Standing in as a parent for a Cambodian wedding - advice?

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Re: Standing in as a parent for a Cambodian wedding - advice?

Post by takeoman » Tue May 01, 2018 12:21 pm

If it is just the one day ceremony, the only problem you face is the kneeling,sitting for the religious part,do make sure to either have a stand in, or a low chair to sit on. The, now fairly rare, three day affair is a more arduous under taking. You'll be told what to do and when to do it by those who are really in charge ie the photographer,or the video maker. Are the events taking place in Phnom Penh or the countryside? Attire tends to be more casual out here in the boonies. :hattip:
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Re: Standing in as a parent for a Cambodian wedding - advice?

Post by StroppyChops » Tue May 01, 2018 2:30 pm

Thanks for the constructive comments - I'm a biker-member of the Ibuprofen chapter, so I think I'll be consuming above average on those days.

The knees/kneeling thing is definitely going to be a major issue that I'll just deal with, but I'm also hoping for advice on what to expect in terms of expectations on me surrounding the event. I haven't met the young man yet but we'll be doing that formally when she brings him to visit so I can put the fear of God (relax, heathens, I'm kidding) into him, but otherwise... gifts = money, that sort of thing?

Also, my faith is known here, what exchanges occur between the monks and the father of the bride, if any, other than the general blessings?
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Re: Standing in as a parent for a Cambodian wedding - advice?

Post by epidemiks » Tue May 01, 2018 3:02 pm


StroppyChops wrote:Thanks for the constructive comments - I'm a biker-member of the Ibuprofen chapter, so I think I'll be consuming above average on those days.

The knees/kneeling thing is definitely going to be a major issue that I'll just deal with, but I'm also hoping for advice on what to expect in terms of expectations on me surrounding the event. I haven't met the young man yet but we'll be doing that formally when she brings him to visit so I can put the fear of God (relax, heathens, I'm kidding) into him, but otherwise... gifts = money, that sort of thing?

Also, my faith is known here, what exchanges occur between the monks and the father of the bride, if any, other than the general blessings?
The parents of both receive the gifts brought by the groom's procession, but I don't recall that involving monks.

Achars do most of the interaction with the families, monks mostly sit and chant, iirc.

I would say the only expectations are you are present and follow instructions, and smile for the 43,000,000 photos that will be taken.

My wife's cousin was tasked with tailing my parents and translating any instructions they didn't understand throughout the whole thing so we didn't have to do so during the ceremony. Well worth lining someone up for the job if you can, saves interrupting the wedding party if the organisers don't have an English speaking crew.
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Re: Standing in as a parent for a Cambodian wedding - advice?

Post by StroppyChops » Tue May 01, 2018 3:04 pm

epidemiks wrote:
Tue May 01, 2018 3:02 pm
My wife's cousin was tasked with tailing my parents and translating any instructions they didn't understand throughout the whole thing so we didn't have to do so during the ceremony. Well worth lining someone up for the job if you can, saves interrupting the wedding party if the organisers don't have an English speaking crew.
Oh, that's covered, the bride speaks English so she can translate for me! :D
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Re: Standing in as a parent for a Cambodian wedding - advice?

Post by khmerhamster » Tue May 01, 2018 3:30 pm

StroppyChops wrote: Also, my faith is known here, what exchanges occur between the monks and the father of the bride, if any, other than the general blessings?
I don’t think there are too many interactions with the robed ones for the parents. But you may want to look into the any spiritual significances of the rituals to ensure that you are comfortable with them. I’m sure that there will be something online which explains significance.
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Re: Standing in as a parent for a Cambodian wedding - advice?

Post by StroppyChops » Tue May 01, 2018 3:36 pm

khmerhamster wrote:
Tue May 01, 2018 3:30 pm
StroppyChops wrote: Also, my faith is known here, what exchanges occur between the monks and the father of the bride, if any, other than the general blessings?
I don’t think there are too many interactions with the robed ones for the parents. But you may want to look into the any spiritual significances of the rituals to ensure that you are comfortable with them. I’m sure that there will be something online which explains significance.
Thanks. Yes, I've processed the faith/religion issues. I don't like it but I'm okay with others blessing me or chanting over me in the name of other gods, but I refuse to bow (literally or metaphorically) to other gods or their idols. To be fair, at Angkor Wat when handed an offering to lay before a particular idol at the entrance, I said "no thanks" repeatedly as the attendants repeatedly made clear what was expected. When I said "Christian" they smiled happily and let me pass. I thought that was very reasonable of them, given I was in a temple of their religion.
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Re: Standing in as a parent for a Cambodian wedding - advice?

Post by that genius » Tue May 01, 2018 4:08 pm

You won't be too hot in your Santa outfit? :stir:
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Re: Standing in as a parent for a Cambodian wedding - advice?

Post by StroppyChops » Tue May 01, 2018 6:23 pm

that genius wrote:
Tue May 01, 2018 4:08 pm
You won't be too hot in your Santa outfit? :stir:
Maybe it will rain, dear.
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Re: Standing in as a parent for a Cambodian wedding - advice?

Post by epidemiks » Tue May 01, 2018 6:38 pm

StroppyChops wrote:
Tue May 01, 2018 3:04 pm
epidemiks wrote:
Tue May 01, 2018 3:02 pm
My wife's cousin was tasked with tailing my parents and translating any instructions they didn't understand throughout the whole thing so we didn't have to do so during the ceremony. Well worth lining someone up for the job if you can, saves interrupting the wedding party if the organisers don't have an English speaking crew.
Oh, that's covered, the bride speaks English so she can translate for me! :D
That was my point - the bride, on her wedding day, will be preoccupied with a hundred people fussing around her, and the last thing she probably wants to do is translate.

Plus, there'll be times when you're not in the same room/place, but required to do x, change into y, or stand near z, so a floating translator will be useful.
StroppyChops wrote:
Tue May 01, 2018 3:36 pm
khmerhamster wrote:
Tue May 01, 2018 3:30 pm
StroppyChops wrote: Also, my faith is known here, what exchanges occur between the monks and the father of the bride, if any, other than the general blessings?
I don’t think there are too many interactions with the robed ones for the parents. But you may want to look into the any spiritual significances of the rituals to ensure that you are comfortable with them. I’m sure that there will be something online which explains significance.
Thanks. Yes, I've processed the faith/religion issues. I don't like it but I'm okay with others blessing me or chanting over me in the name of other gods, but I refuse to bow (literally or metaphorically) to other gods or their idols. To be fair, at Angkor Wat when handed an offering to lay before a particular idol at the entrance, I said "no thanks" repeatedly as the attendants repeatedly made clear what was expected. When I said "Christian" they smiled happily and let me pass. I thought that was very reasonable of them, given I was in a temple of their religion.
There'll be times in the ceremony when the bride and groom do the three bows thing, but I'm almost certain it doesn't apply to the parents.

Might be wise to get the bride to tell the wedding organisers, if she hasn't already, to set some expectations amongst the party of what you will and might not participate in, but, on the whole, you'll be in the middle of a Buddhist wedding ceremony, so probably nice to give their ceremony as much respect and leeway as they will give you, like the temple visit you described.
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Re: Standing in as a parent for a Cambodian wedding - advice?

Post by StroppyChops » Tue May 01, 2018 7:12 pm

epidemiks wrote:
Tue May 01, 2018 6:38 pm
StroppyChops wrote:
Tue May 01, 2018 3:04 pm
epidemiks wrote:
Tue May 01, 2018 3:02 pm
My wife's cousin was tasked with tailing my parents and translating any instructions they didn't understand throughout the whole thing so we didn't have to do so during the ceremony. Well worth lining someone up for the job if you can, saves interrupting the wedding party if the organisers don't have an English speaking crew.
Oh, that's covered, the bride speaks English so she can translate for me! :D
That was my point - the bride, on her wedding day, will be preoccupied with a hundred people fussing around her, and the last thing she probably wants to do is translate.
I kinda knew that!

Plus, there'll be times when you're not in the same room/place, but required to do x, change into y, or stand near z, so a floating translator will be useful.
StroppyChops wrote:
Tue May 01, 2018 3:36 pm
khmerhamster wrote:
Tue May 01, 2018 3:30 pm
StroppyChops wrote: Also, my faith is known here, what exchanges occur between the monks and the father of the bride, if any, other than the general blessings?
I don’t think there are too many interactions with the robed ones for the parents. But you may want to look into the any spiritual significances of the rituals to ensure that you are comfortable with them. I’m sure that there will be something online which explains significance.
Thanks. Yes, I've processed the faith/religion issues. I don't like it but I'm okay with others blessing me or chanting over me in the name of other gods, but I refuse to bow (literally or metaphorically) to other gods or their idols. To be fair, at Angkor Wat when handed an offering to lay before a particular idol at the entrance, I said "no thanks" repeatedly as the attendants repeatedly made clear what was expected. When I said "Christian" they smiled happily and let me pass. I thought that was very reasonable of them, given I was in a temple of their religion.
There'll be times in the ceremony when the bride and groom do the three bows thing, but I'm almost certain it doesn't apply to the parents.

Might be wise to get the bride to tell the wedding organisers, if she hasn't already, to set some expectations amongst the party of what you will and might not participate in, but, on the whole, you'll be in the middle of a Buddhist wedding ceremony, so probably nice to give their ceremony as much respect and leeway as they will give you, like the temple visit you described.
Great advice, thanks.
Bodge: This ain't Kansas, and the neighbours ate Toto!
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