How to avoid visiting girlfiend's parents in the boonies
How to avoid visiting girlfiend's parents in the boonies
My stoic resolve to avoid emotional entanglements weakened and I am now in a 'relationship' of a few months standing.
I know that, sooner or later, I am going to be asked if I want to visit the parents who are in Battambang. The short answer is NO. But this will cause hurt feelings, especially as a "no" would require some explanation as to why not.
The truthful reasons are: I don't like Khmer food and won't eat it, squat toilets (probably a best-case scenario), sleeping on the floor or bamboo beds, eating on the floor, mosquitos, snakes, no pub, no AC, no TV, no couch. And all this deprivation would last at least 2 days. The list could go on.
I know some people like going back to 19th-century living conditions, but I am not one of them. Judge me all you like.
So, who has some tried and trusted face-saving reasons (excuses) as to why I won't be visiting Mum, Dad and 20 relatives and neighbours anytime soon.
I know that, sooner or later, I am going to be asked if I want to visit the parents who are in Battambang. The short answer is NO. But this will cause hurt feelings, especially as a "no" would require some explanation as to why not.
The truthful reasons are: I don't like Khmer food and won't eat it, squat toilets (probably a best-case scenario), sleeping on the floor or bamboo beds, eating on the floor, mosquitos, snakes, no pub, no AC, no TV, no couch. And all this deprivation would last at least 2 days. The list could go on.
I know some people like going back to 19th-century living conditions, but I am not one of them. Judge me all you like.
So, who has some tried and trusted face-saving reasons (excuses) as to why I won't be visiting Mum, Dad and 20 relatives and neighbours anytime soon.
Re: How to avoid visiting girlfiend's parents in the boonies
Invite them to Phnom Penh and rent them a room for a few nights.Doc67 wrote: ↑Sat Jan 18, 2025 10:24 am My stoic resolve to avoid emotional entanglements weakened and I am now in a 'relationship' of a few months standing.
I know that, sooner or later, I am going to be asked if I want to visit the parents who are in Battambang. The short answer is NO. But this will cause hurt feelings, especially as a "no" would require some explanation as to why not.
The truthful reasons are: I don't like Khmer food and won't eat it, squat toilets (probably a best-case scenario), sleeping on the floor or bamboo beds, eating on the floor, mosquitos, snakes, no pub, no AC, no TV, no couch. And all this deprivation would last at least 2 days. The list could go on.
I know some people like going back to 19th-century living conditions, but I am not one of them. Judge me all you like.
So, who has some tried and trusted face-saving reasons (excuses) as to why I won't be visiting Mum, Dad and 20 relatives and neighbours anytime soon.
Or go and visit but stay in Battambang city. Pretend the need for WiFi to explain that if they don't buy your reasons for discomfort.
Re: How to avoid visiting girlfiend's parents in the boonies
Book a nice hotel there, invite them for lunch, say you’ll visit their place the next day, fake a bad stomach, send a gift with the Mrs and have an awesome arvo chilling by the pool with some beers.
They’ll feel sorry for you and think you’re a don.
They’ll feel sorry for you and think you’re a don.
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Re: How to avoid visiting girlfiend's parents in the boonies
I visited wife's family ONCE in Svay Rieng back in 2009< they saw how miserable i was and she never asked me to go againDoc67 wrote: ↑Sat Jan 18, 2025 10:24 am My stoic resolve to avoid emotional entanglements weakened and I am now in a 'relationship' of a few months standing.
I know that, sooner or later, I am going to be asked if I want to visit the parents who are in Battambang. The short answer is NO. But this will cause hurt feelings, especially as a "no" would require some explanation as to why not.
The truthful reasons are: I don't like Khmer food and won't eat it, squat toilets (probably a best-case scenario), sleeping on the floor or bamboo beds, eating on the floor, mosquitos, snakes, no pub, no AC, no TV, no couch. And all this deprivation would last at least 2 days. The list could go on.
I know some people like going back to 19th-century living conditions, but I am not one of them. Judge me all you like.
So, who has some tried and trusted face-saving reasons (excuses) as to why I won't be visiting Mum, Dad and 20 relatives and neighbours anytime soon.
so my advice<
Do it Once,
Or
just be honest with ur girl and tell her the truth> She will handle telling the family which wont be upset cause they already know Barangs are strange and cant live without aircon /tv / internet, dont like the smell of cow shit or roosters at 4 am
if you go, be prepared to pay for everything, including multiple cases of beer for the neighbors and u being forced to drink with them
In a nation run by swine, all pigs are upward-mobile and the rest of us are fucked until we can put our acts together: not necessarily to win, but mainly to keep from losing completely. HST
Re: How to avoid visiting girlfiend's parents in the boonies
Are you sure that their house is as you describe? Genuine question, you might have seen pictures or not. That list of horrors you describe is probably still very much the norm, but it isn't the 2000s anymore, I've increasingly been seeing things like ACs and even proper beds in the sticks.
Re: How to avoid visiting girlfiend's parents in the boonies
I have seen pictures, and it aint pretty. I had a spare unused electric water heater in my cupboard taking up space. I offered it to her to take to her parent's house, and it was gratefully accepted. There is electricity at least! They are (I think) rice farmers and I am fairly sure the conditions are as I fear, perhaps worse. I haven't asked for any further details as I don't want to show any interest.Alex wrote: ↑Sat Jan 18, 2025 10:54 am Are you sure that their house is as you describe? Genuine question, you might have seen pictures or not. That list of horrors you describe is probably still very much the norm, but it isn't the 2000s anymore, I've increasingly been seeing things like ACs and even proper beds in the sticks.
I know it sound selfish, but I know me and know I would not deal well with such a culture shock.
- Random Dude
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Re: How to avoid visiting girlfiend's parents in the boonies
Preemptively dropping hints 'might' work. Steer the conversation towards (real or made up) previous trips to the countryside where you were miserable, your knees couldn't handle the squat toilets, you couldn't, sleep, couldn't eat the food etc, and how- to your dismay - it made you a terrible, argumentative guest and you never want to put yourself or others in that position again.
Maybe she'll take it onboard and think twice before asking you to visit.
Maybe she'll take it onboard and think twice before asking you to visit.
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Re: How to avoid visiting girlfiend's parents in the boonies
Your bad back may flare up requiring a proper bed.
Sleep in the city or a local B&B and visit them for an afternoon.
Buy a few kilos of seafood, beef and a couple of cases of beer and they will think you are amazing even if you ‘can’t’ sleep at their place.
People are understanding and you not being there could actually be a relief to them - they won’t have the stress of hosting this precious foreigner.
Don’t worry too much about it
Sleep in the city or a local B&B and visit them for an afternoon.
Buy a few kilos of seafood, beef and a couple of cases of beer and they will think you are amazing even if you ‘can’t’ sleep at their place.
People are understanding and you not being there could actually be a relief to them - they won’t have the stress of hosting this precious foreigner.
Don’t worry too much about it
Re: How to avoid visiting girlfiend's parents in the boonies
I try to avoid visit's to my wife's parents' house as much as possible, but sometimes I simply can't. It's always a very sobering experience, teaching me how incredibly spoilt I am compared to them.
I usually stay for the day, then move into a guesthouse in the city claiming I have to do work. But with the new technologies advancing (now there's 4G and electricity, luckily 4G is not 100% reliable) my excuses become less and less realistic.
Personally the lack of comfort isn't the worst for me. I can manage a wooden floor for the night (one...) and squatter's toilets are fine (their former house required venturing deep into the garden with a shovel...) but in the boonies there is f#ck all to do during the day making the hours last for what seems days.
However, if you're serious with the girl you have to go once. I would make base in Battambang and venture from there on a day trip (which you can shorten to a few hours). Wake up in your hotel, go out, and return before the mozzies and chicken lice have woken up. You could even leave the girl in the boonies and venture on some Battambang sightseeing on your own.
I usually stay for the day, then move into a guesthouse in the city claiming I have to do work. But with the new technologies advancing (now there's 4G and electricity, luckily 4G is not 100% reliable) my excuses become less and less realistic.
Personally the lack of comfort isn't the worst for me. I can manage a wooden floor for the night (one...) and squatter's toilets are fine (their former house required venturing deep into the garden with a shovel...) but in the boonies there is f#ck all to do during the day making the hours last for what seems days.
However, if you're serious with the girl you have to go once. I would make base in Battambang and venture from there on a day trip (which you can shorten to a few hours). Wake up in your hotel, go out, and return before the mozzies and chicken lice have woken up. You could even leave the girl in the boonies and venture on some Battambang sightseeing on your own.
Last edited by Kammekor on Sat Jan 18, 2025 11:52 am, edited 1 time in total.
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