America Election

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Anchor Moy
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Re: America Election

Post by Anchor Moy »

bolueeleh wrote:To the citizens of the United States of America, in light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today.
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II resumes monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy.
Your new prime minister (The Right Honourable Theresa May) will appoint a Minister for America. Congress and the Senate are disbanded. A questionnaire circulated next year will determine whether any of you noticed.
To aid your transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
1. Look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Check "aluminium" in the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you pronounce it. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour'. Likewise you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters. Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary."
Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up "interspersed." There will be no more 'bleeps' in the Jerry Springer show. If you're not old enough to cope with bad language then you should not have chat shows.
2. There is no such thing as "U.S. English." We'll let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u'.
3. You should learn to distinguish English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard. English accents are not limited to cockney, upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier). Scottish dramas such as 'Taggart' will no longer be broadcast with subtitles.You must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in England. The name of the county is "Devon." If you persist in calling it Devonshire, all American States will become "shires" e.g. Texasshire Floridashire, Louisianashire.
4. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1.
5. You should stop playing American "football." There's only one kind of football. What you call American "football" is not a very good game. The 2.1% of you aware there is a world outside your borders may have noticed no one else plays "American" football. You should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls.
Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies).
You should stop playing baseball. It's not reasonable to host an event called the 'World Series' for a game which is not played outside of America. Instead of baseball, you will be allowed to play a girls' game called "rounders," which is baseball without fancy team stripe, oversized gloves, collector cards or hotdogs.
6. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns, or anything more dangerous in public than a vegetable peeler. Because you are not sensible enough to handle potentially dangerous items, you need a permit to carry a vegetable peeler.
7. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 8th will be a new national holiday. It will be called "Indecisive Day."
8. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left. At the same time, you will go metric without the benefit of conversion tables. Roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.
9. Learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips. Fries aren't French, they're Belgian though 97.8% of you (including the guy who discovered fries while in Europe) are not aware of a country called Belgium. Potato chips are properly called "crisps." Real chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat. The traditional accompaniment to chips is beer which should be served warm and flat.
10. The cold tasteless stuff you call beer is actually lager. Only proper British Bitter will be referred to as "beer." Substances once known as "American Beer" will henceforth be referred to as "Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine," except for the product of the American Budweiser company which will be called "Weak Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine." This will allow true Budweiser (as manufactured for the last 1000 years in Pilsen, Czech Republic) to be sold without risk of confusion.
11. The UK will harmonise petrol prices (or "Gasoline," as you will be permitted to keep calling it) for those of the former USA, adopting UK petrol prices (roughly $6/US gallon, get used to it).
12. Learn to resolve personal issues without guns, lawyers or therapists. That you need many lawyers and therapists shows you're not adult enough to be independent. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.
13. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.
14. Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).
Thank you for your co-operation.

lifted off facebook, credit Richard Gallahad
:thumb: What he said, especially about the vegetable peelers.
And learn to take a joke also.
Bertros
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Re: America Election

Post by Bertros »

An interesting take from someone who (prolly) needs to know.

http://www.msn.com/en-us/money/markets/ ... ailsignout


President-elect Donald Trump will last no more than four years in the White House, a period when corporations and Wall Street will retain the upper hand over the struggling workers who helped elect him in a populist wave, bond manager Bill Gross of Janus Capital Group Inc (JNS.N) said on Wednesday.
In his monthly investment outlook, "Populism Takes a Wrong Turn," Gross also said "there is no new Trump bull market in the offing," and that global diversified investors should be "satisfied" with 3 percent to 5 percent annual returns.


full disclosure: I tend to agree with this that he'll be a 1-termer, unfortunately I think there will be a bit of 'buyers remorse' coming our way soon and the next election will whipsaw us in the other direction. I have to admit some disappointment in his selection of this guy Steve Bannon, he seems a wee bit extreme.

just sayin'

Bertros :hattip:
A taste of the bait is worth the pain of the hook.....
Sailorman
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Re: America Election

Post by Sailorman »

Taab: Not a registered American voter/citizen? Than all you can do is post on forums and gossip. I voted and for Trump.

As stated Donald will surround himself with smart/wise people. He is already trying to mend fences with his party and has extended an olive branch by his first nomination to his staff. I don't see the people and Hollywood drones that stated they would leave if Trump was elected actually leaving. I vote for giving anyone that stated they would leave America if Trump was elected a free bus ride to the Mexican border. No takers? They can ride with all the illegals that will be headed in that direction real soon.

Ford Motors executive are already bitching about NAFTA being repealed. They say their "supply system" will be stopped. You mean the factories that were moved to Mexico from America and American jobs being given to low paid Mexicans, that supply system? Walmart must be scared as Donald has said he will tax Chinese goods as they should have been taxed before. BTW/ The tax laws have been on the books in America for years, but the bought off politicians in Washington DC refused to implement the tax's for their Chinese masters. Looks like Donald will be starting to drain the swamp from day one.

I absolutely love the picture of Obama-Iben-Lying with a bunch of Chinese business executives at the White house. There is just about the same picture without the Obamanation taken in China and all the "business executives " have generals uniforms on.

With Trump being elected I have already won a steak dinner at Missing Monkey (Monkey Mark's) in Sihanoukville. See, Donald is already making good things happen. I predict that Trump will be reelected in 4 years. In the next four years Donald will get NAFTA dumped, make NATO countries and Japan, Korea, etc pay their fair share, deport a lot of illegal aliens, start rebuilding the American freeways bridges, roads and at least parts of the wall will be built. Trump will pay for his programs by not getting us in a lot of brush-wars, forming economic/diplomatic bridges with Russia, again making countries pay for protection, and in dumping NAFTA and a new tax scale, a lot of factory jobs will be returning to America. It won't happen over night, but it will happen. Oh! BTW/ He will protect my 2nd Amendment rights by putting Supreme Court judges in that abide by our Constitution and its Amendments.
taabarang
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Re: America Election

Post by taabarang »

SM wrote, "He is already trying to mend fences with his party ..."
What horse shit! You may think appointing Bannon may heal wounds, but most leading Republicans see him as a live hand grenade. Fire in the hole Sparky!

http://www.bbc.com/news/election-us-2016-37971742

And here's a bit on the infighting.
http://www.npr.org/2016/11/16/502301828 ... transition
As my old Cajun bait seller used to say, "I opes you luck.
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cptrelentless
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Re: America Election

Post by cptrelentless »

On 60 Minutes Trump called the Clintons good people. He also prevaricated on a number of his campaign promises, including his Wall. Let the back-tracking commence. He's not going to get rid of NAFTA. He's not going to get rid of Obamacare, as what you have is the Republican version already. He's not going to kick out the immigrants or ban the m-words or any of that populist crap he spouted. What will most likely happen is due to Mike Pence being a right-wing church freak and the only guy with political experience you'll find that all your weed businesses get ground under the heel of the Federal government, as Federally it's still a crime to smoke pot, and no more softly-softly Mr nice Kenyan. Then the liberals really will suck it.
Sailorman
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Re: America Election

Post by Sailorman »

Most of Obama care is done. NAFTA real soon will be a thing of the past. I see a fast track deportation process in the works. Pot laws by the states are here to stay. Since you are not an American you may want to look up past cases of "States Rights."

TAAB: You seem to be an expert a what comes out of the rear end of a horse, but we have to break "exspert" down to its basics. "Ex" is something that has been and "spert" is a drip under pressure.

I love it when non-Americans and non-registered American voters beat their chests and write misinformed and uneducated predictions about America. I've already won one steak on Trump, anyone in Snookyville want to put up $15. cash for a Monkey Mark's steak? If anyone wants to put their money where their mouth is, Mark can hold the money. On NAFTA? On Deportations? What! No takers? It figures. All BS and just wimps that don't back up their words.

BBC=British Blundering Copulatory
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bolueeleh
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Re: America Election

Post by bolueeleh »

i will take u up on that bet and 100$ bet for you to stop posting about america politics stuff for 3 months
Money is not the problem, the problem is no money
Michael2002
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Re: America Election

Post by Michael2002 »

4 years of a fascist dictatorship in uSA . He will destroy the usa . If he doesnt get impeached or assasinated , { I called for that a long time ago before he was so protected }, he will get humiliated at the next election and someone decent and honest with some integrity like Bernie Sanders will be our president .Fuck trump and his fascist /ignorant followers .
Bertros
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Re: America Election

Post by Bertros »

Michael2002 wrote:4 years of a fascist dictatorship in uSA . He will destroy the usa . If he doesnt get impeached or assasinated , { I called for that a long time ago before he was so protected }, he will get humiliated at the next election and someone decent and honest with some integrity like Bernie Sanders will be our president .Fuck trump and his fascist /ignorant followers .
thanks for contributing, that was a very informative post.

calling for the pres of the US to be killed is out of line and unacceptable.

period.

you should be banned for it.

Bertros :hattip:
A taste of the bait is worth the pain of the hook.....
Bertros
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Re: America Election

Post by Bertros »

cptrelentless wrote:On 60 Minutes Trump called the Clintons good people. He also prevaricated on a number of his campaign promises, including his Wall. Let the back-tracking commence. He's not going to get rid of NAFTA. He's not going to get rid of Obamacare, as what you have is the Republican version already. He's not going to kick out the immigrants or ban the m-words or any of that populist crap he spouted. What will most likely happen is due to Mike Pence being a right-wing church freak and the only guy with political experience you'll find that all your weed businesses get ground under the heel of the Federal government, as Federally it's still a crime to smoke pot, and no more softly-softly Mr nice Kenyan. Then the liberals really will suck it.

don't think they will get rid of the weed businesses, they pay way to much in taxes.
in fact they are making it more available (more states have voted for it's legalization) and in Denver
they have voted to be able to use it in (some) public businesses.
this while smoking tabacco bans have increased.

BTW: 'prevaricated'--good word!

cheers

Bertros :hattip:
A taste of the bait is worth the pain of the hook.....
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