atst wrote: ↑Sat Apr 23, 2022 12:22 pm

Divorce not common, yeah right....

Not common because loads never legally get married, so there's also no legal divorce.

I think if the OP has to ask this kind of question, he should just stop because he doesn't trust her enough to go down this route. And what of the feelings of his intended wife to be?

AndyKK wrote: ↑Sat Apr 23, 2022 11:28 pm I think if the OP has to ask this kind of question, he should just stop because he doesn't trust her enough to go down this route. And what of the feelings of his intended wife to be?

Disagree. I think this is logical and normal to ask. How many relationships started W/ trust, loving and kindness? They all do no?
On another note--- if blending a family this is definitely needed. That way no issues/concerns / surprises for any parties involved
ie: children from previous marriage / adult children etc

BklynBoy, you hit the nail on the head there. My children live with me so I don’t want them to lose their home because I married the wrong person. Obviously I trust my gf otherwise I wouldn’t want to get married in the first place but having a bit of security for the kids sake takes away any doubts. My gf and I have been able to have an open and honest discussion about this, isn’t that the adult thing to do? Maybe too many men on here are marrying the wrong girl judging by some of the negative comments, probably met in a bar and have a huge age gap. Not all of us are dirty old men you know. I was happy to sign a prenup for my previous wife who had a lot more than me. It was no big deal at all, 12 happy years together before we divorced and zero issues when we did. We’re still friends now because there was no need for a bitter, angry divorce and we didn’t fuck up the kids in the process. I don’t understand why some people are against prenups to be honest. Better for the husband, better for the wife, better for the kids. Win/win for everyone.

I think it's called a " living estate" where the wife can live in the home but she doesn't own it and cannot sell it. She lives there for the rest of her life if wanted then it reverts back to the adult children or whoever you want to have it.
I think that is a good way to deal w/ property when have children from a previous marriage. If one did have children w/ the new wife--- then I am unsure how to navigate that part.

Men / women marry the wrong person or they were the right person for a finite time?
being a "dirty old man" doesn't come into the decision making at all. lol You can be a dirty old man and still do whatever. You mention your first wife and how it worked out.
Marriages/relationships can be difficult enough- It's possible when throwing in different cultures etc .. another twist to add. ALso people change over time.
Not to rant but if have adult or any children from previous marriage, I would think a Life Estate "MIGHT" make all parties happy/comfortable

kambokiwi wrote: ↑Sat Apr 23, 2022 6:35 pm We have absolutely no intention of ever getting a divorce

No one ever starts out with the intention of getting a divorce.

kambokiwi wrote: ↑Sat Apr 23, 2022 6:35 pm I want a prenup in both countries actually because neither would be valid in both. I think it’s fair if I keep any property in my country (which I already have) and she can keep any property we buy in Cambodia in the future (which we plan to do). We have absolutely no intention of ever getting a divorce but no harm in planning for the worst. No different than getting insurance really. You hope you never need it but it’s there if you ever do.

Do you intend to live together in Cambodia or your country (NZ?) or both?

If you marry and live in Cambodia and she doesn't become a permanent resident of NZ, then as you say, it follows you keep your house in NZ. And if you buy a house in Cambodia she can split that or keep that for the kids.

I can see the value of a prenup in our home countries but here in Cambodia I'm not sure of the need. But TBH I have no legal understanding here. I just say that coz locals split up here (often without official divorce) and presumably they split up the property amongst themselves. Could you even enforce a prenup here unless you throw bags of money at a lawyer?

I think the OP would be wiser to spend his money on counselling, rather than legal fees.

I think a prenup is a great idea. I have many friends and relatives who got divorced without one, and one of them always got screwed over.

I think a Cambodian prenup would be a waste of time and money. Put the Cambodian house and bank account in her name. In your home country, get the prenup and keep everything in your name. Definitely talk to a lawyer there. Then, in time, you'll see if one of you is a scorpion and the other is a frog.

Long ago, a psychologist told me that two people should know each other very well, IN REAL LIFE (not just Skype, farkbook, grinder, tooter, or whatever new fangled malarkey the yoots of today are using to find their soulmates) for at least 5 years before considering marriage. She was absolutely correct, imo.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do!