Clean Reader app ... Oh well, F**k it
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Clean Reader app ... Oh well, F**k it
Clean Reader, a new censorship app dreamed up by a couple of despotically hokey parents from Idaho, is now facing a backlash. If you’ve somehow missed the story up to this point, it’s fairly straightforward: Jared and Kirsten Maughan from Twin Falls came up with the idea for the app after their daughter complained about some swear words in a book she was reading. So they did what any healthy Christian family would do: they tried to cash in. The product? An app with three censorship settings: clean, cleaner, and squeaky-clean. .... . . “vagina” was swapped for “bottom” . . .
Are these "Christian founders of Clean Reader" intent on misleading kids about reproduction, or are they simply keen on anal sex?
Profanities such as “fucking” and “fucker” became “freaking” and “idiot”, “hell” became “heck” and “shit” became “crap”, according to an analysis of the app by Jennifer Porter. It was not only swear words that Clean Reader scrubbed out of books: Porter, who ran a series of romance novels through the app, found that body parts were also replaced. “Penis” became “groin”, “vagina” was swapped for “bottom” and “breast” changed to “chest”. Exclamations such as “Jesus Christ” became “geez”, “piss” became “pee”, “bitch” became “witch” and “blowjob” was switched with the euphemistic “pleasure”.
http://www.theguardian.com/books/2015/m ... -celebrate
[some funny comments]
My favorite is: "Fuck me in the Ass for Jesus"
Note: It helps if you turn on YouTube subtitles/CC (closed captions)
edit: bad idea, those subs suck, lol
Last edited by Milord on Thu Apr 09, 2015 10:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Clean Reader app ... Oh well, F**k it
The Loophole LYRICS
Garfunkel & Oates
All my life I've been good
Do what my mom and dad and God say I should
Go to church and Bible School
To live by God's rule
So whatever people tell me
That The Bible tells me
I will do
Walk the halls of high school with my purity ring
Unlike those other girls, I've got my morals in check
It was easy to do until I got a boyfriend
And pardon my French, but he's cute as heck
But I made a pact
To keep my hymen intact
And Jesus and I are tight
Never learned about the birds and the bees
I was taught to keep an aspirin in between my knees
Cause The Bible says premarital sex is wrong
But Jason says that guys can't wait that long
I don't want to lose him
To someone who'll do him
I need to figure something out
Well there's a loophole in The Scripture that works really well
So I can get him off without going to hell
It's my Hail Mary, full of grace
In Jesus' name we go to fifth base!
Oh, thank you for making me holy
And thank you for giving me holes to choose from
And since I'm not a godless whore
He'll have to come in the back door
Therefore
Fuck me in the ass cause I love Jesus
The good Lord would want it that way
Gimme that sweet sensation of a throbbing rationalization
It's just between you and me
Cause everyone knows it's the sex that God can't see
It's hard to be as pure as me
To resist the urge to lose my vaginal virginity
To wait until my marriage bed
To give my husband my unsullied maiden head
So take your cock out
Shove it in my ass
Fuck me until you come
Oops! I mean let's join our souls
And unite our bodies
And fly with the wings of God
Whatever you do, don't touch my clitoris
If you ring Satan's doorbell, God can't ignore this
And no prophylactics when you put it in
Cause birth control's for sluts and it's a sin
I've emptied my bowels
And laid out the towels
I'm ready for romance
Now I'm praying to the Power that's the Highest
But of all of my holes, this ones the driest
And we can't procreate if we anally copulate
And God is OK with sodomy, but only if you're straight
And I'm staying pure, no matter what
So I'm OK with everything butt
Everything butt
Everything butt
Fuck me in the ass cause I love Jesus
The good Lord would want it that way
Gimme that sweet sensation of a rock hard rationalization
It's just between you and me
Cause everyone knows it's the sex that God can't see
I do whatever The Bible tells me to
Except for the parts that I choose to ignore
Because they're unrealistic and inconvenient
But the rest I live by for sure
So let's not talk about how the Good Book bans shellfish, polyester and divorce
And how it condones slavery and killing gays because those parts don't count, of course
Let's cherry-pick the part about losing my cherry and mine it for ambiguities and omissions
To circumvent any real sacrifice, but still feel pious in my arbitrary parroted positions
And don't you dare question my convictions
And don't look closely at the contradictions
Just focus on the sacrificial crucifixion
And have faith in its complete jurisdiction
As the only way to measure if you're good or not
And in a debate, just say to “have faith”
Because when you're up against logic, it's the only card you've got
So close your eyes
Take a deep breath
And..
Fuck me in the ass cause I love Jesus
The good Lord would want it that way
Gimme that sweet sensation of an irrational rationalization
It's just between you and me
Cause everyone knows it's the sex that God can't see
Yeah, my chastity belt has locks
But sometimes you need to think outside the box
http://genius.com/Garfunkel-and-oates-t ... ole-lyrics
Garfunkel & Oates
All my life I've been good
Do what my mom and dad and God say I should
Go to church and Bible School
To live by God's rule
So whatever people tell me
That The Bible tells me
I will do
Walk the halls of high school with my purity ring
Unlike those other girls, I've got my morals in check
It was easy to do until I got a boyfriend
And pardon my French, but he's cute as heck
But I made a pact
To keep my hymen intact
And Jesus and I are tight
Never learned about the birds and the bees
I was taught to keep an aspirin in between my knees
Cause The Bible says premarital sex is wrong
But Jason says that guys can't wait that long
I don't want to lose him
To someone who'll do him
I need to figure something out
Well there's a loophole in The Scripture that works really well
So I can get him off without going to hell
It's my Hail Mary, full of grace
In Jesus' name we go to fifth base!
Oh, thank you for making me holy
And thank you for giving me holes to choose from
And since I'm not a godless whore
He'll have to come in the back door
Therefore
Fuck me in the ass cause I love Jesus
The good Lord would want it that way
Gimme that sweet sensation of a throbbing rationalization
It's just between you and me
Cause everyone knows it's the sex that God can't see
It's hard to be as pure as me
To resist the urge to lose my vaginal virginity
To wait until my marriage bed
To give my husband my unsullied maiden head
So take your cock out
Shove it in my ass
Fuck me until you come
Oops! I mean let's join our souls
And unite our bodies
And fly with the wings of God
Whatever you do, don't touch my clitoris
If you ring Satan's doorbell, God can't ignore this
And no prophylactics when you put it in
Cause birth control's for sluts and it's a sin
I've emptied my bowels
And laid out the towels
I'm ready for romance
Now I'm praying to the Power that's the Highest
But of all of my holes, this ones the driest
And we can't procreate if we anally copulate
And God is OK with sodomy, but only if you're straight
And I'm staying pure, no matter what
So I'm OK with everything butt
Everything butt
Everything butt
Fuck me in the ass cause I love Jesus
The good Lord would want it that way
Gimme that sweet sensation of a rock hard rationalization
It's just between you and me
Cause everyone knows it's the sex that God can't see
I do whatever The Bible tells me to
Except for the parts that I choose to ignore
Because they're unrealistic and inconvenient
But the rest I live by for sure
So let's not talk about how the Good Book bans shellfish, polyester and divorce
And how it condones slavery and killing gays because those parts don't count, of course
Let's cherry-pick the part about losing my cherry and mine it for ambiguities and omissions
To circumvent any real sacrifice, but still feel pious in my arbitrary parroted positions
And don't you dare question my convictions
And don't look closely at the contradictions
Just focus on the sacrificial crucifixion
And have faith in its complete jurisdiction
As the only way to measure if you're good or not
And in a debate, just say to “have faith”
Because when you're up against logic, it's the only card you've got
So close your eyes
Take a deep breath
And..
Fuck me in the ass cause I love Jesus
The good Lord would want it that way
Gimme that sweet sensation of an irrational rationalization
It's just between you and me
Cause everyone knows it's the sex that God can't see
Yeah, my chastity belt has locks
But sometimes you need to think outside the box
http://genius.com/Garfunkel-and-oates-t ... ole-lyrics
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Re: Clean Reader app ... Oh well, F**k it
Outstanding video. I love their tongue in cheeks approach to morality.
As my old Cajun bait seller used to say, "I opes you luck.
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- Expatriate
- Posts: 3858
- Joined: Mon May 19, 2014 7:49 am
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- Location: Outside of Kampong Cham city
Re: Clean Reader app ... Oh well, F**k it
Unless there is a pun on ass there is no reason for this thread to be here.
As my old Cajun bait seller used to say, "I opes you luck.
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