Ahh America; how to become a zombie:
- phuketrichard
- Expatriate
- Posts: 16880
- Joined: Wed May 14, 2014 5:17 pm
- Reputation: 5782
- Location: Atlantis
Ahh America; how to become a zombie:
$63,000 a Year from Uncle Sam
how to become a zombie:
Follow these easy, proven 13 steps to financial well-being...
1. Don't get married to her
2. Use your mom’s address to get mail sent to
3. Guy buys a house
4. Guy rents out house to his girlfriend who has two of his kids
5. Section 8 will pay $900 a month for a three-bedroom home
6. Girlfriend signs up for Obamacare so guy doesn't have to pay out the butt for family insurance
7. Girlfriend gets to go to college free for being a single mother
8. Girlfriend gets $600 a month for food stamps
9. Girlfriend gets free cellphone
10. Girlfriend gets free utilities
11. Guy moves into home but uses mom's house to get mail sent to
12. Girlfriend claims one kid and guy claims one kid on taxes� now you both get to claim head of household at $1,800 credit
13. Girlfriend gets disability for being "bipolar" or having a "bad back" at $1,800 a month and never has to work again
This plan is perfectly legal and is being executed now by millions of people.
A married couple with a stay-at-home mom yields $0.00 dollars.
An unmarried couple with stay-at-home mom nets:
$21,600 disability +
$10,800 free housing +
$6,000 free Obamacare +
$6,000 free food +
$4,800 free utilities +
$6,000 Pell grant money to spend +
$8,800 tax benefit for being a single mother
= $63,000 a year in benefits
We haven’t verified the details above� But if they’re correct� $63,000 a year is not chicken feed.
how to become a zombie:
Follow these easy, proven 13 steps to financial well-being...
1. Don't get married to her
2. Use your mom’s address to get mail sent to
3. Guy buys a house
4. Guy rents out house to his girlfriend who has two of his kids
5. Section 8 will pay $900 a month for a three-bedroom home
6. Girlfriend signs up for Obamacare so guy doesn't have to pay out the butt for family insurance
7. Girlfriend gets to go to college free for being a single mother
8. Girlfriend gets $600 a month for food stamps
9. Girlfriend gets free cellphone
10. Girlfriend gets free utilities
11. Guy moves into home but uses mom's house to get mail sent to
12. Girlfriend claims one kid and guy claims one kid on taxes� now you both get to claim head of household at $1,800 credit
13. Girlfriend gets disability for being "bipolar" or having a "bad back" at $1,800 a month and never has to work again
This plan is perfectly legal and is being executed now by millions of people.
A married couple with a stay-at-home mom yields $0.00 dollars.
An unmarried couple with stay-at-home mom nets:
$21,600 disability +
$10,800 free housing +
$6,000 free Obamacare +
$6,000 free food +
$4,800 free utilities +
$6,000 Pell grant money to spend +
$8,800 tax benefit for being a single mother
= $63,000 a year in benefits
We haven’t verified the details above� But if they’re correct� $63,000 a year is not chicken feed.
In a nation run by swine, all pigs are upward-mobile and the rest of us are fucked until we can put our acts together: not necessarily to win, but mainly to keep from losing completely. HST
- General Mackevili
- The General
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Re: Ahh America; how to become a zombie:
They need to explain step 3 a little better.
"Life is too important to take seriously."
"Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh."
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- vladimir
- The Pun-isher
- Posts: 6077
- Joined: Mon May 12, 2014 6:51 pm
- Reputation: 185
- Location: The Kremlin
Re: Ahh America; how to become a zombie:
$63,000 a year but no puns?
Hell on earth.
Hell on earth.
Jesus loves you...Mexico is great, right?
-
- Site Admin
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- Joined: Fri May 02, 2014 8:05 pm
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Re: Ahh America; how to become a zombie:
12. Girlfriend claims one kid and guy claims one kid on taxes now you both get to claim head of household at $1,800 credit
Not true. If he's living at his mothers house (based on mail) he fails the "You paid more than half the cost of keeping up a home for the year." test.
13. Girlfriend gets disability for being "bipolar" or having a "bad back" at $1,800 a month and never has to work again
Much harder than this makes it sound. Sure, some people are abusing it, but the same time it took them a LOT of effort to get to that point. A lot more than this makes it seem like. I have a friend with a very legitimate medical condition in which her stomach has stopped digesting food properly. She has a hole in her side she hooks a feeding tube up to for nutrients, and even then it's still not processing all of the nutrients. She's wasting and is under medical orders to pretty much not do anything. Still fighting to get on disability, multiple hearings/etc. And no live in nurse because welfare says if they live in your house you have to claim their income... even if you're the one paying it.
Not true. If he's living at his mothers house (based on mail) he fails the "You paid more than half the cost of keeping up a home for the year." test.
13. Girlfriend gets disability for being "bipolar" or having a "bad back" at $1,800 a month and never has to work again
Much harder than this makes it sound. Sure, some people are abusing it, but the same time it took them a LOT of effort to get to that point. A lot more than this makes it seem like. I have a friend with a very legitimate medical condition in which her stomach has stopped digesting food properly. She has a hole in her side she hooks a feeding tube up to for nutrients, and even then it's still not processing all of the nutrients. She's wasting and is under medical orders to pretty much not do anything. Still fighting to get on disability, multiple hearings/etc. And no live in nurse because welfare says if they live in your house you have to claim their income... even if you're the one paying it.
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