Sex Diary: The Expat Who Keeps Falling for Men With Girlfriends

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Kung-fu Hillbilly
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Sex Diary: The Expat Who Keeps Falling for Men With Girlfriends

Post by Kung-fu Hillbilly »

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Photo: John Gallagher

The Cut
Mar. 1, 2020


“I want you to fuck me,” I say over WhatsApp.

3 p.m. This French dude texts me to suggest I come over this weekend so he can cook for me. He’s really nice, but I decide to be honest with him and tell him that we are better off as friends. But I’m not being honest. Not really. The thing is, he looks too much like Drake. He knows it too and brought it up during our date. I can’t fuck someone who looks so much like Drake but is not Drake. It’s too distracting.

9 p.m. I haven’t heard anything from the Italian guy and know it’s not happening. I start trolling Tinder. I’ve never started talking to someone and fucked them on the same night.

10 p.m. I’m at a bar with the Tinder guy. He’s a little shorter than me and not very attractive in person. And he’s awkward. I mull over whether he’s fuckable. I wonder how many drinks I have to have before I can leave.

1 a.m. We’re walking back toward my apartment. It’s time to make the call. It’s around the corner from the bar. But I can’t fuck him. I’d feel gross about it after. I have one last drink at the bar by my apartment and chat with the cute bartender who’s always nice to me. I wonder if he’d fuck me. I go home.

DAY TWO
11 p.m

I’m fucking Portuguese Jesus, and the condom breaks. He cuddles with me after, and a couple of hot tears involuntarily escape me. I’m thinking about a bartender that was holding me last week and then ended up being kind of a dick. I catch the tears before they touch his skin so he won’t notice.

3 a.m. I’m fucking Portuguese Jesus again. No condom this time, but I tell him to pull out.

DAY SIX
9 p.m. I’m at a going away party for a co-worker. S tells me he just bought some coke. I go into the bathroom with him and another co-worker and do a key bump. The other co-worker leaves the bathroom. S and I are about to leave when we exchange “that” look.

DAY SEVEN
11:30 a.m. I have to take a half-day to get a visa for an upcoming trip, and the embassy is in another city. The guy who approves the visas uses this as an opportunity to flirt with me. He makes a show of giving me the discounted visa rate, even though I brought in the necessary paperwork. I know what kind of man he is. And he knows I have to play along. Eventually, I mention a meeting at work, and he finally gives me the visa. He also gives me his card and tells me not to be a stranger

full https://www.thecut.com/2020/03/sex-diar ... iends.html
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