Oh, You Internet.

Yeah, that place out 'there'. Anything not really Cambodia related should go here.
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Brody
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Re: Oh, You Internet.

Post by Brody » Fri Nov 29, 2019 11:06 am

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Re: Oh, You Internet.

Post by Username Taken » Fri Nov 29, 2019 12:19 pm

Company Memo
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: November 4, 2019.
RE: Gala Christmas Party

I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd,
starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House.
There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols...
feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus!
A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 PM. Exchanges of gifts among employees can be done at that time;
however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets.
This gathering is only for employees!
Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time!
Merry Christmas to you and your family,
Patty












Company Memo
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: November 5, 2019.
RE: Gala Holiday Party

In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that
Hanukkah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year.
However, from now on, we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to any other
employees who are not Christians and to those still celebrating Reconciliation Day.
There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas carols will be sung.
We will have other types of music for your enjoyment.
Happy now?
Happy Holidays to you and your family,
Patty












Company Memo
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: November 6, 2019.
RE: Holiday Party

Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking
table, you didn't sign your name...
I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA Only", you
wouldn't be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed to handle this?
Somebody?
And sorry, but forget about the gift exchange, no gifts are allowed since the union members feel
that $10.00 is too much money and the executives believe $10.00 is a little chintzy.
REMEMBER: NO GIFTS EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.
Patty












Company Memo
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
To: All Employees
DATE: November 7, 2019
RE: Generic Holiday Party

What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20thbegins the Muslim holy month
of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours.
There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does
not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs. Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving
your meal until the end of the party or else package everything for you to take it home in little
foil doggy baggy. Will that work?
Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet,
and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms.
Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with Gay men, each group will
have their own table.
Yes, there will be flower arrangement for the Gay men's table.
To the person asking permission to cross dress, the Grill House asks that no cross-dressing be
allowed, apparently because of concerns about confusion in the restrooms. Sorry.
We will have booster seats for short people.
Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet.
I am sorry to report that we cannot control the amount of salt used in the food . The Grill House
suggests that people with high blood pressure taste a bite first.
There will be fresh "low sugar" fruits as dessert for diabetics, but the restaurant cannot supply
"no sugar" desserts. Sorry!
Did I miss anything?!?!?
Patty












Company Memo
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All F*%^ing Employees
DATE: November 8, 2019
RE: The F*%^ing Holiday Party

I've had it with you vegetarian pricks!!! We're going to keep this party at the Grill House whether
you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so
quaintly put it, and you'll get your f*%^ing salad bar, including organic tomatoes.
But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I've heard them
scream. I'm hearing them scream right NOW!
The rest of you f*%^ing wierdos can kiss my *ss. I hope you all have a rotten holiday!
Drive drunk and die,
The B*tch from H*ll!!!












Company Memo
FROM: Joan Bishop,
Acting Human Resources Director
DATE: November 9, 2019
RE: Patty Lewis and Holiday Party

I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery from her recent nervous
breakdown and I'll continue to forward your cards to her at the asylum.
In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the
afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.
Happy Whatever!
Joan.
... give 'em a quick, short, sharp shock ...

https://BooksAboutCambodia.com
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Re: Oh, You Internet.

Post by SternAAlbifrons » Fri Nov 29, 2019 12:53 pm

Thanks for the early Chrissy Ute ^^^ I am weeping.
That is just about the funniest thing i have ever read.
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Re: Oh, You Internet.

Post by Brody » Sat Nov 30, 2019 8:48 am

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Re: Oh, You Internet.

Post by Brody » Sun Dec 01, 2019 2:31 pm

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Re: Oh, You Internet.

Post by Brody » Mon Dec 02, 2019 1:55 pm

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Re: Oh, You Internet.

Post by Brody » Mon Dec 02, 2019 5:36 pm

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Re: Oh, You Internet.

Post by Brody » Tue Dec 03, 2019 12:00 pm

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Re: Oh, You Internet.

Post by Kung-fu Hillbilly » Thu Dec 05, 2019 1:21 pm

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The idea that seeing the world is going from place to place to look at obvious things is an illusion natural to dull minds.
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Re: Oh, You Internet.

Post by Kung-fu Hillbilly » Thu Dec 05, 2019 6:05 pm

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The idea that seeing the world is going from place to place to look at obvious things is an illusion natural to dull minds.
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