Oh, You Internet.
- pissontheroof
- Expatriate
- Posts: 1906
- Joined: Fri Apr 13, 2018 6:12 pm
- Reputation: 347
Re: Oh, You Internet.
All of these were written on pictures that I had to copy - write
Copied by typing from an email
What do you call a lazy kangaroo . , pouch potato
What does a theosaurus have for breakfast A synonymm roll
Karl Marx is a historical famous philosopher but no one ever mention his sister Onya
the inventor of the starting pistol …
All these got a picture but I know they wouldn’t upload :
Did you hear Julie andrews will no longer endorse cheap lipstick ?
It crumbles easily and makes her breath smell, she explained
“ the super fragile lipstick gives me halitosis “
[ a blonde joke ]
I read that by law you have to turn your headlights on when it’s raining in Sweden
How the hell am i supposed to know if it’s raining in Sweden ?
Lance is a very uncommon name nowadays
But in medieval times people were called lance a lot
If your dentist fixed your cavities with different colors would it be ok
Or would you have mixed fillings ?
Wife : did i get fat during quarantine ?
Husband : you were never really skinny .
Time of death 4/25/20 11:23 pm
Cause of death : corona virus
This one has a cute picture of a couple ponies
I call my horse Mayo . And sometimes Mayo neighs .
[ this sounds like me and my fly swatting hobby ]
I don’t mean to brag but I just put a puzzle together in 1 day
and the box says 2-4 years
What do you call an irishman bouncing off the wall ?
Rick O’shay
If you boil a funny bone it becomes laughing stock .that’s humerus.
Another cute picture
Why did the phone wear glasses because it lost all its contacts
Sign on a gas station I guess
Where did terminator find toilet paper ?
Aisle B Back
If someone from Holland married a filipino would their kids be HOLLAPIÑos ?
Bread is like the sun it rises in the yeast and sets in the waist
Your riding a horse full speed there’s a giraffe next to you and a lion chasing you
What do you do ?
Get off the carousel
Why do the french eat snails ? Because they don’t like fast food ..
ฉิบหาย
write back 0r youll have bad luck =-=-
~ just kidding , up to -u .. ✰ ✈ ☯
pS _ - sometimes i sit and think - sometimes i just sit .
พิซออนเดอรูฟ ®
Copied by typing from an email
What do you call a lazy kangaroo . , pouch potato
What does a theosaurus have for breakfast A synonymm roll
Karl Marx is a historical famous philosopher but no one ever mention his sister Onya
the inventor of the starting pistol …
All these got a picture but I know they wouldn’t upload :
Did you hear Julie andrews will no longer endorse cheap lipstick ?
It crumbles easily and makes her breath smell, she explained
“ the super fragile lipstick gives me halitosis “
[ a blonde joke ]
I read that by law you have to turn your headlights on when it’s raining in Sweden
How the hell am i supposed to know if it’s raining in Sweden ?
Lance is a very uncommon name nowadays
But in medieval times people were called lance a lot
If your dentist fixed your cavities with different colors would it be ok
Or would you have mixed fillings ?
Wife : did i get fat during quarantine ?
Husband : you were never really skinny .
Time of death 4/25/20 11:23 pm
Cause of death : corona virus
This one has a cute picture of a couple ponies
I call my horse Mayo . And sometimes Mayo neighs .
[ this sounds like me and my fly swatting hobby ]
I don’t mean to brag but I just put a puzzle together in 1 day
and the box says 2-4 years
What do you call an irishman bouncing off the wall ?
Rick O’shay
If you boil a funny bone it becomes laughing stock .that’s humerus.
Another cute picture
Why did the phone wear glasses because it lost all its contacts
Sign on a gas station I guess
Where did terminator find toilet paper ?
Aisle B Back
If someone from Holland married a filipino would their kids be HOLLAPIÑos ?
Bread is like the sun it rises in the yeast and sets in the waist
Your riding a horse full speed there’s a giraffe next to you and a lion chasing you
What do you do ?
Get off the carousel
Why do the french eat snails ? Because they don’t like fast food ..
ฉิบหาย
write back 0r youll have bad luck =-=-
~ just kidding , up to -u .. ✰ ✈ ☯
pS _ - sometimes i sit and think - sometimes i just sit .
พิซออนเดอรูฟ ®
พิซออนเดอรูฟ
- Username Taken
- Raven
- Posts: 13937
- Joined: Mon May 19, 2014 6:53 pm
- Reputation: 6010
- pissontheroof
- Expatriate
- Posts: 1906
- Joined: Fri Apr 13, 2018 6:12 pm
- Reputation: 347
Re: Oh, You Internet.
I saw that picture just now when I was looking for the above
Biting the hand that feeds you
พิซออนเดอรูฟ
- pissontheroof
- Expatriate
- Posts: 1906
- Joined: Fri Apr 13, 2018 6:12 pm
- Reputation: 347
Re: Oh, You Internet.
Recently I lost a friend of mine i met a long time ago in japan, and no matter how i entered his name ( into obituaries search etc )
alway came up blank , i always wondered why he would just forward emails to undisclosed recipients and said this dude got too much time on his hands and why me lord ? But when they stopped after years and years I noticed and wondered about this old dude .
Then I got this email titled kodak moments or some
There was all these (42 ) amazing incredible pictures of anything and everything which I could never upload on here . But this was at the end
… after all the unbelievable photos !
Please read the following.
This explains why friends forward jokes. I've never thought of it this way before.
A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead. He remembered dying and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them.
After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road.
It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight.
When he was standing before it, he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother-of-pearl and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold. He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side.
When he was close enough, he called out, "Excuse me, where are we?"
"This is Heaven, sir," the man answered.
"Wow! Would you happen to have some water?" the man asked.
"Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up." The man gestured, and the gate began to open. "Can my friend," gesturing toward his dog, "come in, too?" the traveller asked.
"I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets."
The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going with his dog. After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road leading through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence.
As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book.
"Excuse me!" he called the man. "Do you have any water?"
"Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there, come on in."
"How about my friend here?" the traveller gestured to the dog.
"There should be a bowl by the pump," said the man.
They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it. The traveler filled the water bowl and took a long drink himself, and then he gave some to the dog.
When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree.
"What do you call this place?" the traveller asked.
"This is Heaven," he answered.
"Well, that's confusing," the traveller said.
"The man down the road said that was Heaven, too."
"Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That's Hell."
"Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?"
"No, we're just happy that they screen out the folks who would leave their best friends behind."
So , sometimes, we wonder why friends keep forwarding stuff to us without writing a word. Maybe this will explain it.
When you are very busy, but still want to keep in touch, guess what you do? You forward emails .When you have nothing to say, but still want to keep contact, you forward jokes .When you have something to say, but don't know what, and don't know how... you forward stuff.
A 'forward' lets you know that
You are still remembered,
You are still important,
You are still cared for.
So, next time if you get a 'forward', don't think that you've been sent just another forwarded joke, but that you've been thought of today and your friend on the other end of your computer wanted to send you a smile.
You are welcome at my water bowl anytime ...
So here's to keeping in touch.
Even if it sometimes means only forwarding on an email .
alway came up blank , i always wondered why he would just forward emails to undisclosed recipients and said this dude got too much time on his hands and why me lord ? But when they stopped after years and years I noticed and wondered about this old dude .
Then I got this email titled kodak moments or some
There was all these (42 ) amazing incredible pictures of anything and everything which I could never upload on here . But this was at the end
… after all the unbelievable photos !
Please read the following.
This explains why friends forward jokes. I've never thought of it this way before.
A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead. He remembered dying and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them.
After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road.
It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight.
When he was standing before it, he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother-of-pearl and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold. He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side.
When he was close enough, he called out, "Excuse me, where are we?"
"This is Heaven, sir," the man answered.
"Wow! Would you happen to have some water?" the man asked.
"Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up." The man gestured, and the gate began to open. "Can my friend," gesturing toward his dog, "come in, too?" the traveller asked.
"I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets."
The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going with his dog. After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road leading through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence.
As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book.
"Excuse me!" he called the man. "Do you have any water?"
"Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there, come on in."
"How about my friend here?" the traveller gestured to the dog.
"There should be a bowl by the pump," said the man.
They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it. The traveler filled the water bowl and took a long drink himself, and then he gave some to the dog.
When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree.
"What do you call this place?" the traveller asked.
"This is Heaven," he answered.
"Well, that's confusing," the traveller said.
"The man down the road said that was Heaven, too."
"Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That's Hell."
"Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?"
"No, we're just happy that they screen out the folks who would leave their best friends behind."
So , sometimes, we wonder why friends keep forwarding stuff to us without writing a word. Maybe this will explain it.
When you are very busy, but still want to keep in touch, guess what you do? You forward emails .When you have nothing to say, but still want to keep contact, you forward jokes .When you have something to say, but don't know what, and don't know how... you forward stuff.
A 'forward' lets you know that
You are still remembered,
You are still important,
You are still cared for.
So, next time if you get a 'forward', don't think that you've been sent just another forwarded joke, but that you've been thought of today and your friend on the other end of your computer wanted to send you a smile.
You are welcome at my water bowl anytime ...
So here's to keeping in touch.
Even if it sometimes means only forwarding on an email .
พิซออนเดอรูฟ
- pissontheroof
- Expatriate
- Posts: 1906
- Joined: Fri Apr 13, 2018 6:12 pm
- Reputation: 347
Re: Oh, You Internet.
I myself when i used to forward those emails on i would delete the “Fwd:” in the title and delete his name date and email info and fword it onto other unsuspecting dummies ( my kids and relatives) like i made it up myself
พิซออนเดอรูฟ
- Clutch Cargo
- Expatriate
- Posts: 7744
- Joined: Mon Mar 26, 2018 3:09 pm
- Reputation: 6003
Re: Oh, You Internet.
Only in Japan..
- Clutch Cargo
- Expatriate
- Posts: 7744
- Joined: Mon Mar 26, 2018 3:09 pm
- Reputation: 6003
Re: Oh, You Internet.
From FB
This carnivorous plant is called Nepenthes Holdanii and grows west of Cambodia, about 600-800 feet above sea level.
This carnivorous plant is called Nepenthes Holdanii and grows west of Cambodia, about 600-800 feet above sea level.
- Clutch Cargo
- Expatriate
- Posts: 7744
- Joined: Mon Mar 26, 2018 3:09 pm
- Reputation: 6003
-
- Expatriate
- Posts: 13458
- Joined: Wed May 28, 2014 11:37 pm
- Reputation: 3974
Re: Oh, You Internet.
Already on CEO !clutchcargo wrote: ↑Wed Aug 04, 2021 9:00 pm From FB
This carnivorous plant is called Nepenthes Holdanii and grows west of Cambodia, about 600-800 feet above sea level.
general-chatter/cambodia-wildflowers-an ... 45515.html
-
- Similar Topics
- Replies
- Views
- Last post
-
- 6 Replies
- 4252 Views
-
Last post by DavidFieldman
-
- 3 Replies
- 6661 Views
-
Last post by fsdfdsdf
-
- 4 Replies
- 4101 Views
-
Last post by Bluenose
-
- 11 Replies
- 7355 Views
-
Last post by mossie
-
- 10 Replies
- 4577 Views
-
Last post by newkidontheblock
-
- 7 Replies
- 1524 Views
-
Last post by whereami
-
- 10 Replies
- 6861 Views
-
Last post by twensolr91
Who is online
Users browsing this forum: Big Daikon, Doc67, Google [Bot], Jerry Atrick, Roryborealis, xandreu and 881 guests