clearly a keeper

Brody wrote: ↑Fri Jan 01, 2021 1:56 pm

Beauty corka shazza

Arget wrote: ↑Fri Jan 01, 2021 4:25 pm

Groan!!!!

An electrician comes home to his wife after working a job at a millionaires house...
He says to his wife “honey you will not believe this, the house I worked at today had a golden toilet.”

She says “Really? I need to see this.”

They take a ride across the neighborhood and pull up in front of a huge house.

The electrician knocks on the door, a woman answers and the electrician says “I did work on your house today and would love to show my wife that golden toilet you have.”

The wife yelled to her husband...."Dave.....I found out who took a shit in your tuba !"
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SIMPLE TRUTH AND NOTHING

BUT THE SIMPLE TRUTH!!



SIMPLE TRUTH 1



Lovers help each other undress before sex.

However after sex, they always dress on their own.



Moral of the story: In life, no one helps you once you're screwed.



SIMPLE TRUTH 2



When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch the stomach and say, "Congrats"!

But, none of them touch the man's penis and say, "Good job".



Moral of the story: Hard work is never appreciated.



FIVE RULES TO REMEMBER IN LIFE



1. Money cannot buy happiness, but it's more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than on a bicycle.



2. Forgive your enemy, but remember the asshole's name.



3. If you help someone when they're in trouble, they will remember you when they're in trouble again.



4. Many people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot them.



5. Alcohol does not solve any problems, but then neither does milk.



Bonus Truth:



Condoms don't guarantee safe sex.


A friend of mine was wearing one, when he was shot by the woman's husband.