The world just got a little less funny.



Joan Rivers, the comedian who has died aged 81, was celebrated for her fearless put-downs and zingers.

Throughout her lengthy career, she took as much pleasure directing her acid-tongued humour towards herself as she did tearing apart other celebrities.

“The trouble with me is, I make jokes too often,” the comedian, told The Associated Press last year.

“That's how I get through life. Life is SO difficult — everybody's been through something! But you laugh at it, it becomes smaller.”

Here are some of the bold comedian’s best jokes, but unfortunately without her spot-on delivery:

1) I like colonic irrigation because sometimes you find old jewellery.

2) My love life is like a piece of Swiss cheese. Most of it's missing, and what's there stinks.

3) All babies look like Renée Zellweger pushed against a glass window.

4) I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

5) I said to my mother-in-law, “My house is your house.” She said, “Get the hell off my property.”

6) Madonna is so hairy. When she lifted her arm, I thought it was Tina Turner in her armpit.

7) I said to my husband, “my boobs have gone, my stomach's gone, say something nice about my legs”. He said, “Blue goes with everything.”

I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was, “The man goes on top and the woman underneath.” For three years, my husband and I slept in bunk beds.

9) Mick Jagger could French-kiss a moose. He has child-bearing lips.

10) Elizabeth Taylor was so fat that whenever she went to London in a red dress, 30 passengers would try to board her.

11) My daughter and I are very close. We speak every single day and I call her every day and I say the same thing, "Pick up, I know you’re there." And she says the same thing back, "How’d you get this new number?

12) I bought a pedigree dog for $300. My friend said, "Give me $300. and I'll shit on your carpet."

13) I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without plastic surgery.

14) Joan Collins lies about her age so much we should have her body carbon-dated.

...click link to read original article and for more pictures...

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/peopl ... 12987.html

I thought she was just a talk show host. Or am I totally mixing her up with someone else?

The Add Jay wrote:
She was N.Y all the way...the judgmental ridicule of complete strangers. I catch myself doing it here in Cambodia very often and my gf freaks the fuck out. "UP TO HER!" "UP TO HIM!" "NOT TALK SO MUCH ABOUT PEOPLE YOU NOT KNOW SURE!"

LMAO!