Oh, You Internet.
- Username Taken
- Raven
- Posts: 13929
- Joined: Mon May 19, 2014 6:53 pm
- Reputation: 6003
Re: Oh, You Internet.
This just in . . . . .
A Catholic Priest, a Baptist Preacher and a Rabbi all served as Chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University, at Marquette, in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
They would get together, two or three times a week, for coffee and to talk shop.
One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard.
A real challenge would be to preach to a bear.
One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment...
They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it to their religion.
Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experiences.
Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches, and had various bandages on his body and limbs, went first:
'Well,' he said, 'I went into the woods to find me a bear.
And when I found him, I began to read to him from the Catechism.
Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and it began to slap me around.
So, I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy-Mary-Mother-of-God, he became as gentle as a lamb.
The Bishop is coming out next week to give him First Communion and Confirmation.'
Reverend Billy Bob, the Baptist, spoke next:
He was in a wheelchair, had one arm and both legs in casts, and had an IV drip.
In his best fire-and-brimstone oratory, he exclaimed,
'WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we Baptists don't sprinkle!
I went out and I FOUND me a bear.
And, then, I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD!
But, that bear wanted nothing to do with me.
So, I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle.
We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek.
So, I quickly DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul.
And, just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb.
We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus.
Hallelujah!
The Priest and the Reverend both looked down at the Rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed.
He was in a body cast and traction with IVs and monitors running in and out of him.
He was in really bad shape.
The Rabbi looked up and said:
"Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start."
A Catholic Priest, a Baptist Preacher and a Rabbi all served as Chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University, at Marquette, in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
They would get together, two or three times a week, for coffee and to talk shop.
One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard.
A real challenge would be to preach to a bear.
One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment...
They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it to their religion.
Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experiences.
Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches, and had various bandages on his body and limbs, went first:
'Well,' he said, 'I went into the woods to find me a bear.
And when I found him, I began to read to him from the Catechism.
Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and it began to slap me around.
So, I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy-Mary-Mother-of-God, he became as gentle as a lamb.
The Bishop is coming out next week to give him First Communion and Confirmation.'
Reverend Billy Bob, the Baptist, spoke next:
He was in a wheelchair, had one arm and both legs in casts, and had an IV drip.
In his best fire-and-brimstone oratory, he exclaimed,
'WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we Baptists don't sprinkle!
I went out and I FOUND me a bear.
And, then, I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD!
But, that bear wanted nothing to do with me.
So, I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle.
We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek.
So, I quickly DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul.
And, just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb.
We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus.
Hallelujah!
The Priest and the Reverend both looked down at the Rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed.
He was in a body cast and traction with IVs and monitors running in and out of him.
He was in really bad shape.
The Rabbi looked up and said:
"Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start."
- StroppyChops
- The Missionary Man
- Posts: 10598
- Joined: Tue May 06, 2014 11:24 am
- Reputation: 1032
Re: Oh, You Internet.
Bodge: This ain't Kansas, and the neighbours ate Toto!
-
- Expatriate
- Posts: 1365
- Joined: Thu May 15, 2014 9:37 pm
- Reputation: 133
Re: Oh, You Internet.
So, you think you are having a bad day...
-
- Expatriate
- Posts: 1365
- Joined: Thu May 15, 2014 9:37 pm
- Reputation: 133
Re: Oh, You Internet.
Parking's a breeze:
-
- Expatriate
- Posts: 1365
- Joined: Thu May 15, 2014 9:37 pm
- Reputation: 133
-
- Expatriate
- Posts: 1365
- Joined: Thu May 15, 2014 9:37 pm
- Reputation: 133
Re: Oh, You Internet.
Please tell me it's true:
-
- Expatriate
- Posts: 1255
- Joined: Sat May 17, 2014 6:14 am
- Reputation: 3
- Location: Soon, Soon There
Re: Oh, You Internet.
^
When two planes carrying a total of 9 skydivers collided mid air, 12,000 feet above Superior, Wisconsin. The wings disconnected from one of the planes causing a fiery explosion. All 9 skydiver landed safely, as well as the two pilots, one of which was taken to the hospital to treat minor cuts.
-
- Expatriate
- Posts: 319
- Joined: Wed May 21, 2014 10:22 am
- Reputation: 19
- Location: Phnom Penh
Re: Oh, You Internet.
Someone might find their flying days are numbered.Milord wrote:^When two planes carrying a total of 9 skydivers collided mid air, 12,000 feet above Superior, Wisconsin. The wings disconnected from one of the planes causing a fiery explosion. All 9 skydiver landed safely, as well as the two pilots, one of which was taken to the hospital to treat minor cuts.
-
- Expatriate
- Posts: 4267
- Joined: Mon May 19, 2014 1:06 pm
- Reputation: 471
-
- Similar Topics
- Replies
- Views
- Last post
-
- 6 Replies
- 4165 Views
-
Last post by DavidFieldman
-
- 3 Replies
- 6422 Views
-
Last post by fsdfdsdf
-
- 4 Replies
- 4001 Views
-
Last post by Bluenose
-
- 11 Replies
- 7186 Views
-
Last post by mossie
-
- 10 Replies
- 4455 Views
-
Last post by newkidontheblock
-
- 7 Replies
- 1494 Views
-
Last post by whereami
-
- 10 Replies
- 6708 Views
-
Last post by twensolr91
Who is online
Users browsing this forum: Clutch Cargo, Deefer, John Bingham, Little_Vicious, lurcio, Semrush [Bot], Spigzy and 569 guests