I post unpolished and probably incomplete sermons at Christmas and Easter. Deal with it.

Give me a Christianity I can believe in. Especially at Christmas.

I wasn’t designed to sit in a pew on Sundays, singing “psalms and hymns and spiritual songs”, having my cup of tea and biscuit after the service, and generally just being “nice” so as not to offend anyone’s delicate sensibilities. In days past I honestly enjoyed riding up to church in full leathers with a biker mate who was an ex-pimp and dealer, and physically bopped because of the chemicals he’d injected into himself for too long – it gave me an instant and clear insight into the true Christians in the building, and who was just a member of the club.

I want to engage with authentic people through authentic relationships. I don’t want every statement I make to be met with “God is good!” to which I’m expected to respond, lemming-like, “All the time.”

I happen to believe in that statement but I express it differently, and in a way that upsets many church-goers – “God is good, all the time, AND sometimes life sucks.” I’m often asked to repeat that as the church-goer blinks in confusion, and then wonders if I’m preaching heresy. People tell me that’s not biblical, that if life sucks I’m obviously missing the point or not “being blessed” the way God intended. Those people have either not read their Bible or have not understood it.

One thing I can’t stand is the church person who’s pretending to be happy. Always. All the damned time. Especially when they try to project that onto you, as though it makes them a better believer than you are, because I’m clearly happier you than you, so…

Don’t get me wrong, I love it when people are genuinely happy in life and it shows, and I’ve met two people who have that natural chemical imbalance that causes them to be genuinely, truly happy, all of the time, and their happiness infects the people around them with gladness to know them. But I’m not talking about them. I’m talking about religious nutters that if you took away their false happiness, they’d have nothing left to get them through the day. It’s an act, and they desperately hope you don’t realize it … but you do. God calls these people vomit, and says he’ll spew them out of his mouth. Harsh words, and not very Christmassy at all.

But here’s the thing. The baby whose birth we celebrate in December (regardless of the actual birth month, or the replacement of pagan festivals over time) wasn’t born to give me an easy life, to “bless me” with health, wealth, and prosperity, or to empower me with a sense of superiority over any other person – not over our brown friends and family, and not over any of you dodgy bastards. In fact, the Good Book says if life doesn’t sometimes suck, I’m not doing it right. Actually, every significant person in the Bible – including Jesus – found that life sucked in some way or another, and lamented.

Lament.

It’s not a word we hear much anymore as it’s nearly dropped out of common use. It means to call out in pain, for help. If it sounds vaguely familiar, there’s a whole book in the Bible dedicated to it, called Lamentations. Between a third and half of the Bible is lament. People calling out in pain, for help. People being real, feeling pain, feeling abandoned, feeling unvalued, and not really knowing what to do with it.

Does that sound like the vanilla Christians you’ve met? No, me either. Much better to pretend to be blessed, and fit in and hope that no-one notices your kid is doing drugs, or your partner is leaving you for a younger model or has switched teams, or your finances are shot to hell and you don’t know how you’re paying next month’s mortgage or food bill. Or you don’t even know what’s wrong, you only know it’s not right. Just drink your tea, and be nice.

Here are some ‘laments’ from the Bible, without the thees and thous.

“Oh, why didn’t I just die at birth? Just come from the womb and die?”
“Why is my pain endless, why do my wounds never heal?”
“God, I struggle through day and you ignore me, and I can’t sleep at night without peace.”
“How long will you ignore that I’m at the end of my rope and I can’t hang on?”
“Jesus – have pity on me.”
“Father … why have you turned away from me, and abandoned me?”

These laments and others express pain and fear – sickness, alienation and loneliness, physical danger, being unable to care for yourself and loved ones, mistreatment and injustice by others, aging, and finally death.

So if up to half of the Bible is lament, how is it that the happy crowd clap on from weekend to weekend, hyping up on over-produced Sunday-service staged entertainment into a trance-state which they believe to be an encounter with the divine – yet never express their lament, or even admit it exists?

To be fair, many or most have drunk the Kool-Aid or were raised in the indoctrinated modern church machine, and don’t know any better. Others are aware of the Book of Lamentations and may have heard of that poor bastard Job, but let’s be honest – lament is just not fun, and it’s certainly not sexy… so it’s not going to make me feel good and it’s not going to increase the offerings on any given Sunday. Better just to be quiet about it. Don’t upset anyone’s politically-correct view of the world. Be nice. Drink your tea. Merry Christmas! Happy New Year! Somehow it will all be better! Next year!

I’ve had the honour of meeting many of the Phnom Penh expats IRL or PM or just on forum, and we’ve got past the farts and beers stage pretty quickly, because life is more than that, even here. Here are some things I’ve come to realise about male expats in Cambodia.

Some of you are truly intelligent beings and are a delight to know, with or without the rags you wear to hide your goodness. Some hide in the gutter and scare away anyone that might give a crumb of attention, because they’ll only abandon you eventually anyway, just like everyone else – and I value you too, for your uniqueness and your insights on life.

Most had an experience in or related to the church as a child or young adult that hurt them and left them angry at God. Many hate pedophiles with a violent hatred, because they were the young victims of such, as was I.

A dwindling number miss “the good old days” at Sophie’s and the chicken farms, and blame the NGOs and Christians for their passing.

Many are professed atheists who understand and can argue the scriptures better than I can. Of these, many can spot a fake or social Christian instantly and easily, and are yet again disgusted but disappointed, wishing it wasn’t so. “You’re not a REAL Christian…”

Many came to Cambodia as to get away from an unjust life. And discover that millions of child-sponsorship dollars are denied to those kids who need them most, instead creating fat-cat NGO jobs and paying off mid-level officials.

Some came to immerse in cheap sex and drugs as a last gasp. Many of those found the cheap sex didn’t come close to replacing the intimacy and relationship they were actually searching for, and the cheap drugs could no longer mask the pain. And so they become a feature article in Darknet, with pixelated photos and snide comments from people who didn’t know them, but snigger in an attempt to hide from their own mortality.

Want to know what the biggest need is in lament? Meaning.

Why? What’s it all about? What is the meaning behind my suffering? If I can understand the meaning, I can deal better with the pain.

Meaning. The need for meaning is powerful. Often, we equate meaning and hope – and when either is lost, so are we. Sadly, all too often, literally.

Here’s the thing that gets me through some of the stuff I face with the social enterprise, working on rebuilding broken lives that never had a chance before. God NEVER told me that he’d take away all of the pain and suffering I see and experience. He promised to be WITH me as I dealt with it. And I need that, because I’m not strong enough to cope on my own. Because while God is good, all the time, sometimes life sucks.

Happy Christmas, heathens.

That took some writing and it took even more reading. Several times to be honest.

All I can say is that to bare your soul like that took strength.

I agree with your points, especially the sitting in a pew. Many years ago we attended a Baptist session in Antigua. 4 hours sitting on a pew listening to the Pastor drone on. It's simply not necessary.


Nothing else I can say.

Chops,
While I may not agree with all your beliefs, the world will be a much better place without so many "Faking" it. Life has never been absolute happiness for anyone I've ever known. That doesn't mean we should all go through life with a cloud over our heads either. We should take our happiness where we can find it, as long as we are not trampling on someone else rights or happiness to do it. The other thing that si lacking in this world is honesty, I don't just mean with others, I mean with ourselves. You are correct. there are many different reasons so many of us from first wrld countries end up in third world countries for a lot of us it is monetary, for some of us it is to find things there we could never find at home. Altruism is probably last on the list of reasos, even for many who say it is first on theirs. I think we may have some good discussions when I make it there. Have a good Christmas.
John

It will be a better world when adults stop believing in invisible kind old men in the sky who they talk to and who reserves a place in heaven for them after they die and just did good deeds for their fellow humans because it is better for society, without the inane religious nonsense.

I like it. I like it a lot. Thanks for sharing.

Johnsell50 wrote: ↑Sun Dec 23, 2018 6:48 am Life has never been absolute happiness for anyone I've ever known. That doesn't mean we should all go through life with a cloud over our heads either. We should take our happiness where we can find it, as long as we are not trampling on someone else rights or happiness to do it. The other thing that si lacking in this world is honesty, I don't just mean with others, I mean with ourselves.

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what he said...........

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I will never believe that it is a "Given" right for people to believe in anything they want to as much as everyone's "Birthright". If I want to believe in the great god "Anafulstilisia", that is my right, as long as it does not hurt anyone else. In my personal opinion., belief in anything, is a blessing. It is very easy to condemn anyone for believing in anything. It is much harder to prove them wrong. I am an agnostic because I truly "Do not know". If I did, I would believe wholeheartedly, and would not care what opinion anyone has to the contrary, until they could absolutely prove me wrong.