Oh, You Internet.
Re: Oh, You Internet.
I'll see your Bad Santa and raise you a Dumb and Dumber
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Re: Oh, You Internet.
Most of our generation was HOME SCHOOLED in many ways.
1. My mother taught me: TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside.
I just finished cleaning the house."
2. My mother taught me: RELIGION.
"You better pray that stain will come out of the carpet."
3. My father taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up,
I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My father taught me: LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me: MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck,
you're not coming to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me: FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear,
in case you're in an accident."
7. My father taught me; IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Just you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?
"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11 My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times.
Don't exaggerate!"
13. My father taught me: THE CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out..."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in
this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it from your father when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me: MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes,
they are going to get stuck that way."
19. My mother taught me: ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My father taught me: HUMOUR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes,
don't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me: HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me: GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you.
Do you think you were born in a tent?"
24. My mother taught me: WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand.
25. My father taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids
and I hope they turn out just like you!"
1. My mother taught me: TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside.
I just finished cleaning the house."
2. My mother taught me: RELIGION.
"You better pray that stain will come out of the carpet."
3. My father taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up,
I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My father taught me: LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me: MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck,
you're not coming to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me: FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear,
in case you're in an accident."
7. My father taught me; IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Just you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?
"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11 My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times.
Don't exaggerate!"
13. My father taught me: THE CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out..."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in
this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it from your father when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me: MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes,
they are going to get stuck that way."
19. My mother taught me: ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My father taught me: HUMOUR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes,
don't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me: HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me: GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you.
Do you think you were born in a tent?"
24. My mother taught me: WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand.
25. My father taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids
and I hope they turn out just like you!"
- Arget
- Expatriate
- Posts: 3261
- Joined: Sun Aug 20, 2017 7:44 am
- Reputation: 2417
- Location: Phnom Penh
- Contact:
Re: Oh, You Internet.
I had two of these and when this whining starts it is the beginning of the end. You can cut the noise a bit by injecting with "overseas holiday" "new kitchen" or "paint the house" but this is only a temporary fix.
When the first "whine" starts you need to distribute your assets and money in safe places so that when she hits the destruct button you have something left to begin again.
Unlike sane people I attempted to master another imported model but , although it had more miles on the clock, it was less maintenance but ultimately the whine began a few years ago. I suffered from "lose house and contents" in return for "keep eachs own super"
Some models can be free from major maintenance but theses are sadly in the minority.
Good luck.
Ps. Don't go for the trade in option as it generally blows up in your face.
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