And Another Thing!!

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Kung-fu Hillbilly
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And Another Thing!!

Post by Kung-fu Hillbilly »

Being in the company of my Indonesian "friend with benefits" these last few days I've noticed she never says "thank you" to service staff, or anyone else for that matter that may afford her anything - like another scooter driver waiting to the side of a small alley allowing her to pass first.

On reflection, I don't recall many of my Asian friends conveying gratitude or thanks for small gestures, whereas personally I believe showing appreciation for the little things to be somewhat important.

Do your Asian friends, significant others, family etc offer small thank you's?
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frank lee bent
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Re: And Another Thing!!

Post by frank lee bent »

:D they walk 3 paces behind. does that count?
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Username Taken
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Re: And Another Thing!!

Post by Username Taken »

Kung-fu Hillbilly wrote: Do your Asian friends, significant others, family etc offer small thank you's?
My 'extended' family are always ready to borrow money, but never, ever say thanks. :whip:
potty
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Re: And Another Thing!!

Post by potty »

nobody ever says thank you, neither here nor in Thailand.
neither they say sorry.

funnily, they expect you to say all that. if you don't, they appear massively disturbed.

if you do, it goes down soooooooooo well...

strange, eh?

you may also find that in Europe, with some certain "types" of ppl...
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frank lee bent
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Re: And Another Thing!!

Post by frank lee bent »

becaw
it job bilong YOU!
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StroppyChops
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Re: And Another Thing!!

Post by StroppyChops »

Saying thanks in Asian cultures is often seen as weak - and I'm happy to be seen that way, as I was raised to say thanks, and sorry, and excuse me, and to open doors for others, to offer my chair to elders, etc.
Bodge: This ain't Kansas, and the neighbours ate Toto!
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Kuroneko
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Re: And Another Thing!!

Post by Kuroneko »

An interesting point concerning this on another site re Chinese ''Do native Chinese speakers really find that Thank You (xiè xiè) will add distances between buddies?''

''Chinese customs on saying thank you vary wildly depending on region (the Cantonese feel the need for two forms of thank you, one for a favor and one for a thing), traditionalism, social class and a host of other interconnected factors. One instance of (mainland) Chinese people almost never saying thank you is to waiters/service people
"Thank you"/谢谢 is often used in a perfunctory sense for small favors and among close friends is often dropped because gratitude is presumed and formal recognitions are unnecessary. ''http://www.quora.com/Do-native-Chinese- ... en-buddies
However my wife is Chinese Khmer and always says ''sank you'' as does father in law when I have assisted him in some way, but I think this is probably a result of exposure to western etiquette.
Rama
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Re: And Another Thing!!

Post by Rama »

The Khmer we all (wrongly?) use to say, "thank you" is "អរគុណ / ArKun" which is made up of two words- អរ / Ar = an adjective meaning 'to be happy, glad, joyful' and គុណ/Kun = a noun meaning "merit, good deed, favor, kindness; virtue; something worthy of remembrance"
So, a more precise translation of អរគុណ would be "thanks for your good deed".

This is an Asian hierarchical society. Asians wouldn't 'thank' those 'below' them in society.

l was told by a changing room boy in a spa not to thank him(he past me towels/cleaned my shoes etc...nothing kinky) : he was just doing his job...Instead of thanks give a tip for a job well done (plus you're rich - service staff are poor)
Last edited by Rama on Sun Dec 28, 2014 8:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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StroppyChops
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Re: And Another Thing!!

Post by StroppyChops »

^ after reading Kuoneko's post I remembered my young personal aid when I taught in China. She would frown slightly when I thanked her, and eventually asked if I was displeased with her (we had a very proper father/daughter relationship) and when I asked what she meant she answered that please and thank you is not for friends and family, only for people you have to be formal with, like strangers. She says that it was right that she serve me (given my age and position) and to thank her reduced her service to me as her mentor. Food for thought, I still struggled to not show the western courtesies.
Bodge: This ain't Kansas, and the neighbours ate Toto!
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