the staring and the spying

Kammekor · Post by **Kammekor** » Mon Feb 18, 2019 9:30 am

explorer wrote: ↑Mon Feb 18, 2019 5:35 am I will explain the reason they do it. See if somebody disagrees.

In Western culture, we tell people if they do something we dont like. So they know we dont like it, and normally stop doing it.

In Cambodian culture, people are nice to everyone. If someone does something they dont like, they normally dont say anything, but just act happy. So people often dont know they dont like it, and continue doing it.

You may also describe it as putting themselves first, and not caring about others.

As a result, there are many things which Cambodians do, which most westerners would not do. For example, throwing trash everywhere, cutting in front of others in traffic, and playing loud music when the neighbors are trying to sleep.

A girl I know had $20 stolen from her handbag while she was at work. She knew it was one of her workmates, as they were they only ones who had access to her bag. She didnt know which one. She came home early from work, and was quite upset. I said, why dont you say something. She said she was not going to say anything because she didnt want to be seen as a troublemaker. If they dont like something, they just put in a fake happy act.

There is also a reason for this. Historically, if someone upset the wrong person, they could be killed. So it was important for everyone to like them.

I don't get what this has to do with the staring and spying....

In Khmer culture staring at someone is considered pretty rude, and is something you shouldn't do. On the other hand most Khmer are pretty curious and if there's one thing they like to do besides gambling and drinking its gossiping, so there you have it.

Like mentioned before, if it bothers you if someone is checking you out, a polite smile will do. They will feel like caught in the act and probably stop staring. If the smile doesn't do the trick, a wink will do. If the wink doesn't, he or she's a pro. :stir:

StroppyChops · Post by **StroppyChops** » Mon Feb 18, 2019 9:57 am

Kammekor wrote: ↑Mon Feb 18, 2019 9:30 am In Khmer culture staring at someone is considered pretty rude, and is something you shouldn't do.

Really? You are literally the only person I have ever heard say this. Every other person I've had the staring discussion with, be they Khmer or foreign, has said it's perfectly normal and acceptable in this country.

Duncan · Post by **Duncan** » Mon Feb 18, 2019 12:36 pm

Since being in Cambodia I have noticed when I am walking and a girl is walking toward you, many girls will stare down at a guys groin area. [ or is it just me ].
It's so bloody obvious sometime but I guess its no worse than guys staring at a girls boobs and not her face.

rozzieoz · Post by **rozzieoz** » Mon Feb 18, 2019 12:57 pm

I do my best to give them something worthwhile to stare at.

John Bingham · Post by **John Bingham** » Mon Feb 18, 2019 12:58 pm

RickyBobby wrote: ↑Mon Feb 18, 2019 8:32 am
There is that, but when I was uncomfortable with PDA's i.e. hand holding etc; she said to me once "I don't think you're comfortable with me" and I had to explain I wasn't comfortable with the stares.

Considering the fact that PDAs are taboo here I'm not surprised anyone would feel uncomfortable.

The Suk Straggler · Post by **The Suk Straggler** » Mon Feb 18, 2019 1:13 pm

Kammekor wrote: ↑Mon Feb 18, 2019 9:30 am
explorer wrote: ↑Mon Feb 18, 2019 5:35 am I will explain the reason they do it. See if somebody disagrees.

In Western culture, we tell people if they do something we dont like. So they know we dont like it, and normally stop doing it.

In Cambodian culture, people are nice to everyone. If someone does something they dont like, they normally dont say anything, but just act happy. So people often dont know they dont like it, and continue doing it.

You may also describe it as putting themselves first, and not caring about others.

As a result, there are many things which Cambodians do, which most westerners would not do. For example, throwing trash everywhere, cutting in front of others in traffic, and playing loud music when the neighbors are trying to sleep.

A girl I know had $20 stolen from her handbag while she was at work. She knew it was one of her workmates, as they were they only ones who had access to her bag. She didnt know which one. She came home early from work, and was quite upset. I said, why dont you say something. She said she was not going to say anything because she didnt want to be seen as a troublemaker. If they dont like something, they just put in a fake happy act.

There is also a reason for this. Historically, if someone upset the wrong person, they could be killed. So it was important for everyone to like them.
I don't get what this has to do with the staring and spying....

In Khmer culture staring at someone is considered pretty rude, and is something you shouldn't do. On the other hand most Khmer are pretty curious and if there's one thing they like to do besides gambling and drinking its gossiping, so there you have it.

Like mentioned before, if it bothers you if someone is checking you out, a polite smile will do. They will feel like caught in the act and probably stop staring. If the smile doesn't do the trick, a wink will do. If the wink doesn't, he or she's a pro.

Have you never been to Cambodia??? I’m new here and there is lots of staring and catching them in the act does not deter them one bit!

Captain · Post by **Captain** » Mon Feb 18, 2019 1:49 pm

Duncan wrote: ↑Mon Feb 18, 2019 12:36 pm Since being in Cambodia I have noticed when I am walking and a girl is walking toward you, many girls will stare down at a guys groin area. [ or is it just me ].
It's so bloody obvious sometime but I guess its no worse than guys staring at a girls boobs and not her face.

That's correct. It's a hypersexualized society and all those girls walking toward you are just "sizing" you up!

Sidewalker · Post by **Sidewalker** » Mon Feb 18, 2019 2:35 pm

Captain wrote: ↑Mon Feb 18, 2019 1:49 pm
Duncan wrote: ↑Mon Feb 18, 2019 12:36 pm Since being in Cambodia I have noticed when I am walking and a girl is walking toward you, many girls will stare down at a guys groin area. [ or is it just me ].
It's so bloody obvious sometime but I guess its no worse than guys staring at a girls boobs and not her face.
That's correct. It's a hypersexualized society and all those girls walking toward you are just "sizing" you up!

Bullshit! The reason is simple: A decent Cambodian girl doesn't make eye with a strange man.

Bluelabel · Post by **Bluelabel** » Mon Feb 18, 2019 2:47 pm

Sidewalker wrote: ↑Mon Feb 18, 2019 2:35 pm
Captain wrote: ↑Mon Feb 18, 2019 1:49 pm
Duncan wrote: ↑Mon Feb 18, 2019 12:36 pm Since being in Cambodia I have noticed when I am walking and a girl is walking toward you, many girls will stare down at a guys groin area. [ or is it just me ].
It's so bloody obvious sometime but I guess its no worse than guys staring at a girls boobs and not her face.
That's correct. It's a hypersexualized society and all those girls walking toward you are just "sizing" you up!
Bullshit! The reason is simple: A decent Cambodian girl doesn't make eye with a strange man.

Or marry one.

taabarang · Post by **taabarang** » Mon Feb 18, 2019 3:35 pm

StroppyChops wrote: ↑Mon Feb 18, 2019 9:57 am
Kammekor wrote: ↑Mon Feb 18, 2019 9:30 am In Khmer culture staring at someone is considered pretty rude, and is something you shouldn't do.
Really? You are literally the only person I have ever heard say this. Every other person I've had the staring discussion with, be they Khmer or foreign, has said it's perfectly normal and acceptable in this country.

It's about as normal as the way many of them drive which many of them find acceptable too.

the staring and the spying

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