:56 am

Username Taken wrote:
Thu Apr 04, 2019 7:11 am
"in the old days"

When was that? Are we talking about the past few decades or since the dawn of Khmer civilization?
i seem to have read somewhere that they killed Chinese girl babies in China, seems to have been a common occurrence.

Also in some places in Cambodia the population was kidnapped and taken to southern Issan
In a nation run by swine, all pigs are upward-mobile and the rest of us are fucked until we can put our acts together: not necessarily to win, but mainly to keep from losing completely. HST
Post Reply Previous topicNext topic
  • Similar Topics
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: steelyRon and 77 guests