“Stealthing”

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Phnom Poon
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Re: “Stealthing”

Post by Phnom Poon » Sun Aug 30, 2020 1:52 pm

i'm confused, is lividzx the condom escapologist?

or a random guy getting partners to 'consent' to not wearing a condom
somehow

and then starting an argument with rozzioz about how it's all no big deal?

a selfish public health hazard in either case

.

monstra mihi bona!
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Cowshed Cowboy
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Re: “Stealthing”

Post by Cowshed Cowboy » Sun Aug 30, 2020 8:57 pm

It all seems to be about taking the moral high ground in a sea of immorality. Wherever possible I avoid bad weather especially hurricanes.
Never trust a man who when left alone with a tea cosey, doesn't try it on.
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Cowshed Cowboy
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Re: “Stealthing”

Post by Cowshed Cowboy » Sun Aug 30, 2020 9:05 pm

Never trust a man who when left alone with a tea cosey, doesn't try it on.
Anchor Moy
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Re: “Stealthing”

Post by Anchor Moy » Sun Aug 30, 2020 10:06 pm

phuketrichard wrote:
Sun Aug 30, 2020 1:31 pm
Alex wrote:
Sun Aug 30, 2020 12:57 pm
So we have quite a range here. One woman experienced this despicable practice a whopping three times (I'd assume with three different blokes). Another woman hasn't even heard the term. It's not hard to guess that they probably have very different lifestyles.
Its the company you keep that dictates the experiences you will have
or as the saying goes,

"He that lieth down with dogs shall rise up with fleas"
Breaking news - All women (and men) don't have the same sexual preferences. Some like multiple partners and some prefer monogamy. In both cases, sometimes you can make bad choices about who you trust. That doesn't make you a bad person.

Life is about learning. People who pass on their bad experiences to other people should be thanked and not treated as pariahs.(Fleas, really? )
:dm:
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Ghostwriter
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Re: “Stealthing”

Post by Ghostwriter » Sun Aug 30, 2020 10:42 pm

Image
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rozzieoz
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Re: “Stealthing”

Post by rozzieoz » Wed Sep 16, 2020 8:57 am

Alex wrote:
Sun Aug 30, 2020 12:57 pm
Another woman hasn't even heard the term.
Not knowing about it is NOT going to protect anyone from it happening to them.
It will make them more vulnerable if it ever does happen to them!

That's exactly why I spoke out about it, because it's hideous and traumatic and I don't want it to happen to anyone else.

Do you think I posted about this so people would know about my personal life? Absolutely NOT!
Do you think I wanted people to have a discussion about how much of a slut I am? Not something I enjoy, I can assure you.

I posted about it so other women can be warned. And so other men can be aware it happens far more than you'd ever imagine.

No man asked me how many partners I've had before he made the decision to break his promise to me to wear a condom.
This is NOT about how many sexual partners I've had or how much I enjoy sex. That's called victim blaming.
The focus should be on the man and why he feels it's right to violate my consent.

Agreeing to sex and agreeing to barrier-free sex are VERY different things!

His disregard for me had nothing to do with my sexual history, it had to do with him being a sexual abuser, with complete disregard for his 'victim.'

When I said - 'hey there's a pharmacy, let's stop for condoms, just in case....", he had no intention of wearing it.
When he bought the condoms, he had no intention of wearing it.
When he put it on...he had no intention of keeping it on.

But of course, I deserved it because I enjoy sex. How dare I!

(I was struggling with posting this, but I had to say something. I will go back to trying to ignore CEO).
Once you've read the dictionary, every other book is just a remix.
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rozzieoz
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Re: “Stealthing”

Post by rozzieoz » Wed Sep 16, 2020 9:00 am

phuketrichard wrote:
Sun Aug 30, 2020 1:31 pm
Alex wrote:
Sun Aug 30, 2020 12:57 pm
So we have quite a range here. One woman experienced this despicable practice a whopping three times (I'd assume with three different blokes). Another woman hasn't even heard the term. It's not hard to guess that they probably have very different lifestyles.
Its the company you keep that dictates the experiences you will have
or as the saying goes,

"He that lieth down with dogs shall rise up with fleas"
Really Richard?
Please explain what you mean by this comment.
Once you've read the dictionary, every other book is just a remix.
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Alex
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Re: “Stealthing”

Post by Alex » Wed Sep 16, 2020 5:05 pm

rozzieoz wrote:
Wed Sep 16, 2020 8:57 am
Alex wrote:
Sun Aug 30, 2020 12:57 pm
Another woman hasn't even heard the term.
Not knowing about it is NOT going to protect anyone from it happening to them.
It will make them more vulnerable if it ever does happen to them!

(...)

But of course, I deserved it because I enjoy sex.
Of course you did NOT deserve it. In my post that you've chosen to quote only partially, I have called what the guy did "despicable". That's what it is, no excuses and no relativism as far as I'm concerned.

My point is, however, that people who encounter a dangerous and traumatizing situation are better off if they learn from it and take action to avoid a repeat in the future, regardless of the question of fault.

To give you an example that's also relevant to life in Phnom Penh, I know several victims of bag snatching who have consequently decided that they are better off without a bag swung around their shoulder. If I had - sensibly - advised them to do so, would I have done that because I like to blame the victim? Of course not.

What stands out here for me is that this has happened to you repeatedly, while many other women haven't even heard of it. Saying that it would be in your best interest to reconsider your choice of sex partners isn't victim blaming. It's just sensible.
whatwat
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Re: “Stealthing”

Post by whatwat » Wed Sep 16, 2020 5:07 pm

Who doesn’t enjoy sex?
Don’t listen to Chinese whispers.
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rozzieoz
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Re: “Stealthing”

Post by rozzieoz » Wed Sep 16, 2020 5:19 pm

Alex wrote:
Wed Sep 16, 2020 5:05 pm
Saying that it would be in your best interest to reconsider your choice of sex partners isn't victim blaming. It's just sensible.
How do you whether someone is going to do this by looking at them?
Go on a few dates and get to know them - I did.
Only date people who are known to friends - I did.
Request they wear a condom - did that too.
Believe them when they assure me they will? Oops, my bad!
Once you've read the dictionary, every other book is just a remix.
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